Autumn is coming WOO HOO WOO HOO!!! :-)
This is my most favorite time of year. Awesome. I can smell it coming.
I remember that it's always inspired me, so from what I can remember about my days of keeping all those old journals, this was when I did most of my writing in them-- because the emotions and associated teenaged bullshit would just come pouring out. I probably wrote double the pages in autum, as compared to the rest of the year.
So I thought I'd try and compile some bits and pieces of past fall stuff that I can remember, since there's no hard copies anymore.
First and Foremost... there was always....
SCHOOL
I have to admit, I always loved starting school. (With all due respect to the homeschooling reich, I hate to say it, but I really did.)
There was just a great rush, and something innocent about starting out with clean stuff. I love clean slates. Maybe that's why I move so much. Who knows. But I couldn't wait to get all the STUFF.... new binders that hadn't been graffittied to death, new pens that hadn't been chewed apart yet-- choosing the PERFECT one that had just the perfect amount of ink flow. (Love and gossip notes had to be written with the right pen, you know.) At the beginning of the year, the homework is always pretty easy... it doesn't get really abhorable until at least November. Plus, you're only jut getting to know the new teachers, and they don't want you to hate 'em already, right? So it's pretty manageable at this stage. You're learning all new things, plus there might be some transfer kid in your class who didnt HAVE the quadratic equasion yet in his last class, so it takes awhile for the shit to really get going. September is kinda amnesty month as far as hard shit goes.
It was always like starting the school year would bring on this whole rush of anticipation for the year ahead... like take the high school years, for example: you'd probably be riding to school with someone different this year-- at least for me, it seemed like each year I would decide to change my identity (again-- isnt adolescense great?) meaning I'd be hagning out with an altogether different group of friends from last year . And it would be someone different, who would be kind enough to fetch me in the morning (since my parents were the most evil in the world and never got me my own car). Which would then determine the exact type of music I'd be listening to first thing in the morning, the exact amount of time I'd have before school to hang out in the hallways, and scope guys, and make fun of all the dumbasses that me and my friends had it out for... lots of things depended on who you went to school with in the morning.
The new school year brought new classroom lineups. Oh the anticipation! I have this new schedule in my hands, on this computer print-out little rectangular slip of carbon paper with the perferated edges... 2nd year Spanish, 1st hour... oh boy, GAWD wouldn't it be awesome if that hilarious clown from my class last year would be in my class again this year. heh heh. we could sit next to each other and cause all sorts of trouble again. But I dont know if we got the same class again, 'cause he's a guy I really dont know that well out of school, and wouldn't have seen at all over the summer. It'll just be pot-luck. Sweet.
The new school year also brought new clothes, and colder weather which meant.... DA DA!!!! FLANNEL SHIRT WEATHER!!! HOT DIGGITY!!! Nothing, and I mean NOTHING better than Flannel Shirt Weather. Second only to Flannel Shirts was the kind of weather where you can wear shorts + long sleeve shirt and not be cold, OR the first blue jeans of the season + short sleeve shirt, and not be cold.
The beginning of the school year also meant nights getting longer-- which meant most after-school activities that I would've been involved in would've been ending in the dark. I realize I'm probably the only person in the world who would notice or care about this, but as a noctournal type, this meant my real energy was maximised at this time. As I started to notice more darkness coming on, I started to get even more super-charged and just plain silly. Which for some reason meant that student council meetings, play practices, and symphony rehearsals just ended in:
a) hysterics
b) trouble
c) Mr. Pibb-spryaing-out-nose
d) dancing in the moonlight
e) all of the above
OZZY - NMT
For some reason, whenever autumn comes around, I think of Ozzy Osbourne's No More Tears album. I must have been listening to this album non-stop for 3 months solid one year. I think it wouldve been some high-school year. Anyway I used to be the kind of person who could listen to one tape, back to back to back, for months on end. I'm not exaggerating either. I can distinclty remember that Ozzy tape was one of the ones which went into my stereo one year, in September, and didnt come out until oh, maybe late October, or early November. It sounds strange now, because I don't think I could do it anymore. Although I have had that Robert Earl Keen CD in my car deck for like , 3 weeks at least... hmmm..
I remember the Ozzy album, because I can remember one day, coming home from school and shutting myself in my bedrdoom (as usual) and turning on my stereo. I would lay on my floor, every single day after school, with my head by my stereo speaker. I did this because I wasnt allowed to have my music up loud. My parents would FREAK if they heard bass coming through the floors. They said it was like chinese water tourture... boom-boom-boom-boom. I couldn not STAND them for this, but I heard myself say the same damn thing about 10 times over the last year (in reference to the pub next door to our house) and that freaks ME out.
Anyway, one of these days that I was laying on my floor after school (and before dinner), I was writing in my journal. This would normally be the time that I would do my journal writing, because it was a convenient way to avoid doing homework. Ozzy was on, of course, and I remember writing my usual pretentious bullshit, specifically something to the effect of: "I think I'll always associate Ozzy with fall... I have been listening to this NMT album for about 4 weeks straight now, and I'm starting to have visions of autumn leaves and pumpkins and cool temperatures every time I put it on. The sunsets are beautiful... I want to cry... This is DEFINITELY my "Fall Album 199X.... NO more tears...". Then I probably would've segued into some rubbish strategy for how I would creatively stick it to my evil parents for the week, and/or where would be a QUALITY destination to consider for college. Either that or creative ways in which to lure unsuspecting lovely boys like Daryl or Darren or Derek or Dave into my insideous vice grips of dooooom!!
LEAVES
In Missouri, where I grew up, the autumn leaves just ROCK. I never appreciated it til I moved to Wyoming and realized that not everyone gets to have the fall colours of the Ozarks. Those damned unlucky sons of bitches. You just don't KNOW until you've seen any random highway in MO on a cool saturday morning, where you get a glimpse of rolling hills covered in really dense, undeveloped deciduous woodland in the fall. I think it should be mandatory for every guy & gal in the world to make a fall field trip on a weekend to Ha Ha Tonka in late autumn. Walk all the trails in the park, kick the shit out of the leaves that are falling on the ground and make pictures of themselves sitting in leaf piles in their flannel shirts and no coats. And then send to me.
THAT ONE YEAR...
One year during college, I went up to some small town in northeast Missouri, in autumn. What's confusing about this is that:
1) I'm not sure what I was doing in MO during autumn-- I should've been at college. Depending on the year, that would've been in either Wyoming, Aus, or Tennessee. So what the FUCK was I doing up in Northeast MO in autumn??
2) I can't remember the name of the town. It's a small town, where there's a small private college by a river.
3) I can't remember what year it was.
4) I went to visit my friend Mike V... it was his college. But what's weird is that me and Mike weren't even THAT close, EVER!?? So what the Hell was I doing driving all the way out to ---?-?--- to visit him for the weekend at college?
5) What did we DO?!?!?! All I remember is being beside a beautiful river, with the nice autumn leaves all around... and something about him being on some stage crew for some play... so we had to move some shit for the set.... or something... I don't remember a single other thing, at ALL. Oh wait, something about one of his professors and some wine in a jug....?!?!?
6) WHAT THE HELL WAS I DOING IN NORTHERN MISSOURI!??!?!
Anyway, in college I'd drive anywhere to do anything for any amount of time. I didnt care how long I h ad to drive, I was a driving machine. I loved the freedom of not having to ask anyone if I could go somethwere. God college was great. Hell I'd drive to Idaho just to eat a potato. Europeans love hearing about driving 12 hours at a time. They just can't picture it. But it's no big deal back home. Whatever.
Upon reflection, I'm thinking it could very possibly have been the autumn I was at University of Memphis and Mike could've promised me the best fall colours in the country via email or something (except I dont remember ever emailing with mike) and I very possibly couldve had a monday/tuesday off or something and just decided to drive up and take him up on his boast. If it were the MISSISSIPPI River I'm remembering, that would make sense-- it could've only been about a 6 hour drive from Memphis. That would make sense. I really have NO idea.
But that was a damn beautiful old Missouri town. So small and quaint. Nice nice nice trees and riverside. BUT WHAT DID I DO THERE??!?
ROWING
Autumn = rowing season. When I was living in Melbourne, I joined the HawthornRowing Club which was on the Yarra River, and my crew used to rown on saturday mornings. At first I was really shitty about this timing, because it meant getting up before 12 on a saturday... NOT COOL. I believe practice was actually at something ridiculous like 9. I tried to get H. to do it with me but he wouldn't hear anything of it becuase he rowed in college for a minute and hated it. So Sandra and Giulio and Aeron came with me instead and we had a great time. Every weekend during the fall, we'd bitch and moan about our hangovers and go down to the rowing shed at 9 in the morning and practice with our extended crew members and listen to crazy Coach Dennis the old british guy tell us how terrible we were.
But the river was amazing in fall. The water was smooth as glass and the trees were changing colour and the air was just cold enough that you could see your breath, but not cold enough that you really needed to bundle up... especially because it was pretty tough work, physically. A nice cup of tea and a muffin really hit the spot after practice. Since the Yarra flows through downtown Melbourne and the really posh inner city suburbs of Kew, Hawthorn, and Richmond, we'd be rowing past the most incredible victorian mansions set up on the hillsides overlooking the river... most of them had their own private boat docks and nearly all of them had these incredible landscaped gardens that were terraced all the way down the hill to the riverside. We'd see rich old people sitting out in their conservatories having their morning coffee and reading the paper, or already getting stuck into the gardening. They'd wave. We'd wave. Coach Dennis would verbally abuse the shit out of us for waving...
Rowing on the Yarra River in autumn, in the morning, you never knew you were in the middle of a city of 3.5million inhabitants... it was so peaceful. And a good workout I must say.
AL FRESCO
Most people get a rush out of finally being able to sit outside and have their coffees on the sidewalk cafes, in springtime and summer. I prefer autumn. I have the best memories of Melbourne in autumn when we would sit out in front of that nice place with the cheese and spinach croissants, on Glenferrie Road. That particular place was in easy walking distance from our house, and on a saturday or sunday --late morning-- we'd sit outside rather than inside, and have the dogs on leashes next to our table. The cappucinos would get cold pretty fast because the weather wasn't exactly warm anymore, so not as many people would want to sit outside, which means we had no problems getting a table anymore. Melbourne cafes can be vicious for seating in the summertime.
I have this memory of Glenferrie Road rather than anywhere else in town, because up at the top of the road, was the train bridge, and there were trees around it which I would be looking at and admiring the leaves, while we would be sitting out there. I just have this fascination with the combination of hot coffee, autumn leaves, relaxing somewhere outside, and fresh air that's cool enough you can see the steam rising from your cup. And scarves. I love scarves. Scarves say AUTUMN to me like nothing else. I don't need winter to wear a scarf oh hell no, I'll wear a scarf without a coat, no problem. Again-- that long sleeves and no-coat combo. AAhhhhh.
We got to Ireland around late summer/early autumn as well. So it was in autumn that we were exploring all the places to drink coffee and sit outside (not NEAR as good as Melbourne, but oh well) that were new to us and would come to be our current stomping gournds. What's weird as that we got here in '02, when there was no smoking ban yet... so there were subsequently no outdoor tables at that stage. Irish people just dont DO outdoor anything. It's just not their THING. So that autumn, we spent a lot of time down at the Hugenot square on Paul Street, getting 5 doughnuts for 1€ at the Gingerbread House + a take-away cup of coffee each, and sitting on the raised planting beds out in front of Tesco. (With the dogs of course) and watching people. It was the only place we could find that was the least bit makeshift-al fresco.
Nowadays, post-smoking ban, every tom dick and harry with an eating/drinking establishment, has tables and chairs out on the sidewalk. It's great. We have so much more to choose from and H. and I can do our late saturday morning people-watching from a much wider range of caffeine-vending establishments. Sweet. Today we went to Nosh, and of course most of these wussbags wouldn't think of sitting outside once the temperature drops below 25C... so we had the best seats on the street. PaulW. was walking by at one point and stopped to chat, ended up sitting down with us and so we had another coffee... the sun was out... it was great.
RUGBY SEASON
My last year at University of Wyoming was my 2nd best year of life ever. Our girls rugby team was kicking ass (well not really, but we were sure drinking a lot. Which means I was ON my ass a lot... sort of similar?) and I made one of my best friends ever that year, KateTheMangler Grimess. Autumn is rugby season and that autumn was all about fun & trouble. I just associate that particular season with Mangler. Shit I can't even remember if we won any games or not that year, but it sas just too fun to capture in words. Trouble, trouble, trouble. We definitely majored in boys & beer that year. THat rugby season was the year of the pith helmet. We would run around all the bars in town with the rest of our team mates, and it was oh so necessary for the two of us to be wearing the obligatory pith helmets. Why? I'm still not sure to this very day. But it was our style and we owned it.
Practices were always awesome in fall. Again, the air was cold enough to see your breath but not cold enough to be miserable. I don't know whyI have this obsession with seeing AIR but that's what I think of. In wyoming autumn only lasts like 5 minutes and then winter takes over, so it's a very short window of time that I can remember being autumn, but it was great. Being that it's my favourite season, I get this massive adreneline rush when I'm doing sports outside in fall, and I seem to run faster, tackle harder, and score more. Go figure. I just dont get that burst of energy any other time of the year. That fall even my parents came out from MO to watch my last game (well, not JUST to watch my last game-- there was some other reason I dont remember) and I stiff-armed this girl in the face, right in front of my dad standing on the sideline. I blitzed past her and nearly scored but got tackled in the most amazing contortion EVER right in front of my dad's feet. It was cool. He had never even seen a rugby game before, and ever since then has had this kind of weird interest in the sport.
And even after my playing days, we still hang out for autumn and rugby season so we can watch the international competition on tv. I've even managed to get Hannes hooked (FINALLY, after living in 3 different rugby countries, where he kept stubbornly objecting to give it a chance).... except it's a shame that he's chosen the Irish as his favourite team to follow, rather than the Springboks like me. We go to a great rugby-oriented pub these days, to watch the games, which is cozy and has a nice fire, and loads of rowdy fans. Good atmosphere all around.
HOT WHISKEY
Speaking of pubs... everyone gets sick in autumn, right? The change in temperature always makes everything and everyone around me catch some sort of virus or illness or something. Normally I'm pretty resiliant, but I still love any sniffle or hint of a sore throat for the sole reason that it's an excuse to drink hot whiskey. And in Ireland there's nothing better than a roaring fire in a pub or at home, in autumn, a scarf around your neck, and a hot whiskey in your hand. My recipe for the best home remedy EVER (it works. No one believes me until they try it. Then they tell me it works. indeed, it works) is the following:
You will need:
1 slice of lemon (orange will also work if you dont have lemon)
5 or 6 cloves
Brown sugar
Irish whiskey (NOT SCOTCH! OK it works if you absolutely positively HAVE to, but... ugh.)
Boiling water.
-Get a nice quality tumbler glass, preferably one that is thick enough you won't burn your hands when you're holding it and it's hot hot hot.
-Put about 1 heaping teaspoon of the brown sugar in the glass.
-Stick the cloves into the slice of lemon, give it a squeeze & drop in glass.
-Pour 1 (generous) shot of whiskey into glass. I use Jameson or Paddy.
-Top up with boiling water, stir and enjoy!
*Optional: go straight to bed & sleep.
I don't care who you are, what ails you or what kind of problem you have, this will cure you. OK it's healing properties work best if you make a really nice strong one and go straight to bed. But if you're not sick, it's just a nice autumn-time drink.
I associate whiskey with autumn because for the last 3 years, we've seemed to make a lot of trips to the distillery (15 away from home!) during fall for some reason. The old Jameson distillery is a great old natural stone building alongside a beautiful wooded stream, which just looks great at this time of year. It's got a nice drinking hall inside it, with a roaring fire and (duh) a good whiskey selection. Here is a photo of us, autumn last year, when Tara and Adam were visiting from Aus:
Sent Today From the MoveOn'ers:
(Just in case anyone out there really is reading this)
I like the part about FEMA and the Arabian Horses.
Not sure what's REALLY going on over there, but from an international standpoint it looks like Monkeybrains and his HooHooWAahaahaa administration are screwing things up again. This means Jill gets to be whipping boy (as if *I* have any control...), and has to take the verbal abuse and be the butt of all anti-W sentiment at the lunch table YET AGAIN. . . Um, as if the last 6 years haven't been hard enough! Ugh.
<>
Like I said, I don't know, all I have to go by besides the brief reports on EuroNews ("Look how stupid the yanks are being, AGAIN") and that god-forsaken devilspawn Fox News ("Look how blessed we are to have Monkeybrains and the HooHooWAahaahaa boyz in charge of fixing things!!") so all I can really go by is my New Orleanean friends and their first hand accounts of everything. Which is pretty much in agreement with the former. As they're stuck, stranded in limbo, 8 hours from their home with (lucky enough) exactly 1 carload of possessions, between the 5 of them.
So anyway, if this is even the smallest bit of help, here goes:
--------------------------
Dear MoveOn member,
In the wake of Hurricane Katrina, it's clear that we're less safe than we thought. Four years after September 11th, the federal government failed to respond to an emergency every bit as dire as a terrorist attack—and it is likely thousands died.
We need an independent Katrina Commission, modeled after the 9/11 Commission, to find out what went wrong. But the White House, working off a "Don't Look Back" strategy, refuses to consider one.(1) Instead, President Bush has suggested that he and his Republican allies in Congress will lead the investigation—a recipe for a cover up.(2)
Will you sign our petition for an independent Katrina Commission?
http://political.moveon.org/katrinacommission/?id=5985-5461190-UC7uiOLAowXU9tcUUkFQIQ&t=4
Senators, including many moderate Republicans, are deciding whether to support a Katrina Commission modeled after the 9/11 Commission, this week. We need a really big number of people to sign the petition to show senators and representatives how much support there is for the Katrina Commission.
President Bush will address the nation about Hurricane Katrina on Thursday.(3) We'll start delivering the petitions to Congress starting Friday morning so senators and representatives will hear what you think the very next day. The goal is to get 250,000 petition signers quickly. So, after you sign the petition please forward this e-mail to your friends, family and colleagues and ask them to sign it too.
Here's why we need a Katrina Commission:
We need to learn from Hurricane Katrina. The scale of the disaster makes it urgent that we learn from mistakes. The government can't investigate itself. That means appointing an independent group of experts to sort through the data.
We need to find the other Michael Browns. Yesterday, FEMA director Michael Brown resigned. Brown had no experience in emergency management—his last job was as the director of the International Arabian Horses Association. And there are many other political appointees like him who could get in the way during a future emergency.
When President Bush investigates his own government, no one is held accountable. When Bush and his allies have led investigations in the past, they've been whitewashes. The WMD Commission, led by Republicans in the Senate, concluded that no one was really to blame for the falsified intelligence about WMDs in Iraq. And the White House was entirely opposed to the 9/11 Commission until victims' families made it a politically impossible position.
The 9/11 Commission is a good model for the Katrina Commission. It was independent, bipartisan and provided all Americans with an honest and frank assessment of what happened on September 11th—they even published the results as a book. Support for the Katrina Commission is growing. New York Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton introduced legislation last week that would establish the one.(4)
Please help demonstrate broad, public support for the Katrina Commission by signing the petition today and then forwarding this e-mail.
http://political.moveon.org/katrinacommission/
It is absolutely urgent that Congress establishes a Katrina Commission to make America safe. Next time it could be an earthquake, a river flood, a tornado, another hurricane or a terrorist attack. Please sign today and then forward this e-mail to your friends, family and colleagues.
Thanks for all you do.
–Tom, Joan, Justin, Jennifer and the MoveOn.org Political Action Team Tuesday, September 13th, 2005
P.S. More information:
1. "Living too much in the bubble?" TIME, Sept. 19, 2005.http://www.moveon.org/r?r=898
2. "Bush says he'll find out what went wrong," Associated Press, Sept. 6, 2005.http://www.moveon.org/r?r=895
3. "Bush to address nation," Reuters, Sept. 13, 2005.http://www.moveon.org/r?r=896
4. Details on the Katrina Commission from Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton.http://www.moveon.org/r?r=897&id=
"Sen. Hillary Clinton Calls for Independent FEMA Probe," ABC News, Sept. 7, 2005.http://www.moveon.org/r?r=877
PAID FOR BY MOVEON.ORG POLITICAL ACTIONNot authorized by any candidate or candidate's committee.
(Just in case anyone out there really is reading this)
I like the part about FEMA and the Arabian Horses.
Not sure what's REALLY going on over there, but from an international standpoint it looks like Monkeybrains and his HooHooWAahaahaa administration are screwing things up again. This means Jill gets to be whipping boy (as if *I* have any control...), and has to take the verbal abuse and be the butt of all anti-W sentiment at the lunch table YET AGAIN. . . Um, as if the last 6 years haven't been hard enough! Ugh.
<
Like I said, I don't know, all I have to go by besides the brief reports on EuroNews ("Look how stupid the yanks are being, AGAIN") and that god-forsaken devilspawn Fox News ("Look how blessed we are to have Monkeybrains and the HooHooWAahaahaa boyz in charge of fixing things!!") so all I can really go by is my New Orleanean friends and their first hand accounts of everything. Which is pretty much in agreement with the former. As they're stuck, stranded in limbo, 8 hours from their home with (lucky enough) exactly 1 carload of possessions, between the 5 of them.
So anyway, if this is even the smallest bit of help, here goes:
--------------------------
Dear MoveOn member,
In the wake of Hurricane Katrina, it's clear that we're less safe than we thought. Four years after September 11th, the federal government failed to respond to an emergency every bit as dire as a terrorist attack—and it is likely thousands died.
We need an independent Katrina Commission, modeled after the 9/11 Commission, to find out what went wrong. But the White House, working off a "Don't Look Back" strategy, refuses to consider one.(1) Instead, President Bush has suggested that he and his Republican allies in Congress will lead the investigation—a recipe for a cover up.(2)
Will you sign our petition for an independent Katrina Commission?
http://political.moveon.org/katrinacommission/?id=5985-5461190-UC7uiOLAowXU9tcUUkFQIQ&t=4
Senators, including many moderate Republicans, are deciding whether to support a Katrina Commission modeled after the 9/11 Commission, this week. We need a really big number of people to sign the petition to show senators and representatives how much support there is for the Katrina Commission.
President Bush will address the nation about Hurricane Katrina on Thursday.(3) We'll start delivering the petitions to Congress starting Friday morning so senators and representatives will hear what you think the very next day. The goal is to get 250,000 petition signers quickly. So, after you sign the petition please forward this e-mail to your friends, family and colleagues and ask them to sign it too.
Here's why we need a Katrina Commission:
We need to learn from Hurricane Katrina. The scale of the disaster makes it urgent that we learn from mistakes. The government can't investigate itself. That means appointing an independent group of experts to sort through the data.
We need to find the other Michael Browns. Yesterday, FEMA director Michael Brown resigned. Brown had no experience in emergency management—his last job was as the director of the International Arabian Horses Association. And there are many other political appointees like him who could get in the way during a future emergency.
When President Bush investigates his own government, no one is held accountable. When Bush and his allies have led investigations in the past, they've been whitewashes. The WMD Commission, led by Republicans in the Senate, concluded that no one was really to blame for the falsified intelligence about WMDs in Iraq. And the White House was entirely opposed to the 9/11 Commission until victims' families made it a politically impossible position.
The 9/11 Commission is a good model for the Katrina Commission. It was independent, bipartisan and provided all Americans with an honest and frank assessment of what happened on September 11th—they even published the results as a book. Support for the Katrina Commission is growing. New York Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton introduced legislation last week that would establish the one.(4)
Please help demonstrate broad, public support for the Katrina Commission by signing the petition today and then forwarding this e-mail.
http://political.moveon.org/katrinacommission/
It is absolutely urgent that Congress establishes a Katrina Commission to make America safe. Next time it could be an earthquake, a river flood, a tornado, another hurricane or a terrorist attack. Please sign today and then forward this e-mail to your friends, family and colleagues.
Thanks for all you do.
–Tom, Joan, Justin, Jennifer and the MoveOn.org Political Action Team Tuesday, September 13th, 2005
P.S. More information:
1. "Living too much in the bubble?" TIME, Sept. 19, 2005.http://www.moveon.org/r?r=898
2. "Bush says he'll find out what went wrong," Associated Press, Sept. 6, 2005.http://www.moveon.org/r?r=895
3. "Bush to address nation," Reuters, Sept. 13, 2005.http://www.moveon.org/r?r=896
4. Details on the Katrina Commission from Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton.http://www.moveon.org/r?r=897&id=
"Sen. Hillary Clinton Calls for Independent FEMA Probe," ABC News, Sept. 7, 2005.http://www.moveon.org/r?r=877
PAID FOR BY MOVEON.ORG POLITICAL ACTIONNot authorized by any candidate or candidate's committee.
Fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkk I am too busy
I am staying at work til ridiculous hours of the night like 9.... in fact I would be there right now but I have yoga tonight and so I had 1 hour to come home, change and then i decided to check my email for like the first time in AGES and I was left with about 20 minutes so I thought I'd make an entry about how busy I am and how much it sucks.
Work has well and truly got me by the balls. I have so many projects going on simultaneously that I'm only accomplishing little bits and pieces of a large quantity of projects. Not actually FINISHING any one thing. Plus then there's the regular interruptions, phone calls, PAULW., coffee breaks, BLADDER, questions, printers breaking down. . . ugh. THe only time I can get any work done is after 5:30 when half the office empties and those distractions are whittled down by half.
Tomorrow I have to go to a meeting in Dublin and I elected to take the train, rather than the commuter flight or drive, SO I CAN ACTUALLY HAVE 3 UNINTERRUPTED HOURS TO WORK, each way. THATS 6 WHOLE HOURS!!! to myself to actually try and finish this damn shannon bridge report and these damn N6 drawings. I even booked a 1st class carriage so I could have a seat to myself and not risk possibly not being able to work comfortably!!!
This is bogus, man.
I'll probably fall asleep because I'm so damn tired.
I FUCKIN BETTER NOT
It makes me 2nd guess my ability to be a manager and be responsible for others, because I see the way I've just sort of pushed PW off to the side and had to just HOPE that he's doing his shit right, and other people's stuff? Not a clue. Because hell, even I cant manage to get my own organized enough to finish shit on time without bringing things home on sundays and staying at work til 9pm.
But then again, whatever. Consulting is all about peaks and valleys and now we're in a peak, after I get back from holidays in Oct. it'll probably be a valley and I'll be bored. No need to moan and whine.
I'M JUST SO DAMN BUSY!!!
And then I get stressed and I dont send the husband very many messages during the day and I'm not relaxed when I get home and then I get shitty and subsequently get the bad wife award for the year. bad bad bad.
But at least we're managing our new exercise regimen of early morning walking every day. I didnt think we could keep it up but its going on 2 wks now. awesome. and the puppies are damn pleased about that let me tell you.
HAHA I wont even be WORKING HERE in a year's time. woo hoo! what am I worried about!?!!?!? (although I'm glad I have a decent work ethic and actually give a shit about what I do...)
ugh, am I making any SENSE? THis is exactly how my brain works these days... out of control!!!
I start singing really bad made up songs at about 6 pm these days. And I insert the words "shrubs" and "woodland planting" into every song. sweet.
I am SO not efficient under pressure.
YOGA!
NOW!
GO!
I am staying at work til ridiculous hours of the night like 9.... in fact I would be there right now but I have yoga tonight and so I had 1 hour to come home, change and then i decided to check my email for like the first time in AGES and I was left with about 20 minutes so I thought I'd make an entry about how busy I am and how much it sucks.
Work has well and truly got me by the balls. I have so many projects going on simultaneously that I'm only accomplishing little bits and pieces of a large quantity of projects. Not actually FINISHING any one thing. Plus then there's the regular interruptions, phone calls, PAULW., coffee breaks, BLADDER, questions, printers breaking down. . . ugh. THe only time I can get any work done is after 5:30 when half the office empties and those distractions are whittled down by half.
Tomorrow I have to go to a meeting in Dublin and I elected to take the train, rather than the commuter flight or drive, SO I CAN ACTUALLY HAVE 3 UNINTERRUPTED HOURS TO WORK, each way. THATS 6 WHOLE HOURS!!! to myself to actually try and finish this damn shannon bridge report and these damn N6 drawings. I even booked a 1st class carriage so I could have a seat to myself and not risk possibly not being able to work comfortably!!!
This is bogus, man.
I'll probably fall asleep because I'm so damn tired.
I FUCKIN BETTER NOT
It makes me 2nd guess my ability to be a manager and be responsible for others, because I see the way I've just sort of pushed PW off to the side and had to just HOPE that he's doing his shit right, and other people's stuff? Not a clue. Because hell, even I cant manage to get my own organized enough to finish shit on time without bringing things home on sundays and staying at work til 9pm.
But then again, whatever. Consulting is all about peaks and valleys and now we're in a peak, after I get back from holidays in Oct. it'll probably be a valley and I'll be bored. No need to moan and whine.
I'M JUST SO DAMN BUSY!!!
And then I get stressed and I dont send the husband very many messages during the day and I'm not relaxed when I get home and then I get shitty and subsequently get the bad wife award for the year. bad bad bad.
But at least we're managing our new exercise regimen of early morning walking every day. I didnt think we could keep it up but its going on 2 wks now. awesome. and the puppies are damn pleased about that let me tell you.
HAHA I wont even be WORKING HERE in a year's time. woo hoo! what am I worried about!?!!?!? (although I'm glad I have a decent work ethic and actually give a shit about what I do...)
ugh, am I making any SENSE? THis is exactly how my brain works these days... out of control!!!
I start singing really bad made up songs at about 6 pm these days. And I insert the words "shrubs" and "woodland planting" into every song. sweet.
I am SO not efficient under pressure.
YOGA!
NOW!
GO!
I forgot what I was going to write about. Balls-diggity balls! Fo shizzle. Feckaleckalecka. I was laying in bed thinking "dont forget to . . . " ugh.
Right. First thing that comes to my head then.
Dead grandma.
Oooooookeee then. Today it is exactly 5 years and 1 week since Grandma H. died. I remember this date because I really actually liked Grandma H. so much, and she was the first person to ever die, who I cared about. I guess I don't really have to write too much of the details about the day I got the news from home because that was actually in the 1 salvaged journal from the South Africa days. Lucky me!
I loved grandma H. because she wasn't a manipulative cow. Most people I know have 1 set of grandparents who they like more than the others. Isn't that so weird? I mean people (well, my parents anyway) wax on and on about the unconditional love of family, the literal communisim of family love, and the abscense of favoritism here and there when it comes to BLOOD and wah wha wha wha... that's all hogwash and dreamland. I know people who have favorite kids, favorite parents, and oh HELL yeah favorite grandparents. Anyway, what I mean is it's weird because most people I know have a favorite grandparent set, or at least a favorite grandparent. (Let this be a lesson to anyone who thinks that kids HAVE to love them, just because they're a blood relative)
H and I have the exact same situation re: our granp's. We both liked the paternal ones best. And of course my favorite set AND his favorite set are dead now, but the other set is both still alive. Cruel. However, where our situations differ is the reason we liked 'em. He liked "the spoilers", I liked the "non-spoilers". That is so weird. I'd figure most kids would go for the spoilers... the candy givers, the buy-buy-buyers, the chocolate-cake-for-breakfasters. I have to admit, this is how I used to lean when I was a kid. I used to be annoyed when I got sent to Wichita to the H's for 2 weeks every summer. But I would lap it up when I got sent to the spoilers. Why? Because at the H's, they made me go to ZOO SCHOOL (at the zoo, duh) during my summer holiday, and I mean COME ON WHO WANTS TO GO TO ANYTHING CALLED SCHOOL DURING THE SUMMER.... (jeezus I was a selfish idiot BASTARD when I was 10!!! I'd kill for a good lashing of Zoo School these days). They didnt have an unlimited supply of Oreos in the house, only 4 channels on their TV, only went out for pizza once a week, had to eat hommade breakfast casserole with (ugh) eggs, cheese, bacon, and all sorts of gross shit in it, plus we'd only get 1 or 2 cups of koolaid per day, there was NEVER an endless supply of every soda variety known to man in the garage.... oh yeah, and Granddaddy would always make me go with him to help out with his WichitaGeneologyCentre restoration project ("the old house" as we called it) in downtown-- where he & a tiny team of "older" volunteers took at least 5 years of their personal time & resources to restore an old historic house, to be used as the Geneological research centre, literally brick by brick. Again, COME ON WHAT 10 YEAR OLD WANTS TO SPACKLE AND PAINT AN OLD DUMP DURING THE SUMMER??? (I was a downright piece of shit, I know)
Gawd, they always wanted to play brain-games like scrabble, solitaire, boggle, and upwords. They wanted me to PLAY. OUTSIDE. and WALK to the PARK. ugh.
The spoilers let me& Jeff sit in front of the box, in the a/c, let me gain 10 kg per summer, took me to Worlds of Fun. Then Oceans of Fun the next day, where we complained about not getting enough soda and cheap plastic gimmicky toys, and proceeded to then get more. We went shopping for clothes, or purses, or stuffed animals, whatever we wanted. And then got Ice Cream on the way home. with WHATEVER on top. And then back home to the a/c and the cable tv and the neverending stockpile of 30 varieties of soda in the garage.
Sounds great. But the reality is the following:
Spoilers: The same g'ma who later told me when I was 16 "If you really love your grandma you'll take that down off your wall" (my beloved Grateful Dead poster). And is textbook passive-agressive. And who told me once when I was 5, and she caught me wincing when I had to kiss her stinky old-person cheek goodnight, "someday you might not have a grandma to give you a goodnight kiss anymore!" And the one who tells my mom every single thing I say to her. And advises said mother that her daughter should be more helpful around the house, as it 'twas in her day... Who told me I shouldn't go to Tanzania when I got my grad-school grant, because it was too dangerous and I wouldnt be safe, besides I shouldn't do that to my parents. Counts the exact number of days between me receiving a card with a check enclosed, and them receiving a thank-you note. And who passive-aggressively gives me the guilts for not calling/writing enough to this day. And believes everything that comes out of every Fox News reporter's mouth.
Non-Spoilers:
Would ask me my likes and dislikes about school, life, friends, world issues. Taught me the value of putting effort into tracing your family geneolgy. Voted democrat. Acted interested when I turned adolescent and started immersing myself in rock music, literature. Encouraged me to follow The Band around the country when I was 20, because it was the time of my life for doing stuff like that. Kept every secret I ever divulged. Including the one about the 37-year old-boyfriend. Told me I should definitely try and make the effort to work in a trip to Niagra Falls with my friends, when we were up in New York following our favorite band from show to show. Would ask about what kinds of music I was listening to on my headphones (which never came off my head-- but they were cool with that). Told me they were proud of me when I moved to Australia and South Africa. Wrote me loads of hand-written letters (no money enclosed) which asked questions and gave interesting updates on things going on in the family, their life, etc. Didnt make me kiss anyone on any cheek, and weren't offended when that included them. Most definitely gave me the space I needed to grow up and get my head screwed on right.
All I can say is it took 17 or so -years to figure it out, but kids aren't dumb. You can spoil them rotten when they're young, but they don't stay naive forever. They're gonna figure it out one day and everybody can tell quality from crap by the time they hit 16 or 17.
Man, and to think, I got to go to ZOO SCHOOL! That's just damn cool. What I regret is that I probably scowled all the way there, in the car. Probably rolled my eyes a few times too. But Grandma H. just let me scowl, dropped me off at the zoo, every day-- I don't know, maybe she knew I'd figure out the value of all that shit, for myself, later on. She was one patient ol' gal.
Right. First thing that comes to my head then.
Dead grandma.
Oooooookeee then. Today it is exactly 5 years and 1 week since Grandma H. died. I remember this date because I really actually liked Grandma H. so much, and she was the first person to ever die, who I cared about. I guess I don't really have to write too much of the details about the day I got the news from home because that was actually in the 1 salvaged journal from the South Africa days. Lucky me!
I loved grandma H. because she wasn't a manipulative cow. Most people I know have 1 set of grandparents who they like more than the others. Isn't that so weird? I mean people (well, my parents anyway) wax on and on about the unconditional love of family, the literal communisim of family love, and the abscense of favoritism here and there when it comes to BLOOD and wah wha wha wha... that's all hogwash and dreamland. I know people who have favorite kids, favorite parents, and oh HELL yeah favorite grandparents. Anyway, what I mean is it's weird because most people I know have a favorite grandparent set, or at least a favorite grandparent. (Let this be a lesson to anyone who thinks that kids HAVE to love them, just because they're a blood relative)
H and I have the exact same situation re: our granp's. We both liked the paternal ones best. And of course my favorite set AND his favorite set are dead now, but the other set is both still alive. Cruel. However, where our situations differ is the reason we liked 'em. He liked "the spoilers", I liked the "non-spoilers". That is so weird. I'd figure most kids would go for the spoilers... the candy givers, the buy-buy-buyers, the chocolate-cake-for-breakfasters. I have to admit, this is how I used to lean when I was a kid. I used to be annoyed when I got sent to Wichita to the H's for 2 weeks every summer. But I would lap it up when I got sent to the spoilers. Why? Because at the H's, they made me go to ZOO SCHOOL (at the zoo, duh) during my summer holiday, and I mean COME ON WHO WANTS TO GO TO ANYTHING CALLED SCHOOL DURING THE SUMMER.... (jeezus I was a selfish idiot BASTARD when I was 10!!! I'd kill for a good lashing of Zoo School these days). They didnt have an unlimited supply of Oreos in the house, only 4 channels on their TV, only went out for pizza once a week, had to eat hommade breakfast casserole with (ugh) eggs, cheese, bacon, and all sorts of gross shit in it, plus we'd only get 1 or 2 cups of koolaid per day, there was NEVER an endless supply of every soda variety known to man in the garage.... oh yeah, and Granddaddy would always make me go with him to help out with his WichitaGeneologyCentre restoration project ("the old house" as we called it) in downtown-- where he & a tiny team of "older" volunteers took at least 5 years of their personal time & resources to restore an old historic house, to be used as the Geneological research centre, literally brick by brick. Again, COME ON WHAT 10 YEAR OLD WANTS TO SPACKLE AND PAINT AN OLD DUMP DURING THE SUMMER??? (I was a downright piece of shit, I know)
Gawd, they always wanted to play brain-games like scrabble, solitaire, boggle, and upwords. They wanted me to PLAY. OUTSIDE. and WALK to the PARK. ugh.
The spoilers let me& Jeff sit in front of the box, in the a/c, let me gain 10 kg per summer, took me to Worlds of Fun. Then Oceans of Fun the next day, where we complained about not getting enough soda and cheap plastic gimmicky toys, and proceeded to then get more. We went shopping for clothes, or purses, or stuffed animals, whatever we wanted. And then got Ice Cream on the way home. with WHATEVER on top. And then back home to the a/c and the cable tv and the neverending stockpile of 30 varieties of soda in the garage.
Sounds great. But the reality is the following:
Spoilers: The same g'ma who later told me when I was 16 "If you really love your grandma you'll take that down off your wall" (my beloved Grateful Dead poster). And is textbook passive-agressive. And who told me once when I was 5, and she caught me wincing when I had to kiss her stinky old-person cheek goodnight, "someday you might not have a grandma to give you a goodnight kiss anymore!" And the one who tells my mom every single thing I say to her. And advises said mother that her daughter should be more helpful around the house, as it 'twas in her day... Who told me I shouldn't go to Tanzania when I got my grad-school grant, because it was too dangerous and I wouldnt be safe, besides I shouldn't do that to my parents. Counts the exact number of days between me receiving a card with a check enclosed, and them receiving a thank-you note. And who passive-aggressively gives me the guilts for not calling/writing enough to this day. And believes everything that comes out of every Fox News reporter's mouth.
Non-Spoilers:
Would ask me my likes and dislikes about school, life, friends, world issues. Taught me the value of putting effort into tracing your family geneolgy. Voted democrat. Acted interested when I turned adolescent and started immersing myself in rock music, literature. Encouraged me to follow The Band around the country when I was 20, because it was the time of my life for doing stuff like that. Kept every secret I ever divulged. Including the one about the 37-year old-boyfriend. Told me I should definitely try and make the effort to work in a trip to Niagra Falls with my friends, when we were up in New York following our favorite band from show to show. Would ask about what kinds of music I was listening to on my headphones (which never came off my head-- but they were cool with that). Told me they were proud of me when I moved to Australia and South Africa. Wrote me loads of hand-written letters (no money enclosed) which asked questions and gave interesting updates on things going on in the family, their life, etc. Didnt make me kiss anyone on any cheek, and weren't offended when that included them. Most definitely gave me the space I needed to grow up and get my head screwed on right.
All I can say is it took 17 or so -years to figure it out, but kids aren't dumb. You can spoil them rotten when they're young, but they don't stay naive forever. They're gonna figure it out one day and everybody can tell quality from crap by the time they hit 16 or 17.
Man, and to think, I got to go to ZOO SCHOOL! That's just damn cool. What I regret is that I probably scowled all the way there, in the car. Probably rolled my eyes a few times too. But Grandma H. just let me scowl, dropped me off at the zoo, every day-- I don't know, maybe she knew I'd figure out the value of all that shit, for myself, later on. She was one patient ol' gal.
