My Year of Meaningful (2011)

It is crazy around here!!

I can't believe we're leaving on Saturday and there's still so much to do!
Work is crazy, organizing is crazy, it's all crazy! Crazy town over here!

I sent off my re-worked draft of my HORRIBLE thesis proposal which I feel HORRIBLE about because it is RUBBISH, but hey at least it's getting it off MY desk and into that HORRIBLE professor's. Ugh. I have a truly stinking, sinking feeling about this.

But anyway! I am outta here! On saturday morning we drive down to Jozi and hop on the ol' jet plane to Sydney. I got us a sweet deal on a hotel in a primo location for our one night in Sydney, have organized the long-awaited reunion with long-lost Botswana BFF Ubs, and logisti-fied everything with S&M for the next few days in Newcastle.

Then it's on to Darwin, a new pin in my map, for a few days with long-lost Aussie BFFs T&A (whose wedding we missed because of the Namibian Nonsense of Oh-Nine), then down to our old hometown in Melbyville for other long-lost Aussie BFF time with the H's and Fay & Bronnie and who knows what else.

Then home. Whirlwind, but necessary. I am looking really forward to it! AND I just started the new Dan Brown book, AND I'm gonna be surrounded by babysitters AND brining my running shoes which I will put to good use now that my ankle is better so that I can work off all the decadent FOOD AND WINE that we will be consuming for 2 weeks straight! WOO HOO!

Also good news in the doggy dpt, as The Rock (who was critically bitten by the spitting cobra he saved me from the other night right here on my veranda) is almost out of the woods, having been on a drip for the whole of the last day and a half. They just need to try giving him some food and then observe that his liver doesnt fail. Then the poor thing goes into kennels for 2 weeks, but at least that means on-site vet observation and controlled environment, so I'm not getting too up in arms about it. Honestly I'm just surprised he still has his sight, after all that venom spraying in his face. We think he was bitten on the tounge when "the near-fatal bite" occurred. I am so lucky my boy is so big and strong and pulled through this!!

Anyhoo, next blog will be from the ROAD! Wayheyyyy!

There is something to be said for "killing 'em with kindness", I reckon. If the first 3 months of 2010 have taught me anything, it's slowly coming to this.


So after telling Adelly that her most recent encounter with an unreasonable cow (not too far off in nature from my unreasonable cow in the Aus high commission) would've been far more 2010 if it had involved pretending said cow didn't exist rather than reacting and wasting her breath, blood pressure, and time of day, it got me thinking - MAN I've changed! WTF!! But I feel it's for the better - if nothing else, my new shock tactic of remaining mindful and turning the other cheek when necessary, (not because I LIKE TO, but more because it's so new and different that it's almost like going out of the house in disguise or something) has really taken a lot of my typical nemeses by surprise and left them corn-fused and slack-jawed and I'll be damned if that isn't just a wee bit of a cherry on top of the personal improvement!

My point here is that the results are back in - LJJ's passport arrived WITH Aussie visa neatly pasted inside, so even if I second, third, and fourth-guessed myself about ripping Mrs. Nasty Nosey Cow in Visitors' Visas a new arse-hole, it turns out that the few-deep-breaths option won out over the protest option. And everybody wins, because I'm STILL going to write that nasty-ass letter when we get back and they can't do anything to me anymore. On top of that, Mr. Arrogant-Doesnt-Like-My-Research Professor got a confounding email from me (after he wrote me some horribly rude email about how I need to "just get on with it" and stop being so needy! Shock! Horror!) where *I* actually apologized for bothering him and all sorts of really nice stuff that I'm sure made him go "HUH?! WTF?!", because I immediately got a really kiss-ass response back from him that you would've thought was coming from my biggest fan. I rubbed my hands together and laughed. It's almost entertaining. Although the initial blow-to-the-ego part is still difficult. But really - Patience. Virtue. Kill with kindness. All that stuff. It's entertaining if nothing else.

Anyhoo, I haven't had the time to do crap lately because I've got the pedal to the metal in terms of getting this draft of my Stage 1 Thesis development in, prior to us leaving. That and I gotta finish up MY LAST MAGAZINE for the Animal Peeps as editor HOT DIGGITY!! Before we leave too.

And we leave Saturday.

And boy am I excited!!! Just wish me luck that LJJ hangs in there and doesnt let the jetlag turn her into a baby monster. I can't believe it will be her 1st birthday while we are away. She doesn't seem BIG enough to be 1, but hey, them's the facts, Jack. She was hanging out with a 9-month old the other day at her play group and I swear he dwarfed her. Well, he *was* a sturdy old breast-fed German boy, I guess. But still, even our Ecologist at work's 5-month old is bigger than her. dude. talk about taking after your mamma!

Right, so as far as trip plans, my activities are as follows, for the remainder of the week:

• Book Sydney hotel, going for the highest amount of stars for the lowest price in the CBD by strategically stalking lastminute.com
• Figure out how to pack for 2 weeks and about 3 different seasons in nothing but 1 backpack (I am determined to go lighter or at least as-light as Cape Town - wish me luck)
• Submit draft to Prof. Jackass
• Wrap up particular work issue that has been dangling
• Hand over my Grand Mattress duties to the Assistant GM
• Lose 1kg

Now I have to stop writing because I gots to get on the shizzle.

Labels: The spirit of 2010, trip planning

Robert Earl Keen has a song about "It's the Little Things"... where he basically lists all these little things that really piss him off (and then the song cumulates with him singing ".... that piss me off!") and it has been in my head all weekend but not because I'm pissed off (thankfully) but more because I'm just paying more attention to the good little things now. And as I am learning, lots of little good things = 1 big good thing, namely, being in a good mood and happy with the way the stream is flowing in general.

Friday started out with a pleasant surprise whereby it was my day to work from home and lo and behold my internet connection was actually working (!!!) enough for me to have a nice catchup chat with El Steve-o in Aus for a wee bit. As if that wasn't fantastic enough, Brandon called me in the evening so I got to virtually finish off my day with the same surprise it started with! I really dig friday chit chat, I think. Especially that of the long-distance variety. It just lifts the spirits after a whole week of work and pressure and all that crap. And starts the weekend off great, especially if there's mucho humor therapy fodder involved. Which, whenever I talk to Brandon I can be assured of. Unless, of course, I have to give him a Spirit of 2010 tounge-lashing... but he's been fairly good at behaving himself lately so that's good (for him!) HA!

I made a pretty good effort at Dorado with sherry sauce and a couscous salad which was delightful, as was the Sauvignon Blanc that I selected to accompany it. Then I did something which pretty much sums up what kind of happy "little thing" I'm talking about that can really add up to a hoot of a good time.... I spent the entirity of Friday night playing the iPhone version of Pictionary against Jéan (in Scotland) and pissing myself in hysterics because not only does Pictionary crack me up in general, try playing it in real time on your smartphone against your friend half a world away and that combined with the game-screen banter is enough to send the dudes with the white coats after you. Totally lame and geek-worthy but OMG side-splitting fun!

Anyhoo, then on Saturday I helped The Mr. do his first installment of Hash Brew Shopping (now as the Braumeister he is responsible for buying all the drinks for the hash) and that was quite hecktic considering we're down about 2,000 bucks worth of booze and non-booze after having our stash confiscated by the fuzz last week. You know that when you're trying to save an organization a few bills, you gotta do some comparison-shopping. Our endeavors took us then to at least 3 "headache houses" (as my grandmother would call the bottle shop) before we finally had the shopping list beat. This challenge was not full of little things to make one tickled pink or anything, but the way that the saturday morning started out was: sleeping late and coffee in bed and BINGO that's enough for me these days.

Then sunday again, wee surprises: Phone call from Soo & Mx saying come join us for brunch at the Garden Centre restaurant, which we did, had a great time.... then a pretty relaxing afternoon at home including The Mr. & I tweaking the vegetable garden (since there was no electricity) and a swim with LJJ. Then we went to set out today's hash (it's our week to be hares and given the extreme kerfuffle that last week's incurred, it had to be GOOD) and lo and behold we discovered a fantastic tiny little miniature Indian Restaurant that we never knew existed, and naturally snagged some takeaway from there for dinner. Bonus being that it is pretty close to where we live.... which NOTHING is. And finally finished the weekend off with a 2hr call with my beloved Podgey Pie in Vancouver which was not only long over due but definitely a fine end to a pretty all-round decent weekend. With no major amazements, but lots of little things that added up to . . . . FANTASTICO!!!!

Now if I could just get this *$%#! thesis debacle sorted out - it's the only thing that is really weighing negatively on my mind at the moment. Everything else seems to be pretty smooth sailing. Oh yes, and LJJs Australian visa.... and getting advertisers for my last Animal Peeps magazine... marching on!

So basically I'm down in the dumps today because

a) I'm exhausted
b) I haven't had any humor therapy in weeks
c) My tutor hates my thesis proposal (thanks for telling me 1 week before I'm supposed to hand in a pre-draft)
d) I'm behind on work
e) I'm behind on my last ditch effort at Animal Peeps magazine
f) I haven't been to the gym in weeks thanks to tendonitis

However, at least the cops haven't come after me.

"The COPS?" you ask.... "Why would the cops come after you?" Well! Allow me to explain!

So it's my birthday, and we're at the hash, and it turns into a first-class SNAFU and general adventure into WTF-Land. First of all, the hares of the day set a horrible trail, which resulted in the absolute worst-case-Hash-scenario of the sun going down so that the trail can't be seen and people getting lost. There's Major Feckup 1.

Enter Major Feckup 2. Said lost people leave angry, once they get "un-lost". All this on my watch as Grand Mattress. Nobody blaming me, however, since I wasn't the hare for the day. Whew.

On to Major Feckup 3. Said run had been set from the start point of empty public car park. Making our after-run socializing just a wee bit illegally located. Now, mind you, this is a commonplace and everyday occurrence with the Hash (most of our runs are set from public places), not to mention the fact that half of G-city is ALWAYS, WITHOUT FAIL, 100% of the time, creating general drunken chaos out on the streets and public spaces of the city until the wee hours of the morning, and generally disturb the peace at all costs. What *we* do is have one bottle of water or a light beer and some social chatter, and go home. So naturally you can understand why 30 cops roll up in about 10 vehicles and bust us before any drinks are even consumed???? NOT! Whatever. I'm not one to condone breaking the law, and yes, we were in an abandoned parking lot - technically public space. So whatever. What gets the RETARDO OF THE YEAR award however, is that they rolled up, confiscated our very expensive coolerboxes full of soft drinks, water, and beer, and "asked" everyone to come down to the cop shop. And I am not sarcastically using the word "asked". Literally. ASKED. So obviously as part of the Mismanagement team, The Mr. and I decided (felt obligated) that we better accompany the 10 or so devout members that decided to round up a posse and head down to the cop shop to get our cooler boxes back. Obviously no one was concerned about getting the book thrown at us BECAUSE NO ONE HAD EVEN BEGUN DRINKING YET when the fuzz arrived! Therefore obviously no one could get in trouble for drinking. (In BW law, it is not illegal to have a coolerbox full of beer sitting out in a parking lot. The illegal part is when you drink it. If these fools were at least 10% smart they would've at least waited til someone cracked a damn beer open! Nevermind the fact that 10metres away there was some sort of drunken brawl going on in another parking lot between CLEARLY DRUNKEN, BEER-DRINKING LOCAL GUYS). Whatever. Knowing we were all 100% innocent, a gaggle of us decided there was a better chance of getting our stuff back if a large number of us showed up at the cop shop OF OUR OWN VOILITION to sort the shizzle out.

Not to be. They wanted our personal details (why?) and wanted us to all sign guilty forms (why?) and wanted us to all cooperate in a full-scale investigation (of WHAT?) blah blah blah. Obviously none of us were going to do that crap, and spent the rest of the night in the station arguing with people who didn't have a damn clue about the law or how to do their copping. What they WANTED was to bust a bunch of white folk and confiscate a bunch of drinks so they could have a full blown piss-up after they knocked off for the evening. Welcome to the 3rd world. Feckers.

Finally we all just gave them some random personal info (you can guess yourself if any of it was factual or not) and signed a bunch of benign crap and left. Happy freakin b-day to me! Not to mention I've got LJJ here the whole time and now it's what - 2 hours past her bedtime? And a freakin wet diaper? Anyway. Apparently no one has been followed up on, to date, so I guess someone from the actual super-ranks finally talked some sense into the 14-year-old officers in question the next day. What I imagine went something like "was anyone ACTUALLY drinking?" and "do you have any PROOF?" and "you realize there are robberies and domestic assaults going on right now?" or whatever to that effect, and hopefully that's the end of it.

Freakin circus.

In other (positive) news, I didn't hear anything else from the Australian Immigration Nazis, which I take as a good sign that LJJ will most likely get her 2-week-visitors visa. Simple friggin pleasures, like.

Labels: HHH, school

Well!

I got my house back, after a week with the 'rents that was just so non-stop and full on that I didn't have a chance to breathe. Although I did have the opportunity to gain a whole 1.5kg.... NOT HAPPY.

It was a pretty decent trip as far as the parental unit and I go. No fights, no yelling, no pouting or storming off on anyone's part. Which is always an achievement in itself. Only one incident that had the potential to go pear-shaped, but I sucked it up and moved along albeit begrudgingly. And of COURSE it was the most typical, had-to-happen-sometime token induction into the world of grandmother/mother relations... basically, I had my own idea of what LJJs grandfather would be called, and so did Her Royal Highness The Matriarch. But rather than coming right out and saying: "we all know it's ALL ABOUT ME, so therefore I would like him to be referred to as 'Grandpa'", I had to OVERHEAR her bullying Grandpa into submission regarding what HE SHALL BE REFERRED TO AS, period. Obviously Gramps the ever-diplomatic voice of reason put up his best rebuttal ("but...." The End.) and I (boiling over on the inside) broke in and called the spade a spade (bullying) in a reasonable and polite tone, and was dually informed that thanks to my *%&$! INLAWS getting to choose what they would be called by the grandkid (The Mr. was naive enough to explain that we had no choice in the matter), that she too would be in charge of making the decision for both of the Maternal grandparents.

Ah-ha, Touché, madre, touché.

But aside from that particular brush with anger and spite, it was a success all around. Everyone behaved, we took them Hashing on Monday (where they got to witness their daughter being installed as Grand Matress), The Mr. and I celebrated our anniversary on the Tuesday with the 'rents and our new Belgian friends C&H from the 'hood, with a big braai and drinks in the garden.... the grandparental bonding with the youngling was a success.... many presents were given (and to my amazement all in compliance with my '1 toy rule').... much love was spread around, etc etc. I even got the first "with-family" b-day celebration I've had since I was a teen living at home, complete with cake, brandy alexanders, and my choice of homecooked dinner. I took my pops up to my work site in the North on friday as his early father's day present, so he could do some exotic-location birding while I worked, and he kept carrying on about how it was the best gift anyone ever got him. So all in all, yes, a success.

Saturday, we exhaustedly put them on a plane, and came home and crashed. Boy my parents are high-energy. I keep forgetting that. They're all-singing, all-dancing, all-talking, all-enquiring, all-doing folks. Dad is up at 5am every day, wandering the neighbourhood, binoculars pasted to his eyeballs.... mom is constantly conversing.... dad is asking to get dropped off at the sewerage ponds for a wee day trip.... mom is pleading to take you shopping.... dad wants to clean the pool, mom wants to check out the local schools, both want to get adequate exercise in their daily agenda, and wouldn't we please like to join them? etc etc etc.... crikey! It's like going from the sublime to the ridiculous when you compare the inlaws and the outlaws in this family. The Mr's rents just want to sit around all day and stare off into space while drinking beer.

Anyway. This whole birthday thing has been seriously extensive now. Having the family 'do on Friday, then yesterday getting my first present from The Mr. (a piano! a dream come true! but more on that later...), going out for dinner with C&H and the Swedes to celebrate last night, and now today (the actual day) having a nice lunch with The Mr. and I'm sure plenty of drinks with the Hashers tonight.

OMG chalk one up for LJJ in the "firsts" department - last night - and it isn't a goodie. Baby's first embarassing public explosion. The worst. The biggest nightmare ever. OK so she's teething at the moment and basically decided that last night, at the restaurant with our mates, would be the night she would absolutely lose the plot and morph into Monster Baby for one and all to see. Cry, cry, cry. High maintenence. Didn't want to sit. Didn't want to be held. Didn't want to eat. Didn't want to drink. Didn't want NUTTIN. aggghhhh!!! And to top it all off, when we were finally driving home with C&H in the car, she decided to do the whole blood-curdling scream thing (which honestly I had never even HEARD before)... I wanted to die! I told her she would be promptly sold on the street for 10 Pula as soon as we got home. OK I know in the Spirit of 2010 I should be saying well, at least there was no one else in the restaurant besides us, and yeah, we're blessed that this is the only time this happened, and true, C&H are some truly chilled out Belgians without a care in the world about this stuff.... but DANG!!! I even woke up today going "You. Monster. Doghouse." Serenity now, serenity now.

And further in The Kid Files.... get this! BOY AM I CHEESED OFF ABOUT THIS ONE.
(These people should really not screw with me on my birthday like this)
So I get this email from the Aussie HIGH (cuz that's what they must be - on CRACK) Commission stating that they have received our application for LJJs visa. Now could I please provide them with copies of
1. Me & the MR.'s passport
2. Her birth cert "with your names on it" (like what? her bc with Elmo and Big Bird's name on it?)
3. Me & the Mr's visas.
4. Me & the Mr's return tickets (copies).

So I send them.

Now I get an email. And this is NOT the cliff's notes version. This is 100%:

"Dear Oh Wayward One.

Can you provide copies of the adoption papers.

Ms. Offensive Assuming Cow."

Can you believe this crap!?!? I don't know what I'm more pissed about - the fact that her BC has our names on it and yet this PERSON has just ASSUMED that there are 'adoption papers', or the fact that this is 99.9% surely based on the fact that our black & white passport photos look... exactly that. Black & white. COME ON PEOPLE. Where exactly does some bovine in Visa Processing get off with this??

So let me just finish this little backslide into 2009 by saying: THE HARDEST. HARDEST. HARD-EST THING i HAVE EVER, *EVER* HAD TO DO is probably what I just did, which is to click "send" after attaching a copy of my baby's adoption order to an email WITH NO TEXT, that will hopefully be the final piece of CRAP that I have to hand over just to fly across the ocean and spend my hard earned money on a DAMN holiday!!! UGH!!! It was hard, because I was chomping, CHOMPING at the bit, mind you, to pick up the phone, call up the supervisor of whatever VISITOR VISA PROCESSING dept and say something to the effect of "do you often make prejudgements on whether or not a child has been adopted based on the color of their skin in a black and white photo? is this your typical M.O.? because I think it SUCKS!" or, "can you please tell me what relevance my child's adoption papers have to whether or not she can come into your country and eat, sleep, and poop for approximately 14 days?" OMG! I'm absolutely SIMMERING over here, like!!! I don't know how to explain it, but I think the tone of the email (and lack of even considering to use the word 'please') and fact that it was no more than an ASSUMPTION that provoked this issue, is what really chapped my hide more than anything. I mean what if I had been raped & inpregnated by a black man? What if The Mr is my 2nd husband and my first & biological father of LJJ was a fine Herero Prince who was viciously murdered in cold blood by terrorists? What then? Do I owe it to Senora Nosey Pants to delve into the horrific tragedy and strife that resulted in me just happening to have a chocolate baby???

To be honest, I did pick up the phone and dial the number. But it was busy.... 4 times. I said to myself "ok, God, give me a sign - if the number is still busy on attempt No. 5, I will not press it further and will resign myself to sucking it up and playing the game and hitting "send" on this email WITHOUT using the words "offensive", "assumption", or "supervisor". And it was still busy.
So yes, even though I say it was the hardest thing I ever had to do - I almost didn't even do it, which I know I need to work on. Sometimes you just gotta play the game, and suck it up. I know in my gut this is one of those times (also having The Mr tell me "NOOOOOO! God NO don't do that!" didn't hurt in thwarting my attempt at satisfying my internal need for what *I* perceive as justice).

So anyway, before I get even more stirred up, back to the land of positive and encouraging.

**sucking - it - up**
***head down***
****teeth clenched****
MOVING ON!

The Mr. has really done it this time - somehow managing to trump his already immortal status as best-husband-ever from the last birthday when I got my iPhone from him. And not only by buying me my adulthood dream of a real live piano, but by the sheer love and effort that he put into the process. It was a toughie alright. We live in a country where pianos are neither made nor sold 2nd hand. So he had to somehow sneak off to South Africa and sneak home a giant behemoth of a musical instrument without me being the wiser. And not to mention hide it in a temporary hiding place for over a week! And him not being a musician and all, I was just overcome with amazement at the research he'd done and the decisions he had to make regarding what to buy and where, etc etc.... taking into account climate, brands, new vs. refurbished vs. old banger, country of origin, shape, look, style, and so on. OK not only has he officially redeemed himself after this Christmas and anniversary present debacles, but he has also upped the ante on how awesome any one husband can be when it comes to the art of making your wife happy by taking her mind off how old and decrepit she is becoming. I am simply in awe.

Labels: mi familia, The Kid Files, The Mr.