Well-thought-out Post No. 1: Co-workers of the Husband-y Variety
1 Comments Published by Oh Wayward One on 30 July 2008 at 7/30/2008 11:19:00 am.
I've been writing this post for months now. I put the framework together without trying to write out a nice introductory paragraph or any sort of build-up to the main ideas. Now I'm kind of in that "totally over it" state, so I'll just do a cop-out introduction in the spirit of "this is my blog and I don't give a flying &%$! about writing quality!" So here goes:
Owning a business with your spouse is pretty much fun, all around. Being co-workers that sit less than 3 metres away from one another throughout the day (8:30-5:30pm M-F plus overtime like, every day) can be very interesting and pretty entertaining. Especially when you have the best husband in the world (props to the Mr!!!). When that guy you sit next to at work is also your spouse and best friend and head of your household (aka "The Accountant/Manager/Logistics Planner/Maintenance Manager") as well as your colleague, then that bumps your relationship into a pretty weird realm, I'll admit. I know a lot of couples who think we're nuts. One of those couples is even my South African parental unit, who run a business together themselves. Interesting. Are we just really good at handling it, or are we fooling ourselves and setting ourselves up for a big disappointment down the road?
I thought I'd start with the pros and cons of doing this wacky thing. Obviously, being the general optimist that I aspire to be, we'll start with the pros.
Pros:
1. Always being together. Well that's pretty damn self-explanatory isn't it. We like each other and we're friends and it's cool when you're friends with your co-workers. Hell of a lot better than spending 9 hours of your day with a bunch of bastards that you hate. And believe me, I've done that before.
2. Reading each other's minds. If something's wrong, you're going to know. The alternative is when you see that one of your co-workers is moping around or not working to capacity and you have to guess why, or make some sort of assumption about what that person's issue is. Then you have to pussy-foot around that person or yell at them or "talk about it" or I don't know what - all I know is that if he's (or I'm) fed up with something or just mucked something up or is struggling with some issue, we're going to know what's up, instantaneously. For instance, as soon as an email comes in, I know if it's a good one or a bad one, and exactly how he's going to react. Normally I can even tell who sent it and what they want before we even have to talk about it. That's just kind of the way you're tuned into one another.
3. Understanding each other's profession. I used to hate it when I'd have to come home and face the whole "how was your day and what did you do??" conversation. Not because I don't like sharing or because I don't want my husband to be interested in what I do, but rather because I'd be fed up with the whole work-thing at 6pm, and it would just bore me to do the whole re-cap. Particularly having to re-cap with someone who may not even be interested, but would just be asking because he's a nice guy and so on. But Now, because all the issues we deal with every day are dealt with in the same room, there's no more of that whole "Well, I got this call from so-and-s0 client, and they wanted to know if I knew about such-and-such and..... blahhhhh". It all takes place right there amongst us, so there's no more of those "so what did you do at the office today?" conversations. I'll admit some people like that conversation, so in this case, this "pro" wouldn't work for everyone, I know. Me, on the other hand, I like to leave work at work.
4. Carpooling. A tree hugger like me is going to have to see this as a pro, no matter what. However it goes so far beyond that. It can't be just ANY carpooler and still be considered a "pro". I don't like carpooling with other people in the morning. First of all, I'm the world's worst morning person and I need my quiet and grumpy time until at least 9am every day. But for some strange reason that mainly extends to "those who are not my husband". I guess because he's just another appendage of me... like a 3rd arm or something. Not some external presence. You don't hate your arm in the morning, it's just... there. It knows how to act and knows what to do in order to not make you rip it off and run it through the food processor. On the morning drive to work, this is extremely important. A nice, peaceful transition between home and office. It's like you're bringing part of home along in the car, to the office, and it makes a nice segue between the two.
5. No BS. This one is pretty obvious, isn't it. Co-workers can lie to you. Spouses can't. Even if it's something as simple as "No, I'm ok, there's nothing bothering me today... I'm going to get right on that such-and-such job" and really meaning "I'm hungover, my boyfriend's going to kick me out and I'm so messed up I'm going to surf the net all day", co-workers are always capable of being full of shit or making up random excuses that bamboozle you. But not when you're married to them!!!
6. No awkward moments. I don't really know how to describe this one well, but let's just say I've been in a lot of awkward situations with colleagues in the past. Either because of some misunderstanding or because I can't read their minds or because something is going un-said between the two of us. I think it's safe to say that is rarely an issue between spouses. Any misunderstandings are obviously talked through with no barriers of shyness or timidness, because you're already an expert at verbally bashing out problems with each other. And come on now, what wife leaves anything un-said??!?? Nuff said.
7. Trustworthy co-worker. Hey, if you can't trust your right-hand-man at home, how the hell are you going to work with him? Particularly when it's your business and every cent that goes through the books is directly related to your financial welfare. This, to me, is just a non-issue. But definitely a "pro". (unless, of course, there's divorce in your future. now that's just a depressing thought, isn't it.)
It is likely that of all the pros listed above, the first one probably carries the most value. In this and other relationships, there were many times when I'd find myself in a huge kerfuffle at home where the ugly words "...and we never even see each other!" would pop up now and then, and then the whole snowball of justifying the need to stay late at the office to finish somedeadline and getting all defensive about having to work late. Now, if there's working late involved, there's no way that "we never get to see each other" is ever a point of contention. So now, for the Cons.
Cons:
1. After-hours-shop-talk. Especially if you're married to The Mr. He loves to talk shop. Comes with the territory of being Dutch, I think. Sometimes we'll find ourselves at a swanky restaurant with a hint of romance in the air and a glass of wine in hand, when out of nowhere comes "So do you think we should put a tender in for that power station job??" or "When is your next progress meeting on the such and such monitoring??". AAAGHHH!! Can we not have boundaries? Is there no end to the madness? Well, as I've learned, when you have 8 hours a day worth of common ground that you've shared, it tends to (unfortunately) come up in conversation. A lot.
2. Complacency in politeness/courtesy. Let's face it. There's often an ugly No. 11 that appears on the stone tablets of commandments: Thou dost not always have to be polite to thine spouse. This tends to happen a lot in circumstances of severe pressure at the office. When you'd normally bend over backwards to show acquaintances and platonic co-workers your Happy Face, even in times of stress, or your panache for patience even when Rome is burning... sometimes this unwritten marriage clause kicks in, accidentally. Oops. I'm not saying it's right, it just happens.
3. No time to buy birthday presents. This one is short and to-the-point: When the HELL am I supposed to get a moment alone to buy your surprise pressie for you if you can see absolutely everything I'm doing!??!?! This, combined with the "new technology" my bank just put into place whereby all our transactions and purchases come in via text message onto the account holders' phones.... AAGHH! Well, after 2 years of dealing with this, I find there's only one answer: draw out small sums of money via ATM for a long time leading up to said birthday/anniversary/whatever, and make one of your out-of-office meetings "go just a wee bit over time".
4. Unusually high standards/nit-picky. Let's face it. You wouldn't have married them if they weren't unusually wonderful and nearly perfect in every way. So you expect that all the time, even in super-human situations such as workplace challenges. Of course everyone else in the world is fallible, but not someone who has what it takes to be your life partner and go-to man in life, the universe, and everything. Sucks to be you, don't it?
5. Extra added dependency. This, unfortunately is where the lines you draw between home and office begin to blur. You have a knack for depending on each other the other 16 hours of the day, why not the 8 at the office, too? "I need you to do this". "Can you just help me put this together". "Is there any way you can stop what you're doing and give me a hand here?" etc. It's just that whole taking-commonly-used-phrases from the home and transporting them to the office. Normally you wouldn't spring as many of those on normal co-workers as you do on the person you're most-used-to saying that to.
6. Fluent in the language of Evil-Eye. What more needs to be said here? Un-spoken words from the timeless Husband and Wife Telepathic Dictionary. Zingers from across the room or over the meeting table without a word being uttered. Sure it's great when you don't want other co-workers knowing that SOMEONE's getting the smack down... but it's also a horrible habit to foster, and really quite degrading and unfair to the office environment. Sure, maybe the other people in the building can't *hear*, but no one can deny the presence of bad-vibes in the immediate area. You're not fooling anyone, really.
Owning a business with your spouse is pretty much fun, all around. Being co-workers that sit less than 3 metres away from one another throughout the day (8:30-5:30pm M-F plus overtime like, every day) can be very interesting and pretty entertaining. Especially when you have the best husband in the world (props to the Mr!!!). When that guy you sit next to at work is also your spouse and best friend and head of your household (aka "The Accountant/Manager/Logistics Planner/Maintenance Manager") as well as your colleague, then that bumps your relationship into a pretty weird realm, I'll admit. I know a lot of couples who think we're nuts. One of those couples is even my South African parental unit, who run a business together themselves. Interesting. Are we just really good at handling it, or are we fooling ourselves and setting ourselves up for a big disappointment down the road?
I thought I'd start with the pros and cons of doing this wacky thing. Obviously, being the general optimist that I aspire to be, we'll start with the pros.
Pros:
1. Always being together. Well that's pretty damn self-explanatory isn't it. We like each other and we're friends and it's cool when you're friends with your co-workers. Hell of a lot better than spending 9 hours of your day with a bunch of bastards that you hate. And believe me, I've done that before.
2. Reading each other's minds. If something's wrong, you're going to know. The alternative is when you see that one of your co-workers is moping around or not working to capacity and you have to guess why, or make some sort of assumption about what that person's issue is. Then you have to pussy-foot around that person or yell at them or "talk about it" or I don't know what - all I know is that if he's (or I'm) fed up with something or just mucked something up or is struggling with some issue, we're going to know what's up, instantaneously. For instance, as soon as an email comes in, I know if it's a good one or a bad one, and exactly how he's going to react. Normally I can even tell who sent it and what they want before we even have to talk about it. That's just kind of the way you're tuned into one another.
3. Understanding each other's profession. I used to hate it when I'd have to come home and face the whole "how was your day and what did you do??" conversation. Not because I don't like sharing or because I don't want my husband to be interested in what I do, but rather because I'd be fed up with the whole work-thing at 6pm, and it would just bore me to do the whole re-cap. Particularly having to re-cap with someone who may not even be interested, but would just be asking because he's a nice guy and so on. But Now, because all the issues we deal with every day are dealt with in the same room, there's no more of that whole "Well, I got this call from so-and-s0 client, and they wanted to know if I knew about such-and-such and..... blahhhhh". It all takes place right there amongst us, so there's no more of those "so what did you do at the office today?" conversations. I'll admit some people like that conversation, so in this case, this "pro" wouldn't work for everyone, I know. Me, on the other hand, I like to leave work at work.
4. Carpooling. A tree hugger like me is going to have to see this as a pro, no matter what. However it goes so far beyond that. It can't be just ANY carpooler and still be considered a "pro". I don't like carpooling with other people in the morning. First of all, I'm the world's worst morning person and I need my quiet and grumpy time until at least 9am every day. But for some strange reason that mainly extends to "those who are not my husband". I guess because he's just another appendage of me... like a 3rd arm or something. Not some external presence. You don't hate your arm in the morning, it's just... there. It knows how to act and knows what to do in order to not make you rip it off and run it through the food processor. On the morning drive to work, this is extremely important. A nice, peaceful transition between home and office. It's like you're bringing part of home along in the car, to the office, and it makes a nice segue between the two.
5. No BS. This one is pretty obvious, isn't it. Co-workers can lie to you. Spouses can't. Even if it's something as simple as "No, I'm ok, there's nothing bothering me today... I'm going to get right on that such-and-such job" and really meaning "I'm hungover, my boyfriend's going to kick me out and I'm so messed up I'm going to surf the net all day", co-workers are always capable of being full of shit or making up random excuses that bamboozle you. But not when you're married to them!!!
6. No awkward moments. I don't really know how to describe this one well, but let's just say I've been in a lot of awkward situations with colleagues in the past. Either because of some misunderstanding or because I can't read their minds or because something is going un-said between the two of us. I think it's safe to say that is rarely an issue between spouses. Any misunderstandings are obviously talked through with no barriers of shyness or timidness, because you're already an expert at verbally bashing out problems with each other. And come on now, what wife leaves anything un-said??!?? Nuff said.
7. Trustworthy co-worker. Hey, if you can't trust your right-hand-man at home, how the hell are you going to work with him? Particularly when it's your business and every cent that goes through the books is directly related to your financial welfare. This, to me, is just a non-issue. But definitely a "pro". (unless, of course, there's divorce in your future. now that's just a depressing thought, isn't it.)
It is likely that of all the pros listed above, the first one probably carries the most value. In this and other relationships, there were many times when I'd find myself in a huge kerfuffle at home where the ugly words "...and we never even see each other!" would pop up now and then, and then the whole snowball of justifying the need to stay late at the office to finish some
Cons:
1. After-hours-shop-talk. Especially if you're married to The Mr. He loves to talk shop. Comes with the territory of being Dutch, I think. Sometimes we'll find ourselves at a swanky restaurant with a hint of romance in the air and a glass of wine in hand, when out of nowhere comes "So do you think we should put a tender in for that power station job??" or "When is your next progress meeting on the such and such monitoring??". AAAGHHH!! Can we not have boundaries? Is there no end to the madness? Well, as I've learned, when you have 8 hours a day worth of common ground that you've shared, it tends to (unfortunately) come up in conversation. A lot.
2. Complacency in politeness/courtesy. Let's face it. There's often an ugly No. 11 that appears on the stone tablets of commandments: Thou dost not always have to be polite to thine spouse. This tends to happen a lot in circumstances of severe pressure at the office. When you'd normally bend over backwards to show acquaintances and platonic co-workers your Happy Face, even in times of stress, or your panache for patience even when Rome is burning... sometimes this unwritten marriage clause kicks in, accidentally. Oops. I'm not saying it's right, it just happens.
3. No time to buy birthday presents. This one is short and to-the-point: When the HELL am I supposed to get a moment alone to buy your surprise pressie for you if you can see absolutely everything I'm doing!??!?! This, combined with the "new technology" my bank just put into place whereby all our transactions and purchases come in via text message onto the account holders' phones.... AAGHH! Well, after 2 years of dealing with this, I find there's only one answer: draw out small sums of money via ATM for a long time leading up to said birthday/anniversary/whatever, and make one of your out-of-office meetings "go just a wee bit over time".
4. Unusually high standards/nit-picky. Let's face it. You wouldn't have married them if they weren't unusually wonderful and nearly perfect in every way. So you expect that all the time, even in super-human situations such as workplace challenges. Of course everyone else in the world is fallible, but not someone who has what it takes to be your life partner and go-to man in life, the universe, and everything. Sucks to be you, don't it?
5. Extra added dependency. This, unfortunately is where the lines you draw between home and office begin to blur. You have a knack for depending on each other the other 16 hours of the day, why not the 8 at the office, too? "I need you to do this". "Can you just help me put this together". "Is there any way you can stop what you're doing and give me a hand here?" etc. It's just that whole taking-commonly-used-phrases from the home and transporting them to the office. Normally you wouldn't spring as many of those on normal co-workers as you do on the person you're most-used-to saying that to.
6. Fluent in the language of Evil-Eye. What more needs to be said here? Un-spoken words from the timeless Husband and Wife Telepathic Dictionary. Zingers from across the room or over the meeting table without a word being uttered. Sure it's great when you don't want other co-workers knowing that SOMEONE's getting the smack down... but it's also a horrible habit to foster, and really quite degrading and unfair to the office environment. Sure, maybe the other people in the building can't *hear*, but no one can deny the presence of bad-vibes in the immediate area. You're not fooling anyone, really.
OK, right, I wanted to have 10 of each to show that this was really balanced and well-thought-out, but as I said, I've been writing this for months and this is the best I can do.
I suppose the moral of the story is that as far as my circumstances go, this is a good wicket for me. And 7 vs. 6* isn't all that bad, as far as balance goes. I suppose the biggest overall Pro for me is the unlimited transparency that comes with being co-directors with the Mr. It's like all-seeing, all-knowing, all the time. OK that could be horrible if there were ulterior motives or conflicting agendas between the spouse-workers in question (i.e. if it were a boss/employee situation), but as we both hold the same position and do virtually the same job, I find it more helpful than anything. Especially for workplace dynamics. Would "teamwork" be a more appropriate term to use, maybe? Regardless, it is what it is, and I have no further explanation.
As for the biggest con, I'm gonna have to go with No. 2: Complacency in politeness/curteousy. My worst fault, in particular. And I guess just something that anyone/everyone can work on. I've been in the process of working on that for about 2 years now and it seems to be improving with only irregular backslides every once in awhile. Just remaining positive and not letting laziness creep into the way you treat other people is the main anecdote. Which is basically a good lesson to learn and practice in general, so I'm trying to use that as a catalyst to become a better person anyway.
THE END.
*Surprisingly Notable Omission (to most people, I guess): Cons don't include "no time alone". In my field there is no such thing as "time to one's self". It's an office environment and regardless of whether or not the people surrounding me are married to me, my job is not a place to go to be get away from someone. If I need to give myself a bikini wax or do something otherwise "for my eyes only", I can do it at home while the Mr. is on dishes duty or some European championship soccer match is on the telly. It isn't difficult to get "privacy" at my house. But that's just me.
So the story goes:
Girl goes 30 odd years with great teeth and nary a cavity amongst them.
One night, girl stands in front of her mirror flossing away peacefully, when out of nowhere from the bathroom explodes a blood curdling scream and: "HOLY HAMMER OF THOR, WHAT IS *THAT*!?!?!!?!?"
A tiny black dot is visible on the surface of girl's bottom left molar.
She scrubs harder. Still there.
Grabs a toothpick. Still there.
Try something smaller... tweezers maybe? A needle? Fizzy mouthwash?
Nope, nope. Still there.
2 weeks pass, it's STILL THERE.
Girl repeatedly moans and groans and cries "nooooooooo! not this! not me! not ever! noooooooo!!!" and begrudgingly makes appointment with the dentist. _sigh_ I guess it was bound to happen sometime.
Monday, as if that's not bad enough in itself: Dentist (dis)Appointment:
Enter nervous, shuddering, quivering pile of Jell-O girl, sitting on Dentist Lady's couch, waiting for the inevitable. (Actually, waiting for OVER AN HOUR AND A HALF on said couch, but in my new found bid for more positivity, we won't go there and will rather say "thank god again for the invention of the iPod").
Finally, girl slumps into the chamber of doom and saddles up into the bendy flexi chair for the bad news TKO.
"Lo and behold!" says Tardy Dentist Lady. "Why, that's not a cavity at all. Do you know what that is? It's a speck of something trapped in the cavernous, jagged surface of your back molar. You have very "bumpy" teeth. Let me just use this special micro-mini scraper to get it out."
After an invigorating teeth clean and toxic mouthwash, girl is set free to go back out into the world with her good old untainted teeth. And the heavens shone down upon her all the day long.
Hot DAMN!
Girl goes 30 odd years with great teeth and nary a cavity amongst them.
One night, girl stands in front of her mirror flossing away peacefully, when out of nowhere from the bathroom explodes a blood curdling scream and: "HOLY HAMMER OF THOR, WHAT IS *THAT*!?!?!!?!?"
A tiny black dot is visible on the surface of girl's bottom left molar.
She scrubs harder. Still there.
Grabs a toothpick. Still there.
Try something smaller... tweezers maybe? A needle? Fizzy mouthwash?
Nope, nope. Still there.
2 weeks pass, it's STILL THERE.
Girl repeatedly moans and groans and cries "nooooooooo! not this! not me! not ever! noooooooo!!!" and begrudgingly makes appointment with the dentist. _sigh_ I guess it was bound to happen sometime.
Monday, as if that's not bad enough in itself: Dentist (dis)Appointment:
Enter nervous, shuddering, quivering pile of Jell-O girl, sitting on Dentist Lady's couch, waiting for the inevitable. (Actually, waiting for OVER AN HOUR AND A HALF on said couch, but in my new found bid for more positivity, we won't go there and will rather say "thank god again for the invention of the iPod").
Finally, girl slumps into the chamber of doom and saddles up into the bendy flexi chair for the bad news TKO.
"Lo and behold!" says Tardy Dentist Lady. "Why, that's not a cavity at all. Do you know what that is? It's a speck of something trapped in the cavernous, jagged surface of your back molar. You have very "bumpy" teeth. Let me just use this special micro-mini scraper to get it out."
After an invigorating teeth clean and toxic mouthwash, girl is set free to go back out into the world with her good old untainted teeth. And the heavens shone down upon her all the day long.
Hot DAMN!
The End of the Great Presidents Day 4-day Weekend of 2008
0 Comments Published by Oh Wayward One on 23 July 2008 at 7/23/2008 12:17:00 pm.
Man what a weekend.
and I NEVER say that about long weekends not spent running around to someplace exciting, far awaaaaaay from home.
Here's the scoop:
The girls left on Friday (great timing!) so from there it was all us, all alone, all weekend, with nothing but freedom and puppies at our disposal. Awesome.
Friday night was gym (thank god!) and a simple dinner at home FOR TWO! ONLY. TWO.
Saturday: sleeping in without waking up to find people waiting for you to be entertained. Spent some quality time down at the kennels, walking the inmates, playing in the kitten house, checking up on the new lodgers, etc. Followed by full body massages at the Oriental massage lady, long lunch out of mussels and hake and calamari and white wine, sitting outside. Came home for a nice long walk with the pups. Became couch potatoes in front of the tv for the night, watching WHATEVER WE WANT without having to worry if anyone else gave a crap.
Sunday: sleeping in again, more walks, more gym, some shopping, plenty of time for banjo picking, and a Chinese feast for dinner.
Monday: sleep in (surprise), meeting with the animal people, a bit of non-work-related internet surfing, more walking, more wine, watched a movie (Children of Men - LAME!) more sleeping...
Tuesday: semi-sleep in, some shopping, lunch out, bathing the pups, reading, gym, long bath, some more reading....
And here we are! Back to the grindstone. _sigh_ but feeling better about the world in general. Oh it's nice to spend 4 days alone together with your baby, with not a care in the world, after close to a month of nonsense.
and I NEVER say that about long weekends not spent running around to someplace exciting, far awaaaaaay from home.
Here's the scoop:
The girls left on Friday (great timing!) so from there it was all us, all alone, all weekend, with nothing but freedom and puppies at our disposal. Awesome.
Friday night was gym (thank god!) and a simple dinner at home FOR TWO! ONLY. TWO.
Saturday: sleeping in without waking up to find people waiting for you to be entertained. Spent some quality time down at the kennels, walking the inmates, playing in the kitten house, checking up on the new lodgers, etc. Followed by full body massages at the Oriental massage lady, long lunch out of mussels and hake and calamari and white wine, sitting outside. Came home for a nice long walk with the pups. Became couch potatoes in front of the tv for the night, watching WHATEVER WE WANT without having to worry if anyone else gave a crap.
Sunday: sleeping in again, more walks, more gym, some shopping, plenty of time for banjo picking, and a Chinese feast for dinner.
Monday: sleep in (surprise), meeting with the animal people, a bit of non-work-related internet surfing, more walking, more wine, watched a movie (Children of Men - LAME!) more sleeping...
Tuesday: semi-sleep in, some shopping, lunch out, bathing the pups, reading, gym, long bath, some more reading....
And here we are! Back to the grindstone. _sigh_ but feeling better about the world in general. Oh it's nice to spend 4 days alone together with your baby, with not a care in the world, after close to a month of nonsense.
First of all, before I forget - the Mr. put up some nice photos of our new office that my parents took, over on The Other Blog.
And I just put up some photos of last week's trip.
ANYWAY back to the food.........
Last night we took the little people (ok they're both taller than me) to dinner at our local.
The MIL and FIL were paying (vicariously through the SIL), so we ordered up a feast.
The Mr. and I had mopane worms and snails for starters, and SIL had wild livers. Then for mains, I had a kudu loin stuffed with wild mushrooms in a red wine sauce, and the Mr. had rabbit stew and madombe (boiled dumplings). SIL had a delectible fillet of ostrich done to perfection with beautiful chive mashed potatoes.
It was all yummy. Meanwhile, 18yo No. 2, the vegamatarian who wont even eat fish, had a sandwich.
And I just put up some photos of last week's trip.
ANYWAY back to the food.........
Last night we took the little people (ok they're both taller than me) to dinner at our local.
The MIL and FIL were paying (vicariously through the SIL), so we ordered up a feast.
The Mr. and I had mopane worms and snails for starters, and SIL had wild livers. Then for mains, I had a kudu loin stuffed with wild mushrooms in a red wine sauce, and the Mr. had rabbit stew and madombe (boiled dumplings). SIL had a delectible fillet of ostrich done to perfection with beautiful chive mashed potatoes.
It was all yummy. Meanwhile, 18yo No. 2, the vegamatarian who wont even eat fish, had a sandwich.
And Awkwardness Abounds!!!
0 Comments Published by Oh Wayward One on 16 July 2008 at 7/16/2008 09:06:00 am.
I am in a serious rut of awkwardness.
I believe in the universe being aligned or out of alignment, just like peoples' backs and bio mechanics. And for what its worth I'm in a period where the cosmos is just completely messed up with regards to its alignment and how it is affecting MOI in particular.
There's just this awkwardness everywhere. Nothing feels settled and comfortable and "right". It probably all started back before the 'rents got here, and hit an all-time high round about The Great Scrabble Explosion of '08, kept rising with my final exam anxiety, then continued up into the atmosphere when my friend slept with my intern on a camping trip (within ear-shot of ME!!), and kept rocketing skyward with each day of having these eejot 18 year old girls invading my house - catapulting me out of my comfort zone and exercise regime - compounded by finding out that MaP is dissing me behind my back to mutual friends after THE WEEKEND (I've about written her off entirely by now) as well as the fact that I've had to accept the fact that I probably can't physically forgive her. And it doesn't help the situation that we had to go away for work the past couple days and eat hotel food and organize a 2-day outing for these &*$% girls that also (apparently) involved debauchery and sin and questionable escapades on their part.... AND I'm feeling overwhelmed by work, which is my fault because I've been dodging responsibility lately!
I JUST WANT TO FEEL COMFORTABLE AGAIN!!!
Really, it's a combination of feelings of discomfort + plain old disgruntledness. Sometimes I feel like a sad kid at summer camp who sobs "I just want to go home!!" and other times I feel like Bill Murray in "Groundhog Day" in that scene where he's completely FUBAR and slouching dejectedly in front of the same episode of Jeopardy that he's been watching for a hundred days incessantly muttering out loud the answers to the questions before Alex Trebek even gets the words out of his mouth. He just has this *look* on his face. Well, I feel like that look!
Anyway, on the positive side, the 18yos are outta here on friday evening. Thats 2 days away. That night begins a 4-day public holiday weekend for us, in which I plan to do a lot of catching up on sanity, exercise, eating right, and getting my head screwed on straight. I have articles to write for the Animal People, I have 4 neglected puppies to walk, I have emails to catch up on, photos to upload, and general health + well being to get back into.
Also on the positive side, I love the Mr. soooooo much because he is trying his darndest to get me back into a glass-half-full kind of head space. I've been doing a lot of "I feel so uncomfortable in life right now" whinging, and he's been doing a lot of pep talks and cuddles. And that is definitely reason to shape up, I don't want to let him down or worse even BRING him down.
So on that note, I really just need to purge any thoughts of MaP and SILs and all these frustrating eebie jeebie-incurring things that keep happening due to cosmic nonalignment from my mind. Focus.... focus...
I believe in the universe being aligned or out of alignment, just like peoples' backs and bio mechanics. And for what its worth I'm in a period where the cosmos is just completely messed up with regards to its alignment and how it is affecting MOI in particular.
There's just this awkwardness everywhere. Nothing feels settled and comfortable and "right". It probably all started back before the 'rents got here, and hit an all-time high round about The Great Scrabble Explosion of '08, kept rising with my final exam anxiety, then continued up into the atmosphere when my friend slept with my intern on a camping trip (within ear-shot of ME!!), and kept rocketing skyward with each day of having these eejot 18 year old girls invading my house - catapulting me out of my comfort zone and exercise regime - compounded by finding out that MaP is dissing me behind my back to mutual friends after THE WEEKEND (I've about written her off entirely by now) as well as the fact that I've had to accept the fact that I probably can't physically forgive her. And it doesn't help the situation that we had to go away for work the past couple days and eat hotel food and organize a 2-day outing for these &*$% girls that also (apparently) involved debauchery and sin and questionable escapades on their part.... AND I'm feeling overwhelmed by work, which is my fault because I've been dodging responsibility lately!
I JUST WANT TO FEEL COMFORTABLE AGAIN!!!
Really, it's a combination of feelings of discomfort + plain old disgruntledness. Sometimes I feel like a sad kid at summer camp who sobs "I just want to go home!!" and other times I feel like Bill Murray in "Groundhog Day" in that scene where he's completely FUBAR and slouching dejectedly in front of the same episode of Jeopardy that he's been watching for a hundred days incessantly muttering out loud the answers to the questions before Alex Trebek even gets the words out of his mouth. He just has this *look* on his face. Well, I feel like that look!
Anyway, on the positive side, the 18yos are outta here on friday evening. Thats 2 days away. That night begins a 4-day public holiday weekend for us, in which I plan to do a lot of catching up on sanity, exercise, eating right, and getting my head screwed on straight. I have articles to write for the Animal People, I have 4 neglected puppies to walk, I have emails to catch up on, photos to upload, and general health + well being to get back into.
Also on the positive side, I love the Mr. soooooo much because he is trying his darndest to get me back into a glass-half-full kind of head space. I've been doing a lot of "I feel so uncomfortable in life right now" whinging, and he's been doing a lot of pep talks and cuddles. And that is definitely reason to shape up, I don't want to let him down or worse even BRING him down.
So on that note, I really just need to purge any thoughts of MaP and SILs and all these frustrating eebie jeebie-incurring things that keep happening due to cosmic nonalignment from my mind. Focus.... focus...
I HATE 18 YEAR OLDS
4 Comments Published by Oh Wayward One on 08 July 2008 at 7/08/2008 10:23:00 am.
Was I ever 18? could i really have been 18? it was just like, sooooooooo long ago. Was I stupid?
I don't even want to write this blog I'm in such a foul mood, but anyway, in the interest of WHY I am in a foul mood...
So like the day after I got rid of the parentals, my SIL and her little friend arrive. FOR 2 WEEKS.
They have no drivers' license, they have no plans, they have no clue ("are there tigers here??"), they have no money and they have no brains. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Sister-in-loopy didn't bring any real shoes. Only princess high heels. And no old clothes. So taking walks is off the agenda. Hiking is off the agenda. Climbing K-hill is off. Ooooh gee, won't camping with them this weekend be fun. In the SAND. ARE THERE TIGERS?!?! COME ON, LIKE STAB ME IN THE FRIGGIN EYEBALL WITH A BLUNT TOOTHPICK WHY DONTCHA.
I want my house back. I want to be able to go to the gym at lunch and not have to have the Mr. drive all the way home, fetch them, and take their lame asses to the mall instead. I want to listen to Queen with the speakers on 10, and eat salad every night.
Oh yes, one of them is a vegetarian, and neither of them LIKE ANYTHING.
I don't even want to write this blog I'm in such a foul mood, but anyway, in the interest of WHY I am in a foul mood...
So like the day after I got rid of the parentals, my SIL and her little friend arrive. FOR 2 WEEKS.
They have no drivers' license, they have no plans, they have no clue ("are there tigers here??"), they have no money and they have no brains. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Sister-in-loopy didn't bring any real shoes. Only princess high heels. And no old clothes. So taking walks is off the agenda. Hiking is off the agenda. Climbing K-hill is off. Ooooh gee, won't camping with them this weekend be fun. In the SAND. ARE THERE TIGERS?!?! COME ON, LIKE STAB ME IN THE FRIGGIN EYEBALL WITH A BLUNT TOOTHPICK WHY DONTCHA.
I want my house back. I want to be able to go to the gym at lunch and not have to have the Mr. drive all the way home, fetch them, and take their lame asses to the mall instead. I want to listen to Queen with the speakers on 10, and eat salad every night.
Oh yes, one of them is a vegetarian, and neither of them LIKE ANYTHING.
Whew. I'm done.
After studying my buns off for weeks now, I've just finished the first final exam I've had to deal with in like, 8 years.
They locked me up in the British Council in a room all by myself with a broken heater (brrrr!) and an "exam monitor" who proceeded to sleep for 2 hours solid while making sure I didnt cheat.
I had an answer to every question and I only know of one 2-point answer that I got completely wrong... grrr... stupid Permit to Work mumbo-jumbo BS....rrrrr.... So I'd say that I most definitely passed. Not sure about the whole "flying colours" thing, but definitely a pass. Hopefully 80% or so. We'll see how much my BS'ing on the one about the guy who backs his truck into another employee at the loading bay goes. I wasn't so confident on that one.
Now all I have to do is finish up this one assignment to submit tomorrow and I'm on SCHOOL HOLIDAYS (HAHAHAHA) til September. Whoopty-freakin-doo da.
My eyes hurt. My brain hurts. My writing-fingers hurt.
Go sleepy time now... zzzzzz
After studying my buns off for weeks now, I've just finished the first final exam I've had to deal with in like, 8 years.
They locked me up in the British Council in a room all by myself with a broken heater (brrrr!) and an "exam monitor" who proceeded to sleep for 2 hours solid while making sure I didnt cheat.
I had an answer to every question and I only know of one 2-point answer that I got completely wrong... grrr... stupid Permit to Work mumbo-jumbo BS....rrrrr.... So I'd say that I most definitely passed. Not sure about the whole "flying colours" thing, but definitely a pass. Hopefully 80% or so. We'll see how much my BS'ing on the one about the guy who backs his truck into another employee at the loading bay goes. I wasn't so confident on that one.
Now all I have to do is finish up this one assignment to submit tomorrow and I'm on SCHOOL HOLIDAYS (HAHAHAHA) til September. Whoopty-freakin-doo da.
My eyes hurt. My brain hurts. My writing-fingers hurt.
Go sleepy time now... zzzzzz
Mission Accomplished: A tale of board games and card games
2 Comments Published by Oh Wayward One on 03 July 2008 at 7/03/2008 02:53:00 pm.
The parental units are gone.
Voila! I have survived!
It was bizarre and mysterious and utterly bamboozling at times, and semi-pleasant at times, and absolute hell at times. But I'm still here, we're all still alive, and I only puked once.
(I got some sort of weird poisoning going on while they were here.)
Um, yeah, so anyway. I'm snowed under with all this catch-up crap in my lap now that I've been off for the last week, so I won't blog it all out now but let's say that the 6 days they were here was full of peaks and valleys. To represent such, I'll take 5 minutes here to record one of each.
Low point of the week: And lo and behold it wasn't even related to the Mominator!! Unusually and disappointingly it was Ma P. And there was Scrabble (my favorite game!) involved. Note to self: only certain people can HANDLE BOARD GAMES. We were all 6 down at GM for the weekend and we were playing Scrabble... Me, the Mr., and Ma P. Well let's just say Ma P. isn't too great at the game, and was continually whinging and arguing about elements such as scoring, high-number words, challenges, etc. I could make her sound better by saying that justifies what happened but... um, no. People on my shit list get no excuses. Let me first preface by saying that she and I have a special relationship due to our similarities - like sense of humour and sarcasm... anyway so she's picking on me during this game (because I'm winning) and the Mr & I are picking on her back (because she doesn't get it) and we're doing our usual thing and all of a sudden, when I say "hey, if you think I'm full of crap, just ask my dad if that's legal!" she just freaks out and throws her tiles on the ground and storms off. Seriously. Every tile wiped from the board so me and the Mr. couldn't even finish playing by ourselves if we wanted to. Just like a 5 year old. I am not kidding, nor exaggerating to make myself sound like the injusticed one.
I was disgusted and disgusted some more. It was awkward and retarded and generally all around disgusting. Talk about weirdness hanging in the air. 69 year old woman behaving like a kid. Did I mention the level of disgust? Pa P. was watching the whole thing and was disgusted with her behaviour too. My parents only heard the crashing tiles as they were on the other side of the room as if nothing happened, in their typical style. What REALLY pisses me off though, is that it happened in front of the 'rents and now gives them ammunition to add to their "devil child" arsenal as in "now it's official: EVERYONE thinks you're horrible"!! I even heard my dad say to her as she stormed over to where they were "I understand, I understand" as in "isn't she the WORST???" UGH! and both the Mr. and Pa P. agreed with me that I didn't say ANYTHING out of order. Chalk it up to menopause I guess.
Moral of the story: no more board games with certain people.
Either way I do NOT see her in the same light at all, and will continue to wonder if this is going to affect the future. That's how disgusted I am! Like, next time I go down to SA for the weekend, will I even bother dropping by? For the record, *I* had to stand up straight and go deliver a very vague "I'm sorry about last night" type apology the next day, so at least our last day together wouldn't be completely ruined. Oh sure there were tears and apologies from her, but if I hadn't done my bit, nothing would've ever been said. And I find that pretty disgraceful and weird. Oh, top that off with her excuse for her behaviour: "you're just not very nice to your mother and it really bothers me and it just built up all weekend and set me off..." WTF?!?!
Now for the high point: The mominator and the dadster have played a certain card game with their buddies the F's for over 30 years now. I have childhood memories of them putting me to bed when I was little and me being woken up to the sounds of screaming and laughing and all sorts of card-game-type-banter around the dining room table whenever the F's would be over for dinner. ANyway one night while they were here this week, they taught the Mr. and I how to play... it's a game for 4.... we played every night they were here and it was a BLAST. Even with the parental units. And it's always played boys vs. girls so I even had to be like, within 1 foot of the mominator in a teamwork environment. And it was still fun! The whole time, as long as we were playing cards, we were getting along. Hmmmm....
I think the moral of this story is that I could potentially have a humane relationship with a certain someone, so long as there is a card game involved. Could make car rides and dinner times a bit bizarre, though.
Oh yeah, side note: I was already in the doghouse with the mominator when the whole Ma P. debacle went down. I don't know why, exactly (well obviously because I'm just a horrible person who treats innocent people like crap?) but she was pouting about SOMETHING. Anyway, the shit went down and Ma P. stormed off and played cards with my parents, leaving us sitting on the other side of the room bamboozled. The mominator acted like nothing happened. BUT after Ma P went to bed, the mominator was all over me with kindness. It was really bizarre. Like some stranger had beat her dog or something. It was mommy-territorial behaviour. She visibly felt sorry for me, for getting punished by another mommy. All hugging me and asking if we wanted to play cards with them and stuff. Weird.
Of course the next day she and Ma P are all best-buddies and taking long walks together and having deep and meaningful conversations about how horrible I am. I know b/c the Mr. also confronted her about "last night" and she filled him with tales of how sympathetic she was to the Mominator for having such a horrible spawn on her hands (after hearing "the one about how the devil child never emails her grandmother" and other assorted soliloquies of hardship).
Whatever. My dad congratulated me today on surviving and being able to get along with the M. for 6 whole days. Mission accomplished!
Voila! I have survived!
It was bizarre and mysterious and utterly bamboozling at times, and semi-pleasant at times, and absolute hell at times. But I'm still here, we're all still alive, and I only puked once.
(I got some sort of weird poisoning going on while they were here.
Um, yeah, so anyway. I'm snowed under with all this catch-up crap in my lap now that I've been off for the last week, so I won't blog it all out now but let's say that the 6 days they were here was full of peaks and valleys. To represent such, I'll take 5 minutes here to record one of each.
Low point of the week: And lo and behold it wasn't even related to the Mominator!! Unusually and disappointingly it was Ma P. And there was Scrabble (my favorite game!) involved. Note to self: only certain people can HANDLE BOARD GAMES. We were all 6 down at GM for the weekend and we were playing Scrabble... Me, the Mr., and Ma P. Well let's just say Ma P. isn't too great at the game, and was continually whinging and arguing about elements such as scoring, high-number words, challenges, etc. I could make her sound better by saying that justifies what happened but... um, no. People on my shit list get no excuses. Let me first preface by saying that she and I have a special relationship due to our similarities - like sense of humour and sarcasm... anyway so she's picking on me during this game (because I'm winning) and the Mr & I are picking on her back (because she doesn't get it) and we're doing our usual thing and all of a sudden, when I say "hey, if you think I'm full of crap, just ask my dad if that's legal!" she just freaks out and throws her tiles on the ground and storms off. Seriously. Every tile wiped from the board so me and the Mr. couldn't even finish playing by ourselves if we wanted to. Just like a 5 year old. I am not kidding, nor exaggerating to make myself sound like the injusticed one.
I was disgusted and disgusted some more. It was awkward and retarded and generally all around disgusting. Talk about weirdness hanging in the air. 69 year old woman behaving like a kid. Did I mention the level of disgust? Pa P. was watching the whole thing and was disgusted with her behaviour too. My parents only heard the crashing tiles as they were on the other side of the room as if nothing happened, in their typical style. What REALLY pisses me off though, is that it happened in front of the 'rents and now gives them ammunition to add to their "devil child" arsenal as in "now it's official: EVERYONE thinks you're horrible"!! I even heard my dad say to her as she stormed over to where they were "I understand, I understand" as in "isn't she the WORST???" UGH! and both the Mr. and Pa P. agreed with me that I didn't say ANYTHING out of order. Chalk it up to menopause I guess.
Moral of the story: no more board games with certain people.
Either way I do NOT see her in the same light at all, and will continue to wonder if this is going to affect the future. That's how disgusted I am! Like, next time I go down to SA for the weekend, will I even bother dropping by? For the record, *I* had to stand up straight and go deliver a very vague "I'm sorry about last night" type apology the next day, so at least our last day together wouldn't be completely ruined. Oh sure there were tears and apologies from her, but if I hadn't done my bit, nothing would've ever been said. And I find that pretty disgraceful and weird. Oh, top that off with her excuse for her behaviour: "you're just not very nice to your mother and it really bothers me and it just built up all weekend and set me off..." WTF?!?!
Now for the high point: The mominator and the dadster have played a certain card game with their buddies the F's for over 30 years now. I have childhood memories of them putting me to bed when I was little and me being woken up to the sounds of screaming and laughing and all sorts of card-game-type-banter around the dining room table whenever the F's would be over for dinner. ANyway one night while they were here this week, they taught the Mr. and I how to play... it's a game for 4.... we played every night they were here and it was a BLAST. Even with the parental units. And it's always played boys vs. girls so I even had to be like, within 1 foot of the mominator in a teamwork environment. And it was still fun! The whole time, as long as we were playing cards, we were getting along. Hmmmm....
I think the moral of this story is that I could potentially have a humane relationship with a certain someone, so long as there is a card game involved. Could make car rides and dinner times a bit bizarre, though.
Oh yeah, side note: I was already in the doghouse with the mominator when the whole Ma P. debacle went down. I don't know why, exactly (well obviously because I'm just a horrible person who treats innocent people like crap?) but she was pouting about SOMETHING. Anyway, the shit went down and Ma P. stormed off and played cards with my parents, leaving us sitting on the other side of the room bamboozled. The mominator acted like nothing happened. BUT after Ma P went to bed, the mominator was all over me with kindness. It was really bizarre. Like some stranger had beat her dog or something. It was mommy-territorial behaviour. She visibly felt sorry for me, for getting punished by another mommy. All hugging me and asking if we wanted to play cards with them and stuff. Weird.
Of course the next day she and Ma P are all best-buddies and taking long walks together and having deep and meaningful conversations about how horrible I am. I know b/c the Mr. also confronted her about "last night" and she filled him with tales of how sympathetic she was to the Mominator for having such a horrible spawn on her hands (after hearing "the one about how the devil child never emails her grandmother" and other assorted soliloquies of hardship).
Whatever. My dad congratulated me today on surviving and being able to get along with the M. for 6 whole days. Mission accomplished!
