Oh BALLS I'm old!
0 Comments Published by Oh Wayward One on 17 August 2005 at 8/17/2005 06:38:00 pm.
Dear Blogary,
I'm so damn old. I feel like I should record this NOW, as I sit here on my 29yearold ass, so that I can look back at this in 10 years and say "ah sure I wasnt that old then."
I was going to write this on sunday but then I got too messed up, thinking about it. I am so friggin old, I can't roll with things anymore.
It's an epidemic, man. I took time out and read Sarah's blog on the same day, and dammit she feels old too. I was at work talking to the guys and they feel old too. My boss feels old, Hannes feels old. . . it's not just me. But then again I hang around a lot of 29-ish types. So THAT must be the common thread.
I played rugby on C's team for a change this past saturday and lo and behold I found out she's only 23. TWENTY THREE!!! I just mistakenly ASSumed that anyone working for RPSwould have to be as old as me.
Then reality struck. . . I was working forNSR in Melb-town when *I* was 24. I had a MSc when I was 24. So it COULD be possible to be a scientist at age 23. Holy balls of fire. What is this world coming to!? I just have this inner feeling that 23 year olds should be running around being immature and calling boys and asking permission to stay out late. Huh?
Oh shit yeah, I almost forgot, reality struck AGAIN when I took another look around at my team on saturday. . . DUDE THEY WERE ALL BABIES!!! Little pudgy-faced, college-kid BABIES!!! I swear that Peter must be like, 20 or something!!! And I proceeded to think. . . shittttttttttt, if C is only 23, then R must be only 23, and feck it even KAREN must be -oh god she might be as old as - 25!?!?!?!?!? THATS STILL A WHOPPING 4 YEARS YOUNGER THAN ME!!! JEEZUS MARYANDJOSEPH I am never playing on THIS team again.
Once the thought hit me, I started to obsess about it. Which affected my playing. It affected my attitude. It affected my ability to be witty, sociable, and outgoing. My shiny personality was stunted for a whole day. I lost my GAME, man, my GAME was nowhere to be found.
Then sunday came. I was sore. SO FRIGGIN SORE. My old body just . . . UGH. (Nothing to do with age, Jill, you didnt stretch like normal, and we won all the tournament games which means 6 Games in 1 day. DUH)
Anyway, now every day I'm looking at myself in the mirror going: "do I look old?" Would I even notice if I had a grey hair? What if I have 20 of them and I just don't know it yet because they're all in the back of my head??!?
I'm starting to ask people how old they think I am. Em said 27 or 28. I love Em. But then again she also was aware that I'm obsessing this week. So maybe she was just blowing smoke up my ass.
Tadgh said he pleads the 5th, the damn bastard. If he thought I looked 27 would he still plead the 5th? Or is he just scared to say "30"?!?
What really freaks me out is that LIAM looked absolutely shocked when I said I was 29, the other day. Like, I didnt ask him or anything, it's just we were talking about ages or birthdays or something and when I mentioned I was 29 he was like "REALLY? Is that all?? Well you're just a baby!" But HOLY HELL he wasn't supposed to say that dammed "REALLY? Is that all??" part!!! WHY DID HE HAVE TO SAY THAT?!?!
Another Thing: People at work know I'm married. Non-americans dont GET married. Or at least they dont get married as young as americans do. So if you're married, that automatically makes you old. (Thanking god I dont have kids yet, or I'd be on suicide watch at this rate). THey know I'm married, so they MUST think I'm old. I'm a pseudo-boss, as well, and you can't be a boss if you're young, right? Strike 2 against wannabe-young jill. I might as well just start writing the obituary.
My obsession must stem from the fact that I was ALWAYS the youngest at stuff. I was always the youngest person to like obscure oldish music like the Allman Brothers, the Flying Burrito Bros, the Dead, The Band and Bob Dylan. I was always dating guys twice my age. I was always the youngest journalist for the ABB magazine. I was the youngest one my older friends ever knew to be reading passe' beatnik poetry. I was worrying about things like politics, human geography issues, and dead philosophers as a teenager. I was the youngest one in my group of old high school teacher-friends. I was always getting attention because I WAS the youngest in these situations. In fact, I guess BEING the youngest at ___whatever___ was my GAME!!!
Now what to do? My game has been stolen by that asshole Father Time! Shit man the only thing I'm the youngest at anymore is having bought a house and relocated intercontinentally about 6 times. But really, who the hell gives a shit about that? That aint gonna pick me up any hotties on the bar this saturday night.
Then again (lets wax philosophical, shall we? just me and you, Blog), I have Hannes and I dont need to pick up hotties and be popular and witty and interesting to utter strangers and older men. Hell, if I started running game on older men these days, I'd have to go find me some friggin 60 year olds! I mean, the 37-40 age group isn't even exotically "older" to me anymore!
And H. thinks I'm sen-bloody-sational regardless of my age (exactly 1.5 years OLDER than him, of COURSE...ugh) and duh, I could never ever want for anything more. Oh god, I loved my 20s. INDEED. But for most of them I didnt have my darling Manchop which is just tragic. Maybe my latest crisis is just life dealing me a good hand rather than a bad one. . . it's my little reminder that I'm where I SHOULD be right now, and that any other existance would be downright wrong and terrible. Yeah, sounds good. THATS what I should be focusing on.
But I'm still gonna be pissed in March when I turn 30. I'm gonna need one big friggin vacation to make up for that shit. 30. That's just MESSED UP.
The benefits of old age
I'm so damn old. I feel like I should record this NOW, as I sit here on my 29yearold ass, so that I can look back at this in 10 years and say "ah sure I wasnt that old then."
I was going to write this on sunday but then I got too messed up, thinking about it. I am so friggin old, I can't roll with things anymore.
It's an epidemic, man. I took time out and read Sarah's blog on the same day, and dammit she feels old too. I was at work talking to the guys and they feel old too. My boss feels old, Hannes feels old. . . it's not just me. But then again I hang around a lot of 29-ish types. So THAT must be the common thread.
I played rugby on C's team for a change this past saturday and lo and behold I found out she's only 23. TWENTY THREE!!! I just mistakenly ASSumed that anyone working for RPSwould have to be as old as me.
Then reality struck. . . I was working forNSR in Melb-town when *I* was 24. I had a MSc when I was 24. So it COULD be possible to be a scientist at age 23. Holy balls of fire. What is this world coming to!? I just have this inner feeling that 23 year olds should be running around being immature and calling boys and asking permission to stay out late. Huh?
Oh shit yeah, I almost forgot, reality struck AGAIN when I took another look around at my team on saturday. . . DUDE THEY WERE ALL BABIES!!! Little pudgy-faced, college-kid BABIES!!! I swear that Peter must be like, 20 or something!!! And I proceeded to think. . . shittttttttttt, if C is only 23, then R must be only 23, and feck it even KAREN must be -oh god she might be as old as - 25!?!?!?!?!? THATS STILL A WHOPPING 4 YEARS YOUNGER THAN ME!!! JEEZUS MARYANDJOSEPH I am never playing on THIS team again.
Once the thought hit me, I started to obsess about it. Which affected my playing. It affected my attitude. It affected my ability to be witty, sociable, and outgoing. My shiny personality was stunted for a whole day. I lost my GAME, man, my GAME was nowhere to be found.
Then sunday came. I was sore. SO FRIGGIN SORE. My old body just . . . UGH. (Nothing to do with age, Jill, you didnt stretch like normal, and we won all the tournament games which means 6 Games in 1 day. DUH)
Anyway, now every day I'm looking at myself in the mirror going: "do I look old?" Would I even notice if I had a grey hair? What if I have 20 of them and I just don't know it yet because they're all in the back of my head??!?
I'm starting to ask people how old they think I am. Em said 27 or 28. I love Em. But then again she also was aware that I'm obsessing this week. So maybe she was just blowing smoke up my ass.
Tadgh said he pleads the 5th, the damn bastard. If he thought I looked 27 would he still plead the 5th? Or is he just scared to say "30"?!?
What really freaks me out is that LIAM looked absolutely shocked when I said I was 29, the other day. Like, I didnt ask him or anything, it's just we were talking about ages or birthdays or something and when I mentioned I was 29 he was like "REALLY? Is that all?? Well you're just a baby!" But HOLY HELL he wasn't supposed to say that dammed "REALLY? Is that all??" part!!! WHY DID HE HAVE TO SAY THAT?!?!
Another Thing: People at work know I'm married. Non-americans dont GET married. Or at least they dont get married as young as americans do. So if you're married, that automatically makes you old. (Thanking god I dont have kids yet, or I'd be on suicide watch at this rate). THey know I'm married, so they MUST think I'm old. I'm a pseudo-boss, as well, and you can't be a boss if you're young, right? Strike 2 against wannabe-young jill. I might as well just start writing the obituary.
My obsession must stem from the fact that I was ALWAYS the youngest at stuff. I was always the youngest person to like obscure oldish music like the Allman Brothers, the Flying Burrito Bros, the Dead, The Band and Bob Dylan. I was always dating guys twice my age. I was always the youngest journalist for the ABB magazine. I was the youngest one my older friends ever knew to be reading passe' beatnik poetry. I was worrying about things like politics, human geography issues, and dead philosophers as a teenager. I was the youngest one in my group of old high school teacher-friends. I was always getting attention because I WAS the youngest in these situations. In fact, I guess BEING the youngest at ___whatever___ was my GAME!!!
Now what to do? My game has been stolen by that asshole Father Time! Shit man the only thing I'm the youngest at anymore is having bought a house and relocated intercontinentally about 6 times. But really, who the hell gives a shit about that? That aint gonna pick me up any hotties on the bar this saturday night.
Then again (lets wax philosophical, shall we? just me and you, Blog), I have Hannes and I dont need to pick up hotties and be popular and witty and interesting to utter strangers and older men. Hell, if I started running game on older men these days, I'd have to go find me some friggin 60 year olds! I mean, the 37-40 age group isn't even exotically "older" to me anymore!
And H. thinks I'm sen-bloody-sational regardless of my age (exactly 1.5 years OLDER than him, of COURSE...ugh) and duh, I could never ever want for anything more. Oh god, I loved my 20s. INDEED. But for most of them I didnt have my darling Manchop which is just tragic. Maybe my latest crisis is just life dealing me a good hand rather than a bad one. . . it's my little reminder that I'm where I SHOULD be right now, and that any other existance would be downright wrong and terrible. Yeah, sounds good. THATS what I should be focusing on.
But I'm still gonna be pissed in March when I turn 30. I'm gonna need one big friggin vacation to make up for that shit. 30. That's just MESSED UP.
The benefits of old age
0 Responses to “Oh BALLS I'm old!”
Post a Comment