Friday we became Aunt and Uncle for the first time ever. Given that the mancakes comes from a family of 6 kids, it ain't gonna be the last time either. But it is the first time thus far.
It is with mixed emotions that I now relegate myself to being Aunt J. (or sorry, I suppose we're all Nederlandse praaten in this particular sense, so shall I say "Tante J.")
The underlying current of weirdness being that we don't exactly gel with the Brother in Law. Newbie's dad. When there's 6 siblings in a family, it's no suprise not everyone is best mates with eachother. Oh no. now picture the yin and the yang-est of the 6, and THAT would be my dearly beloved, and his brother, Fruitcake.
The mom is great. submissive in a way (or two), but great.
Secondly, we have a distinct phobia-- Pedophobia. Fear of babies. Children. People's offspring. whatever. With several (but limited) exceptions, of course. There are some great kids out there that we know. But don't make me admit it. So no, I'm not (truthfully, "we're" not) gushing and slobbering and jumping up and down or begging for the great tsunami of baby photos to come crashing our way*. Quite frankly, I'm thinking of putting a digital-photo-spam filter on my inbox, gearing up for what's undoubtedly about to happen.
*Did I mention this is the first grandchild/niece/baby of any kind whatsoever of this generation, in this family? Come on - you tell me, am I exaggerating????
Whatever. What I REALLY hate, is the name. OK , I am unhealthily OBSESSED with names. I may not be a "baby person", but I am hooked on human names. Like, pondering the semantics or ideas or justification or reasoning behind the name that a parent gives to his/her child. It keeps me occupied for hours. HOURS!! I love analyzing the major baby name trends for each year (in Ireland last year, BTW, it was "Emily" for a girl and "James" for a boy. ) I love trash-talking silly phoneticly-spelled madey-uppy names like_"Keylee"and"Daydree", with my friends. I love trying to analyze & understand what the bloody hell would be going through someone's mind at the time they give their new baby girl a name like "Caoimhe" (Irish name of course. Pronounced "KWEE-vah", naturally). Whatever. Opinionated me. I just obsess over names.
Which brings me to my new niece.L-o-b-k-e----as in "rhymes with Blob-kuh". Middle name Anna, assumedly after the many generations of Annas in my husband's family. Dont even get me started on the repeat-o-generational naming game. BTW: I do not have a problem with names just because they aren't english... heck, Anneke (my MIL) is a great dutch name. As long as you live in NL you don't have to spell it for 30000 people per year over the phone or at school or whatever. (There are some pretty messed up Frisian names, BTW, though... Jelmer,Jelle,Jelte,Joke,Fokke,Gooitzen,Reinouw,Foppe... I could go on and on-Blobke is one of them. It's one of those ancient names that only someone in the 1800's would be named. In english, it would be like naming your little kid "Tillie" or "Myrtle") Again, me getting all opinionated ("to each his own" I know! I Know!) and what not but MY POINT IS THEY GOT THE NAME FROM THE DEAD FAMILY DOG. Yes the family dog that died in 2001 at age 3, after severe heart failure followed by subsequent drowning in the shallow canal on the farm. THAT wasLobke. And, look, I know if you ask Fruitcake and the Mrs., they would say "no we did not name her after the dog", but the fact remains there hasn't been a Slobke running around in the whole of Friesland since the 1800s. Or so we believe. Which is why it made such a cute name for a dog. So obviously it's not like they were inspired by someone down the street. Oh can I just say that in my extreme confusion and quandary over this name choice, I decided "what the hell, I'll google it". Let's see what we got:
http://home.hetnet.nl/~c-suijker/lobke_foto.htm
There ye go. Need I say more.
(I think that's a wombat)
The funny thing is that I bet the parents are stewing in their own juices that the kids didn't pick a family name. hee heh. That makes me laugh.
Whatever, I just have to get past the whole anti-baby thing at some stage. And I know I will. I know I'm a compassionate person who likes everybody for the most part, and just because my hubby and his bro don't get along doesnt mean this kid should get an aunt/uncle who doesnt like her. I know, I know. And just because we can't look at her or think about her without either laughing or picturing a hairy, bumbling German Standard having a heart attack and falling into a canal, doesn't mean that we won't buy her all the several thousands of euros worth of gratuitous presents and toys that every kid exploits from their various extended family members....
And I'm prepared for the fallout... kid is gonna have the whole Family W. fawning all over her-- they already all live in the same village with all the other aunts and uncles and cousins and grandparents, etc... so can I just say: it's going to be spoiled rotten before it even gets teeth? But especially by my In-Laws. My MIL is so addicted to babies she had to have 6 herself. We can forget about ever hearing from them again as long as the new little thing is around. But then again, that was never really our "thing" anyway. Preferring our low-profile in the fambly, we weren't all that crazy about what little intermittant attention we DID get there anyway. God knows this might distract them from trying to talk us out of moving to Botswana. Hmmm, actually maybe now they won't even care because they have their new precious package to obsess over! Hey! Everybody wins!
Friggin more baby presents to buy. Bollocks!
Stuffed dog...
It is with mixed emotions that I now relegate myself to being Aunt J. (or sorry, I suppose we're all Nederlandse praaten in this particular sense, so shall I say "Tante J.")
The underlying current of weirdness being that we don't exactly gel with the Brother in Law. Newbie's dad. When there's 6 siblings in a family, it's no suprise not everyone is best mates with eachother. Oh no. now picture the yin and the yang-est of the 6, and THAT would be my dearly beloved, and his brother, Fruitcake.
The mom is great. submissive in a way (or two), but great.
Secondly, we have a distinct phobia-- Pedophobia. Fear of babies. Children. People's offspring. whatever. With several (but limited) exceptions, of course. There are some great kids out there that we know. But don't make me admit it. So no, I'm not (truthfully, "we're" not) gushing and slobbering and jumping up and down or begging for the great tsunami of baby photos to come crashing our way*. Quite frankly, I'm thinking of putting a digital-photo-spam filter on my inbox, gearing up for what's undoubtedly about to happen.
*Did I mention this is the first grandchild/niece/baby of any kind whatsoever of this generation, in this family? Come on - you tell me, am I exaggerating????
Whatever. What I REALLY hate, is the name. OK , I am unhealthily OBSESSED with names. I may not be a "baby person", but I am hooked on human names. Like, pondering the semantics or ideas or justification or reasoning behind the name that a parent gives to his/her child. It keeps me occupied for hours. HOURS!! I love analyzing the major baby name trends for each year (in Ireland last year, BTW, it was "Emily" for a girl and "James" for a boy. ) I love trash-talking silly phoneticly-spelled madey-uppy names like_"Keylee"and"Daydree", with my friends. I love trying to analyze & understand what the bloody hell would be going through someone's mind at the time they give their new baby girl a name like "Caoimhe" (Irish name of course. Pronounced "KWEE-vah", naturally). Whatever. Opinionated me. I just obsess over names.
Which brings me to my new niece.L-o-b-k-e----as in "rhymes with Blob-kuh". Middle name Anna, assumedly after the many generations of Annas in my husband's family. Dont even get me started on the repeat-o-generational naming game. BTW: I do not have a problem with names just because they aren't english... heck, Anneke (my MIL) is a great dutch name. As long as you live in NL you don't have to spell it for 30000 people per year over the phone or at school or whatever. (There are some pretty messed up Frisian names, BTW, though... Jelmer,Jelle,Jelte,Joke,Fokke,Gooitzen,Reinouw,Foppe... I could go on and on-Blobke is one of them. It's one of those ancient names that only someone in the 1800's would be named. In english, it would be like naming your little kid "Tillie" or "Myrtle") Again, me getting all opinionated ("to each his own" I know! I Know!) and what not but MY POINT IS THEY GOT THE NAME FROM THE DEAD FAMILY DOG. Yes the family dog that died in 2001 at age 3, after severe heart failure followed by subsequent drowning in the shallow canal on the farm. THAT wasLobke. And, look, I know if you ask Fruitcake and the Mrs., they would say "no we did not name her after the dog", but the fact remains there hasn't been a Slobke running around in the whole of Friesland since the 1800s. Or so we believe. Which is why it made such a cute name for a dog. So obviously it's not like they were inspired by someone down the street. Oh can I just say that in my extreme confusion and quandary over this name choice, I decided "what the hell, I'll google it". Let's see what we got:
http://home.hetnet.nl/~c-suijker/lobke_foto.htm
There ye go. Need I say more.
(I think that's a wombat)
The funny thing is that I bet the parents are stewing in their own juices that the kids didn't pick a family name. hee heh. That makes me laugh.
Whatever, I just have to get past the whole anti-baby thing at some stage. And I know I will. I know I'm a compassionate person who likes everybody for the most part, and just because my hubby and his bro don't get along doesnt mean this kid should get an aunt/uncle who doesnt like her. I know, I know. And just because we can't look at her or think about her without either laughing or picturing a hairy, bumbling German Standard having a heart attack and falling into a canal, doesn't mean that we won't buy her all the several thousands of euros worth of gratuitous presents and toys that every kid exploits from their various extended family members....
And I'm prepared for the fallout... kid is gonna have the whole Family W. fawning all over her-- they already all live in the same village with all the other aunts and uncles and cousins and grandparents, etc... so can I just say: it's going to be spoiled rotten before it even gets teeth? But especially by my In-Laws. My MIL is so addicted to babies she had to have 6 herself. We can forget about ever hearing from them again as long as the new little thing is around. But then again, that was never really our "thing" anyway. Preferring our low-profile in the fambly, we weren't all that crazy about what little intermittant attention we DID get there anyway. God knows this might distract them from trying to talk us out of moving to Botswana. Hmmm, actually maybe now they won't even care because they have their new precious package to obsess over! Hey! Everybody wins!
Friggin more baby presents to buy. Bollocks!
Stuffed dog...
I swear to god it was a pot bellied pig. And the only thing more frightening than that is the fact that some strange retro dance mix started playing from the page before it was even loaded. I swear, I nearly Lobke'd in my pants.