My Year of Meaningful (2011)

This was SUPPOSED to be my re-cap on the final 1/3 of our trip last week. I even had a title thought up... "Antics in Amsterdam"... photos, everything.

But instead I just need to get this off my chest:
I had the most incredibly terrible event of low, rock-bottom-hitting, self-esteem crash of my life.

I never felt so friggin crappy about myself WHAT IS UP WITH THAT?!

WTF!?!

It just. hit. me. last night.

I played a CRAP game of rugby;
I have random acts of petty hatred and angst for no good reason;
I am ROCK BOTTOM in our World Cup pool;
I do several thousand things half-arsed, but not ONE thing well;
I have a tendency to be a mean selfish cow, particularly to the most perfect, undeserving-of-meanness man in the world;
I tend to skate through everything on luck and not skill;

We went to the pub to watch the Holland v. Argentina game last night when all this occurred to me. I had 3 gins and it STILL didn't go away.

It's just one of those "I generally suck at the moment" ruts.

-sigh-
oh well...
Amsterdam Antics coming soon to a blog entry near me.