Sunday we were childminders.
Our dear friends S&L have 4 children. Those children are aged 1,3,5, and 7.
Those are NOT good ages to have 4 children at the same time.
The 7 y.0. is either pouting because she's being ignored, or screaming because he who screams louder than the 1 year old, gets the grease.
The 5 year old is (mildly) autistic, allergic to every liquid and solid on the planet, and has the most heartbreakingly severe case of eczema ever. Not to mention the little guy has about a 2 minute attention span. Talk about getting dealt a bum hand in life...
The 3 year old was always the scream machine til now. Seems to be simmering down a little bit and turning into a sweet kid, but still WAY too used to getting everything he wants at all times, by screaming.
The 1 year old, just screams. And gets everything he wants, because he's the baby.
Anyway. The office had a big family day at an extremely ghetto-ass family fun park (think county fair+Six Flags combo, without the rides) and the only way S&L would get to go would be if the Mr. and I would come along too, and each take a whippersnapper. They just wouldn't have been able to do it otherwise. Hell, they fed my dogs for 2 weeks while we were in the states at xmas, of course we'd lend a hand.
I don't even know where to begin.
Lawd.
I got 7 y.o., and Hannes got 3 y.o.
Of course the "highlight" for S&L would be "to see all the kids playing and having fun together". OK this was just NOT COOL for me. Myself and 7 y.o. really wanted to go off and do our own things. I mean playground equipment that is 1 y.o. friendly is just NOT fun for 7 y.o. Hey at least she&I have similar interests: "anything away from the little brothers!!!" As far as I was concerned, S&L get to see the whole mob in one place every single day at home, why don't they take advantage of this 2-Childminders-For-Free opportunity to whittle the 6-man-band down to 4, and get a little down-time with less kids?! I just don't get it.
Finally after much negotiating, the Mr., 3 y.o., myself, and 7 y.o. managed to weasel our way into an hour or so of mini-golf, away from the others. That was pretty good. OK, 3 y.o. sucked at hitting the ball, but with some help from me & H., he even got a few holes in less strokes than the rest of us!
Then when it came time for the swimming centre, thank GOD that I was able to whisk 5 y.o. away to the arcade, rather than spend an hour wading around in kiddie pee getting barked at about what the precious packages ARE allowed to do and AREN'T allowed to do in the pool (i.e. "that's too dangerous for 3 y.o... don't let 7 y.o. go there, she can't swim... 1 y.o. won't want to come with you, he's not good with 'strangers' yet...") Poor Hannes... I launched myself and 5 y.o. out of there so fast it would make one's head spin. And left the darling mancakes to the wolves. Before you could say "floating poopie", they had him in a swim cap and threw him in with the fat hairy gold-chain wearin' toothless bogans from up the country. Oh my poor baby!
It was 600 hours long.
Er, uh, I mean 6.
For lunch we ate greasy McBurgers + soft squishy fries at the amuso-cafe and sat at sticky tables in the stink of dirty diapers and the din of SCREEEEEEEEAMING thug children (other people's children, OBVIOUSLY) throwing balls out of the ball pit. There were 4WD Triple-Xtreme strollers crashing into us from all directions. Drinks were spilt. Chicken nuggets were thrown.
Rode home in the van.
But not before we had to look at houses. Oh yes, they need a bigger house. So let's look at some after SIX HOURS OF KIDDIE FUN PARK HELL with the 2 DINKS in the back who just want to go HOME. As far as I'm concerned we've done our good will for the next year at least. PLEASE don't drive me all over hell and half of Georgia to listen to complaints about how "this one is too close to a dangerous bridge", or "that one doesn't have a footpath extending all the way down the block".
Hopefully we weren't too obvious when we literally FLEW out of the van when it pulled up to our house. I love S&L. I don't even mind their rugrats that much. But 4? Kiddie Fun Park Hell? Constant screaming? oh man, not for me, please.
Our dear friends S&L have 4 children. Those children are aged 1,3,5, and 7.
Those are NOT good ages to have 4 children at the same time.
The 7 y.0. is either pouting because she's being ignored, or screaming because he who screams louder than the 1 year old, gets the grease.
The 5 year old is (mildly) autistic, allergic to every liquid and solid on the planet, and has the most heartbreakingly severe case of eczema ever. Not to mention the little guy has about a 2 minute attention span. Talk about getting dealt a bum hand in life...
The 3 year old was always the scream machine til now. Seems to be simmering down a little bit and turning into a sweet kid, but still WAY too used to getting everything he wants at all times, by screaming.
The 1 year old, just screams. And gets everything he wants, because he's the baby.
Anyway. The office had a big family day at an extremely ghetto-ass family fun park (think county fair+Six Flags combo, without the rides) and the only way S&L would get to go would be if the Mr. and I would come along too, and each take a whippersnapper. They just wouldn't have been able to do it otherwise. Hell, they fed my dogs for 2 weeks while we were in the states at xmas, of course we'd lend a hand.
I don't even know where to begin.
Lawd.
I got 7 y.o., and Hannes got 3 y.o.
Of course the "highlight" for S&L would be "to see all the kids playing and having fun together". OK this was just NOT COOL for me. Myself and 7 y.o. really wanted to go off and do our own things. I mean playground equipment that is 1 y.o. friendly is just NOT fun for 7 y.o. Hey at least she&I have similar interests: "anything away from the little brothers!!!" As far as I was concerned, S&L get to see the whole mob in one place every single day at home, why don't they take advantage of this 2-Childminders-For-Free opportunity to whittle the 6-man-band down to 4, and get a little down-time with less kids?! I just don't get it.
Finally after much negotiating, the Mr., 3 y.o., myself, and 7 y.o. managed to weasel our way into an hour or so of mini-golf, away from the others. That was pretty good. OK, 3 y.o. sucked at hitting the ball, but with some help from me & H., he even got a few holes in less strokes than the rest of us!
Then when it came time for the swimming centre, thank GOD that I was able to whisk 5 y.o. away to the arcade, rather than spend an hour wading around in kiddie pee getting barked at about what the precious packages ARE allowed to do and AREN'T allowed to do in the pool (i.e. "that's too dangerous for 3 y.o... don't let 7 y.o. go there, she can't swim... 1 y.o. won't want to come with you, he's not good with 'strangers' yet...") Poor Hannes... I launched myself and 5 y.o. out of there so fast it would make one's head spin. And left the darling mancakes to the wolves. Before you could say "floating poopie", they had him in a swim cap and threw him in with the fat hairy gold-chain wearin' toothless bogans from up the country. Oh my poor baby!
It was 600 hours long.
Er, uh, I mean 6.
For lunch we ate greasy McBurgers + soft squishy fries at the amuso-cafe and sat at sticky tables in the stink of dirty diapers and the din of SCREEEEEEEEAMING thug children (other people's children, OBVIOUSLY) throwing balls out of the ball pit. There were 4WD Triple-Xtreme strollers crashing into us from all directions. Drinks were spilt. Chicken nuggets were thrown.
Rode home in the van.
But not before we had to look at houses. Oh yes, they need a bigger house. So let's look at some after SIX HOURS OF KIDDIE FUN PARK HELL with the 2 DINKS in the back who just want to go HOME. As far as I'm concerned we've done our good will for the next year at least. PLEASE don't drive me all over hell and half of Georgia to listen to complaints about how "this one is too close to a dangerous bridge", or "that one doesn't have a footpath extending all the way down the block".
Hopefully we weren't too obvious when we literally FLEW out of the van when it pulled up to our house. I love S&L. I don't even mind their rugrats that much. But 4? Kiddie Fun Park Hell? Constant screaming? oh man, not for me, please.
DAMN!!!!!!!
I'd be putting needles under my eyelids after that one.
Good on you and the Mr., but for the love of Taco Bell, don't EVER volunteer to do that again.