Not really inspired
0 Comments Published by Oh Wayward One on 01 June 2007 at 6/01/2007 12:39:00 pm.
I don't see this post being very coherent so oh well. Stuff.
They blocked this blog (basically all web addresses of the blogger.com variety) from my old office internet filter so my bestest buddy the Podgey Pie can't read it at work anymore even during lunch! HAHA I'm laughing because it's the first time I've ever been "banned" from anything. But I mourn because now I have to send him all my photos via email. Poo! Balls! Balls of Poo!
F*ck the man!
Speaking of blocked and my old job, I forgot how much I enjoyed reading The Onion online b/c I haven't been able to what with it being one of the blocked "no-no" sites back there at the old place. I only *just* now remembered it and went for my first visit in about 3 years. Now that I am leading a filter-free internet surfing life here, I can read whatever the hell I want. So long as it doesnt involve downloading major media files or streaming.... retardo ADSL here....
Speaking of retardo-anything, I love the Mr. so so so so so much it's retarded. We had a rough patch a couple weeks ago, inclusive of the first time we ever went to bed without making up (boo hoo!) and I was so frustrated it was sick. But as these things sort themselves out (and they always do), it seems like he comes back even more adorable in my eyes and I see that most of the things that were giving us problems are things that he's trying to work out with me, not just fight about. Sometimes I overlook this. I married a guy who actually wants to talk things out when the going gets rough, and that's just the right way to do things. Sometimes my natural instinct is to go head-to-head, when what I should really be doing is remembering to be thankful for the fact that HE sees these things as an opportunity to do some relationship maintenance and uh, "upgrade", where we've backslid. That's life with a Libra for you, and DAMN I'm thankful for it, at the end of the day. I need to remember sometimes that I'm frickin blessed as hell, and that I also have a tendency to be asinine. To this date, I don't have one example of him being asinine. Ever. Reality check, girl. Reality check.
Not to mention right now it feels like we've tackled it and have pocketed the upgrade & I'm on cloud 9 in that department.
In other departments, however, I'm feeling a wee bit edgey. 30 May and 31 May have been a mental struggle for reasons I dont want to jinx by writing down or even thinking any more about.
31 May was my bro's birthday. I called him (shhhh! dont tell mom! she'll get jealous and all crazy and shit!) and that was really nice. It was the first time I got to talk to him (notwithstanding 5-minute intervals of drunk-dialling at 3am from his side) for more than 2 minutes, and we actually talked about some shit. Nothing big, but felt like we actually had a conversation for the first time since xmas 2005. Cool. Sometimes I still freak out when i think he's been out of high school for 10 years.
This weekend is supposed to be fun but a la the title of this post, I'm kinda "eehh" about it. Tonight we're supposed to go to F&L's house for their kid's bday party. See, I just can't get myself to get excited about any kid's bday party. Even though I know Petra will be there, probably Vince & K., and some of the other guys, I know there'll be a bonfire, I know there'll be red wine for us "grownups" (pa-shaw)... blah blah blah I just dont get excited about kiddie parties. Miserable cow AINT I.
Saturday, however, will be the freaky cool Indian Food Festival which I'm stoked about, and then at night it's M's bday and we're supposed to be going over there for dinner & then out on the town. My excite-o-meter is hovering somewhere around "Medium" for that one. Even though I KNOW it'll be kickass once we get there, I'm having a problem getting all up in the rocknroll realm about it. Not because I have anything better to do or anything else I'd much RATHER do, just because........ I dunno.
OH HELL YEAH come to think about it, maybe I do know. Maybe because when you're new in town you HAVE to say yes to everything, and I think that's a bit of a pain in the hole. You HAVE to meet new friends and get a new posse and you HAVE to GET OUT AND DO STUFF. OK this shouldn't be a problem considering I am a true get-out-n'-do typea' gal. But not having the freedom to choose is what's getting me. I mean, take the kiddie party for example:
When it comes to meeting new friends, you have to say yes. It's just a fact of life. If people only get to know you as "those 2 semi-interesting kids fromwho don't ever want to come out", then they stop inviting you. You stop getting face-to-face time with your new friends, and your friendship level stagnates or slips. True. So you just have to say yes. As me, this doesn't gel with my relatively libertarian personality. But on the other hand I'm a social creature and some unfavorable things just have to be done sometimes in order to get to the place where I'm happiest. which is basically: having cool people to hang out with, and being invited to do cool stuff with people you like. relationship building. that kinda stuff.
It has to be done. Sometimes you just gotta suck it up and say "HELL YEAH, kiddie party here I come!"
(still not excited but whatever)
oh yes, astoundingly enough, my dad answered my email from a few days ago. considering I'd feel just a wee bit guilty for reposting every word, just for posterity's sake, I'll record the highlights. Blue for dad again:
Your analysis of the the historical situation (ie the "vicious circle") is accurate. I have been a participant in that circle for 37 years. Can't say that I ever enjoyed the circle, did my fair share of grovelling, and certainly made any number of insincere apologies in order to get the boat back on course. Considering the other options, many of which were tried, appeasement has been the surest way to end the immediate feud and I've swallowed my pride countless times. In recent years I have found that one sincere apology, or acknowledgement of one's insensitivity, followed by a, "If you don't chose to accept this effort, that's your decision. Your unhappiness is in your hands now, because I have made an effort. I do not intend to beg for forgiveness. I do intend to learn from this situation so as to avoid making same mistake again." ..."I made a commitment on January 2, 1971 and I intend to stand by that commitment. Hell, I'm sure that she has more than once wished for another husband, only to come back to the reality that we're stuck with each other, might as well make the best out of it, in sickness and in health, for better or worse, etc. "
Nice! what a positive outlook on life in "Stuckhere&miserable-ville"! The long & short of it is, however, he wants me to dance and I aint dancin. Or as Monseuir Ice-to-tha-Cube would say "and I will NEVER dance for you trick-ass n*ggaz!" I mean, again with the insincere apology phenomenon! Amazing! The gist of the rest of the communication is "but even though I see where you're coming from, please call your mother and try and acquire forgiveness for my sake".
My gut feeling? "forgiveness for WHAT exactly?!", and "learn from WHAT!?" I didn't do any damn thing wrong other than quite possibly letting this ridiculousness continue to manifest itself in my life for 31 years now. guh! again, I aint dancin!
They blocked this blog (basically all web addresses of the blogger.com variety) from my old office internet filter so my bestest buddy the Podgey Pie can't read it at work anymore even during lunch! HAHA I'm laughing because it's the first time I've ever been "banned" from anything. But I mourn because now I have to send him all my photos via email. Poo! Balls! Balls of Poo!
F*ck the man!
Speaking of blocked and my old job, I forgot how much I enjoyed reading The Onion online b/c I haven't been able to what with it being one of the blocked "no-no" sites back there at the old place. I only *just* now remembered it and went for my first visit in about 3 years. Now that I am leading a filter-free internet surfing life here, I can read whatever the hell I want. So long as it doesnt involve downloading major media files or streaming.... retardo ADSL here....
Speaking of retardo-anything, I love the Mr. so so so so so much it's retarded. We had a rough patch a couple weeks ago, inclusive of the first time we ever went to bed without making up (boo hoo!) and I was so frustrated it was sick. But as these things sort themselves out (and they always do), it seems like he comes back even more adorable in my eyes and I see that most of the things that were giving us problems are things that he's trying to work out with me, not just fight about. Sometimes I overlook this. I married a guy who actually wants to talk things out when the going gets rough, and that's just the right way to do things. Sometimes my natural instinct is to go head-to-head, when what I should really be doing is remembering to be thankful for the fact that HE sees these things as an opportunity to do some relationship maintenance and uh, "upgrade", where we've backslid. That's life with a Libra for you, and DAMN I'm thankful for it, at the end of the day. I need to remember sometimes that I'm frickin blessed as hell, and that I also have a tendency to be asinine. To this date, I don't have one example of him being asinine. Ever. Reality check, girl. Reality check.
Not to mention right now it feels like we've tackled it and have pocketed the upgrade & I'm on cloud 9 in that department.
In other departments, however, I'm feeling a wee bit edgey. 30 May and 31 May have been a mental struggle for reasons I dont want to jinx by writing down or even thinking any more about.
31 May was my bro's birthday. I called him (shhhh! dont tell mom! she'll get jealous and all crazy and shit!) and that was really nice. It was the first time I got to talk to him (notwithstanding 5-minute intervals of drunk-dialling at 3am from his side) for more than 2 minutes, and we actually talked about some shit. Nothing big, but felt like we actually had a conversation for the first time since xmas 2005. Cool. Sometimes I still freak out when i think he's been out of high school for 10 years.
This weekend is supposed to be fun but a la the title of this post, I'm kinda "eehh" about it. Tonight we're supposed to go to F&L's house for their kid's bday party. See, I just can't get myself to get excited about any kid's bday party. Even though I know Petra will be there, probably Vince & K., and some of the other guys, I know there'll be a bonfire, I know there'll be red wine for us "grownups" (pa-shaw)... blah blah blah I just dont get excited about kiddie parties. Miserable cow AINT I.
Saturday, however, will be the freaky cool Indian Food Festival which I'm stoked about, and then at night it's M's bday and we're supposed to be going over there for dinner & then out on the town. My excite-o-meter is hovering somewhere around "Medium" for that one. Even though I KNOW it'll be kickass once we get there, I'm having a problem getting all up in the rocknroll realm about it. Not because I have anything better to do or anything else I'd much RATHER do, just because........ I dunno.
OH HELL YEAH come to think about it, maybe I do know. Maybe because when you're new in town you HAVE to say yes to everything, and I think that's a bit of a pain in the hole. You HAVE to meet new friends and get a new posse and you HAVE to GET OUT AND DO STUFF. OK this shouldn't be a problem considering I am a true get-out-n'-do typea' gal. But not having the freedom to choose is what's getting me. I mean, take the kiddie party for example:
When it comes to meeting new friends, you have to say yes. It's just a fact of life. If people only get to know you as "those 2 semi-interesting kids from
It has to be done. Sometimes you just gotta suck it up and say "HELL YEAH, kiddie party here I come!"
(still not excited but whatever)
oh yes, astoundingly enough, my dad answered my email from a few days ago. considering I'd feel just a wee bit guilty for reposting every word, just for posterity's sake, I'll record the highlights. Blue for dad again:
Your analysis of the the historical situation (ie the "vicious circle") is accurate. I have been a participant in that circle for 37 years. Can't say that I ever enjoyed the circle, did my fair share of grovelling, and certainly made any number of insincere apologies in order to get the boat back on course. Considering the other options, many of which were tried, appeasement has been the surest way to end the immediate feud and I've swallowed my pride countless times. In recent years I have found that one sincere apology, or acknowledgement of one's insensitivity, followed by a, "If you don't chose to accept this effort, that's your decision. Your unhappiness is in your hands now, because I have made an effort. I do not intend to beg for forgiveness. I do intend to learn from this situation so as to avoid making same mistake again." ..."I made a commitment on January 2, 1971 and I intend to stand by that commitment. Hell, I'm sure that she has more than once wished for another husband, only to come back to the reality that we're stuck with each other, might as well make the best out of it, in sickness and in health, for better or worse, etc. "
Nice! what a positive outlook on life in "Stuckhere&miserable-ville"! The long & short of it is, however, he wants me to dance and I aint dancin. Or as Monseuir Ice-to-tha-Cube would say "and I will NEVER dance for you trick-ass n*ggaz!" I mean, again with the insincere apology phenomenon! Amazing! The gist of the rest of the communication is "but even though I see where you're coming from, please call your mother and try and acquire forgiveness for my sake".
My gut feeling? "forgiveness for WHAT exactly?!", and "learn from WHAT!?" I didn't do any damn thing wrong other than quite possibly letting this ridiculousness continue to manifest itself in my life for 31 years now. guh! again, I aint dancin!
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