Tired Monday. Oh hell it's just one big bitch session.
0 Comments Published by Oh Wayward One on 10 September 2007 at 9/10/2007 01:28:00 pm.
I'm so tired.
I hate those days when you wake up tired.
I don't have them so much since we moved here as my lifestyle is much less-stress and easy going, it seems I always wake up rested regardless of how many hours I got. But today I was just . . . bleh. Tired.
I think it's because I have mental issues at the moment. I have to re-jig my attitude or something... I definitely have to work on being nicer. The Mr. has been alerting me to my un-nice-ness lately, he's feeling underappreciated and un-loved, and there must be something to it because it's not like he just makes this crap up. And obviously I don't want to be mean (especially to him) because not only does he NOT deserve it, but I've been suspicious of myself becoming old and bitter and mean over the last few years. Old, fine. I know I've gotta get old- but bitter and mean? That's just bad news.
So I'm trying to figure out: "What's the damn story???" Why the bitch-ass meanness and negativity, yo?
I dunno, either way I sense a problem with my attitude. I am very susceptible to complacency and routine-inflicted boredom. Is it that already? No way. couldn't be. Not only am I pretty happy with where I am in this life right now, I find myself watching the World Cup rugby matches this week and going.... "Hmmm. Samoa. That'd probably be a nice place to live, wouldn't it??? Wonder how I could get a job in Samoa..."
Am I experiencing a suppressed feeling of violation by the whole 12-yr-old-breaks-into-house-and-steals-from-you thing?? I hadn't thought about this one til B. brought it up last week in an email and said she could imagine me feeling violated by it. Honestly I hadn't even considered it til then, because, well, ehhhhh... it WASN'T that big a deal, really! But the truth is I had purposefully not been thinking about it since it happened, and then when/if I *am* forced to think about it, I get all uncomfortable thinking about it. What a bunch of nonsense! I'm so annoyed that I even wrote that.
I'm also annoyed by the fact that I'm struggling to get into the physical condition that I want to be in? I'm in good shape right now but with summer weather and 40-degree-C heat coming on, I can see my dedication and persistence having the potential to wane. I want abs of steel but I hate doing the exercises. And that pisses me off with myself. I've recently achieved the whole running-up-the-mountain goal, and now every time we head off to run up it, I HATE IT! I'm sitting here at my desk DREADING IT RIGHT NOW. I complain about it and dread it with the dread of a thousand professional dreadders.
Alan says "It's ok if you don't like it. Just do something else then". See, that's the weird, freakish zen that lives in his Smarty-Pants Engineer-y head. I make a drama out of it, he makes a frickin haiku. AAGHHH!! (of course he's right. Makes me even MORE annoyed!!)
More annoyance: My parents have announced they are coming in July 2008 APPARENTLY. They're going to "swing by Gaborone on their way back from Malawi". What-EVER. This is just the most bizarre story I ever heard - Dad taking Mom on his annual church-work-trip to Malawi that she has vehemently refused to go on for the last 6 years or so that he's been doing it. Now all of a sudden she's fine to do it, and while they're at it, they'll just "pop over" for a few days. As if it's freakin Rhode Island and Connecticut. Note the obvious lack of even a direct flight between here and Lilongwe. So how's that gonna work exactly?
On the up-side,
it was a nice weekend. Friday night we went out on the lash at B&B (we may only have our perma-sober-chauffeur for 2 more weeks now! Gasp!) watching the rugby match and watching people and pervving at girls for our dear sprinter-boy. Saturday I was hungover enough to actually enjoy watching nearly all the rugby matches that were televised throughout the whole day. AND THEN we watched "Talladega Nights: the Ballad of Ricky Bobby" and I laughed and laughed and laughed till I cried. Oh how I do love Will Ferrell movies. I especially loved Sacha Baron Cohen as Jéan Girard. I love him because he's hot (number one), but I also love him (number 2) because the character was so damn funny. And as a Formula 1 fan, I always love a chance to laugh at the rednecks of that silly nascar malarkey.
Sunday was the worst F1 race of the season but we watched that AND THEN MORE RUGBY GAMES... so all in all with the exception of Friday night it was a pretty relaxed and chill weekend.
Oh yes and I planted beds of watermelon and eggplant, too.
My carrots and leeks and red onions are looking good but for some reason the peppers and chillies and coriander are all holding out on me. But it's still WAY early.
This is probably the most pathetic bunch of crap I ever wrote but I'm staring at the screen through half-closed eyes and I can't be arsed. Basically.
I hate those days when you wake up tired.
I don't have them so much since we moved here as my lifestyle is much less-stress and easy going, it seems I always wake up rested regardless of how many hours I got. But today I was just . . . bleh. Tired.
I think it's because I have mental issues at the moment. I have to re-jig my attitude or something... I definitely have to work on being nicer. The Mr. has been alerting me to my un-nice-ness lately, he's feeling underappreciated and un-loved, and there must be something to it because it's not like he just makes this crap up. And obviously I don't want to be mean (especially to him) because not only does he NOT deserve it, but I've been suspicious of myself becoming old and bitter and mean over the last few years. Old, fine. I know I've gotta get old- but bitter and mean? That's just bad news.
So I'm trying to figure out: "What's the damn story???" Why the bitch-ass meanness and negativity, yo?
I dunno, either way I sense a problem with my attitude. I am very susceptible to complacency and routine-inflicted boredom. Is it that already? No way. couldn't be. Not only am I pretty happy with where I am in this life right now, I find myself watching the World Cup rugby matches this week and going.... "Hmmm. Samoa. That'd probably be a nice place to live, wouldn't it??? Wonder how I could get a job in Samoa..."
Am I experiencing a suppressed feeling of violation by the whole 12-yr-old-breaks-into-house-and-steals-from-you thing?? I hadn't thought about this one til B. brought it up last week in an email and said she could imagine me feeling violated by it. Honestly I hadn't even considered it til then, because, well, ehhhhh... it WASN'T that big a deal, really! But the truth is I had purposefully not been thinking about it since it happened, and then when/if I *am* forced to think about it, I get all uncomfortable thinking about it. What a bunch of nonsense! I'm so annoyed that I even wrote that.
I'm also annoyed by the fact that I'm struggling to get into the physical condition that I want to be in? I'm in good shape right now but with summer weather and 40-degree-C heat coming on, I can see my dedication and persistence having the potential to wane. I want abs of steel but I hate doing the exercises. And that pisses me off with myself. I've recently achieved the whole running-up-the-mountain goal, and now every time we head off to run up it, I HATE IT! I'm sitting here at my desk DREADING IT RIGHT NOW. I complain about it and dread it with the dread of a thousand professional dreadders.
Alan says "It's ok if you don't like it. Just do something else then". See, that's the weird, freakish zen that lives in his Smarty-Pants Engineer-y head. I make a drama out of it, he makes a frickin haiku. AAGHHH!! (of course he's right. Makes me even MORE annoyed!!)
More annoyance: My parents have announced they are coming in July 2008 APPARENTLY. They're going to "swing by Gaborone on their way back from Malawi". What-EVER. This is just the most bizarre story I ever heard - Dad taking Mom on his annual church-work-trip to Malawi that she has vehemently refused to go on for the last 6 years or so that he's been doing it. Now all of a sudden she's fine to do it, and while they're at it, they'll just "pop over" for a few days. As if it's freakin Rhode Island and Connecticut. Note the obvious lack of even a direct flight between here and Lilongwe. So how's that gonna work exactly?
On the up-side,
it was a nice weekend. Friday night we went out on the lash at B&B (we may only have our perma-sober-chauffeur for 2 more weeks now! Gasp!) watching the rugby match and watching people and pervving at girls for our dear sprinter-boy. Saturday I was hungover enough to actually enjoy watching nearly all the rugby matches that were televised throughout the whole day. AND THEN we watched "Talladega Nights: the Ballad of Ricky Bobby" and I laughed and laughed and laughed till I cried. Oh how I do love Will Ferrell movies. I especially loved Sacha Baron Cohen as Jéan Girard. I love him because he's hot (number one), but I also love him (number 2) because the character was so damn funny. And as a Formula 1 fan, I always love a chance to laugh at the rednecks of that silly nascar malarkey.
Sunday was the worst F1 race of the season
Oh yes and I planted beds of watermelon and eggplant, too.
My carrots and leeks and red onions are looking good but for some reason the peppers and chillies and coriander are all holding out on me. But it's still WAY early.
This is probably the most pathetic bunch of crap I ever wrote but I'm staring at the screen through half-closed eyes and I can't be arsed. Basically.
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