My Year of Meaningful (2011)

Random acts of weirdness in my life today:

1. I did one of those nifty Facebook quizzes where they tell you the answer to that age old question: "which Karma Sutra Position fits me best?"
Apparently, for me: "THE WHALE AND THE PUFFER FISH!!!" Short description: "This position is crazy and will allow both parties to climax very quickly. To start off this position, the woman will lie down on the bed, with her head on a pillow. Then she will raise her hips and taking her weights on her shoulders and neck. The man will then kneel down in front of her . He will use both his hands to hold her buttock for support and control the movement. The woman every five seconds blows air into her cheeks and lets the spikes protrude from her back. She has become feral. At this point, the whale must calm and soothe the fearful and powerful pufferfish. The whale bellows deeply as the pufferfish slowly releases air through her nose valve...while slowly removing the last of their clothes. Then they do it donkey style; the point when the whale and pufferfish become one in congress."

Niiiiiiiiiiiice.
My question is: who brings the "weights" to the party?

2. My freakshow brother. The one I write off every 6 months or so, but whom then calls at some random hour of the day and speaks about 10 minutes of nonsense and then is gone again like the wind. Today he calls me, cellphone -to- cellphone, so I figure it must be important when I see his name pop up.
Him: "hey, wadderya doin?" Me: "workin. wadderyew doin?" Him: "Hey, who are you votin' for?" Me: "I already voted... how come?" Him: "Juswonderin'. So who're you votin for?" Me: "I already voted for Hillary. Who are you votin for, dammit?" Him: "oh, uh, I dont really know. To tell ya the truth, I prolly won't even vote this year." Me: "Oh come ON, WTF why not?" Him: "well, uh, you know, uh, there really isn't anybody out there like Bush this year so, uh... I just dunno." Me: (clearly annoyed) "Good god, man, but who WOULDJA vote for, hmmm? You know, if you HAD to? If you all of a sudden grew a BRAIN??" Him: (getting antsy) "oh... uh... I really dunno... prolly Giuliani. Like, uh, he's the only one who uh, you know, was really uh... supported people during 9/11..."

The scary thing is that this went on for like, 5 more minutes before I puked all over the cellphone. Wait. I mean before he said he had to go b/c he was talkin' at 5 bucks a minute. But at any rate without dictating the rest of it verbatim, I told him not to even bother voting if he didn't even know what the hell he was talking about and he pretty much agreed with me and that was it. Oh yeah and I threw a line or two in there about the fact that he sounded like he'd been brainwashed by our 88 year old grandfather and that he should actually try and investigate the candidates so as not to just pick someone based his father's opinions, and more importantly, before opening his mouth in public again just yet. He agreed. That was weird. Then he had to go.

~sigh~

Other bizarre occurrences: flooding in my yard?

Well, I'm REALLY getting into this Hillary Clinton autobiography "Living History". It is really well written and a real page-turner. The woman has had an amazing life, which I don't think many people know. I also find myself with so much empathy for her and understanding of where she's coming from. The most strange admiration I'm developing for her is her sheer pride in being a woman. Not that that should shock me or anything, but it's definitely not something I ever expected to be "impressed" by, so to speak. It's just that she was discouraged from doing ANYTHING when she was growing up because she was a girl. She came out of one of those "Father Knows Best/Leave it to Beaver" type households. It was that day and age. She grew up in suburbia in the era of homemakers and teachers and a republican father + closet democrat mother who kept her mouth shut when it came to politics. Her dad swayed her into republican politics and she absorbed every word out of his mouth like a sponge. Then, during her high school years, something clicked and she just started trying to piss everybody off. It's really fascinating. She started becoming obsessed with the multiculturalism of Chicago (where she grew up) and equal opportunity. She participated in forums and took the side of the underdog every time. She even went out east to college at an all-girls' school where it was like an oasis of women's liberation in a time of total suppression. She felt it was like a safe haven there for her to excel and come up big-time, and surrounded by a bunch of like-minded people, she really came into her own there. What I really like about her is that she seems to be a real shit-stirrer in her youth, and that combined with her family background (real psychos ((Her mom was literally held in indentured servitude by her CRAZY great grandmother who wouldn't let her out of the house and psychologically abused her profoundly)) + some real characters), all those years being indoctrinated by the Methodist church, her mental evolution from suburbia to activist, it all just is SO relative to my own life that I can't help but be totally endeared to the girl.

What I REALLY like is her fascination of geography and all things foreign. It makes me assured that she won't turn a blind eye to foreign policy if elected. She's made friends with every single woman in the life of every single male head-of-state along Bill's tenure, and is totally tuned in. One of her favourite holidays ever was with Bill to Botswana. It was one of her best memories, which I think is cool.

OK now I feel like I'm writing a book report. This has got to stop. But it's a really great book.