And Awkwardness Abounds!!!
0 Comments Published by Oh Wayward One on 16 July 2008 at 7/16/2008 09:06:00 am.
I am in a serious rut of awkwardness.
I believe in the universe being aligned or out of alignment, just like peoples' backs and bio mechanics. And for what its worth I'm in a period where the cosmos is just completely messed up with regards to its alignment and how it is affecting MOI in particular.
There's just this awkwardness everywhere. Nothing feels settled and comfortable and "right". It probably all started back before the 'rents got here, and hit an all-time high round about The Great Scrabble Explosion of '08, kept rising with my final exam anxiety, then continued up into the atmosphere when my friend slept with my intern on a camping trip (within ear-shot of ME!!), and kept rocketing skyward with each day of having these eejot 18 year old girls invading my house - catapulting me out of my comfort zone and exercise regime - compounded by finding out that MaP is dissing me behind my back to mutual friends after THE WEEKEND (I've about written her off entirely by now) as well as the fact that I've had to accept the fact that I probably can't physically forgive her. And it doesn't help the situation that we had to go away for work the past couple days and eat hotel food and organize a 2-day outing for these &*$% girls that also (apparently) involved debauchery and sin and questionable escapades on their part.... AND I'm feeling overwhelmed by work, which is my fault because I've been dodging responsibility lately!
I JUST WANT TO FEEL COMFORTABLE AGAIN!!!
Really, it's a combination of feelings of discomfort + plain old disgruntledness. Sometimes I feel like a sad kid at summer camp who sobs "I just want to go home!!" and other times I feel like Bill Murray in "Groundhog Day" in that scene where he's completely FUBAR and slouching dejectedly in front of the same episode of Jeopardy that he's been watching for a hundred days incessantly muttering out loud the answers to the questions before Alex Trebek even gets the words out of his mouth. He just has this *look* on his face. Well, I feel like that look!
Anyway, on the positive side, the 18yos are outta here on friday evening. Thats 2 days away. That night begins a 4-day public holiday weekend for us, in which I plan to do a lot of catching up on sanity, exercise, eating right, and getting my head screwed on straight. I have articles to write for the Animal People, I have 4 neglected puppies to walk, I have emails to catch up on, photos to upload, and general health + well being to get back into.
Also on the positive side, I love the Mr. soooooo much because he is trying his darndest to get me back into a glass-half-full kind of head space. I've been doing a lot of "I feel so uncomfortable in life right now" whinging, and he's been doing a lot of pep talks and cuddles. And that is definitely reason to shape up, I don't want to let him down or worse even BRING him down.
So on that note, I really just need to purge any thoughts of MaP and SILs and all these frustrating eebie jeebie-incurring things that keep happening due to cosmic nonalignment from my mind. Focus.... focus...
I believe in the universe being aligned or out of alignment, just like peoples' backs and bio mechanics. And for what its worth I'm in a period where the cosmos is just completely messed up with regards to its alignment and how it is affecting MOI in particular.
There's just this awkwardness everywhere. Nothing feels settled and comfortable and "right". It probably all started back before the 'rents got here, and hit an all-time high round about The Great Scrabble Explosion of '08, kept rising with my final exam anxiety, then continued up into the atmosphere when my friend slept with my intern on a camping trip (within ear-shot of ME!!), and kept rocketing skyward with each day of having these eejot 18 year old girls invading my house - catapulting me out of my comfort zone and exercise regime - compounded by finding out that MaP is dissing me behind my back to mutual friends after THE WEEKEND (I've about written her off entirely by now) as well as the fact that I've had to accept the fact that I probably can't physically forgive her. And it doesn't help the situation that we had to go away for work the past couple days and eat hotel food and organize a 2-day outing for these &*$% girls that also (apparently) involved debauchery and sin and questionable escapades on their part.... AND I'm feeling overwhelmed by work, which is my fault because I've been dodging responsibility lately!
I JUST WANT TO FEEL COMFORTABLE AGAIN!!!
Really, it's a combination of feelings of discomfort + plain old disgruntledness. Sometimes I feel like a sad kid at summer camp who sobs "I just want to go home!!" and other times I feel like Bill Murray in "Groundhog Day" in that scene where he's completely FUBAR and slouching dejectedly in front of the same episode of Jeopardy that he's been watching for a hundred days incessantly muttering out loud the answers to the questions before Alex Trebek even gets the words out of his mouth. He just has this *look* on his face. Well, I feel like that look!
Anyway, on the positive side, the 18yos are outta here on friday evening. Thats 2 days away. That night begins a 4-day public holiday weekend for us, in which I plan to do a lot of catching up on sanity, exercise, eating right, and getting my head screwed on straight. I have articles to write for the Animal People, I have 4 neglected puppies to walk, I have emails to catch up on, photos to upload, and general health + well being to get back into.
Also on the positive side, I love the Mr. soooooo much because he is trying his darndest to get me back into a glass-half-full kind of head space. I've been doing a lot of "I feel so uncomfortable in life right now" whinging, and he's been doing a lot of pep talks and cuddles. And that is definitely reason to shape up, I don't want to let him down or worse even BRING him down.
So on that note, I really just need to purge any thoughts of MaP and SILs and all these frustrating eebie jeebie-incurring things that keep happening due to cosmic nonalignment from my mind. Focus.... focus...
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