Reducing the Aggro
0 Comments Published by Oh Wayward One on 13 October 2008 at 10/13/2008 10:37:00 am.
what is WITH this particular moment (or, rather, "chunk of time") in the space-time continuum where so much aggro is trying it's darnedest to suck the life out of the Family W.???
All I know is that for like the last, I dunno, 5 or 6 years I/we haven't had to deal with awkwardness and weirdness and confrontation and... all that. (with the odd mother/daughter BS excepted) It was like 5 or 6 years of simple coasting along with no rocking of the boat. OK with one exception: when I quit my job at JKA and the "J" himself got all psycho and yelly and screamy and viciousy and personal-attacky at me because I was leaving. I remember not sleeping well and obsessing over it and feeling horrible for the weeks surrounding that. When was that? OK that must've been 2004. Right, so the last aggro in my life was in 2004. 4 years of smooth sailing.
With what started as the Great Ma P. Debacle in July (June?) and ended up with me wincing my way through the months that followed with that, as well as the DIFFICULT PERSONALITY (x 2) (we'll call them DPs since I don't want to propagate more evilness by going into what I would REALLY have normally wrote) that we have to deal with on the Animal People committee (it's a volunteer organization here people, come ON!) and other assorted related confrontations, it just makes me wonder: HUH?!
WTF!? What is WITH this year??? Is it ME??? Do I attract this stuff??? (But I went for the last 4 years with no aggro??) OK, well then if it's not me, then WTF!??!
Especially when The Mr. gets it, too. I mean HOW can ANYONE get a case of the aggros with The Mr.? Now this is really making me seethe. Could you not get a more agreeable, more sweet, more non-aggro type of guy than the Mr??? He's so "Winky from 'Best in Show' "!!
Ugh, this Animal People DP really bothers me. On the board, The Mr. is the Treasurer, he is devoting his time, his *very rare free time* to doing all their financials, balancing books, paying salaries, organizing monies, paying bills, depositing checks, counting spare change (by the ton), etc etc etc, and this DP is criticizing the way he does it (this person used to do it all, so obviously has control issues), harping on him, demanding financial breakdowns from him on a moment's notice... and then at the same time This Person is plaguing his work email address with more harping and banging on and demands and what-what-what... it's insane. The worst part is that it makes him so angry that he fires rebuttal emails back to This Person in anger and then the whole thing just snowballs into a big load of aggro that keeps him wound up and uncomfortable.
I had to stop him today from sending This Person a snarky email telling This Person that They are welcome to take over his job if they think they could do so much better. Yikes. So he toned it down and sent it without that line but This Person still sent back a snarky email anyway very much loaded with "How dare yous" and "I'm right and you're wrongs!" AGH! Aggro!!
Not a good spin to put on a cause (the animal peeps) that is close to your heart and that you're doing voluntarily because you believe in it. It's this kind of crap that makes people act stand-offish and reluctant to do anything worthwhile for nothing. I know, because I'm getting it too, from the other DP on the committee who's a control freak and won't let me do my job! The other night at the meeting I even said something I regretted (and I'm paying attention these days before I open my mouth) which may not be a big deal in the pit of aggro circumstances that it happened in, but for me and my new goals of being a better person, it was just a big backslide that I totally didn't need on my conscience. Uggggghh. If the universe is really out to get me, what I said (and regretted) will spread like wildfire through the flames of local gossip and then *I'll* look like an a-hole, rather than the real cluprits. We'll just have to wait and see on that one.
Being a non-confrontational personality (OK not in this blog, per se, but in real life), I'm just desperate to scream out "CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG??!?!?!"
Heck I'm even working on it in this blog - now THAT'S progress. I notice my own cuss rate is down at least a few percent. And as for my new positive vs. negative ratio, I think I'm way up. Which makes me happy. What does NOT make me happy is AGGRO!!!! ESPECIALLY when it drags the Mr. into it's nasty clutches. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr........
We are both trying SO HARD these days for self-improvement. Which is why I don't understand the timing of all these confrontational difficulties. Perhaps it's all just a great big test, giving us practice for out in the great big real world, for when we achieve our self improvement goals? I do notice a wee difference in my behaviour, however. That means progress. Where I would've in the past recommended him to "give That Person a verbal ass kicking!! Go on, baby, rip That Person a new ass hole!! That Person deserves no tolerance!!! Here, write what you just screamed out & I'll even proofread it for you when you're done!!" now I'm telling him "Hmmmmm... this might start something worse. Maybe you should just take that last part out?" You know, big picture stuff. -sigh- it's hard. But I'm going to pinch SK's latest quote from her blog which has always been a favourite of mine, but I'm only really grasping it in my personal life over the last couple months, which unfortunately speaks volumes about the "old me" (oops!)
"Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words. Keep your words positive because your words become your behaviors. Keep your behaviors positive because your behaviors become your habits. Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values. Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny."
–Mahatma Mohandas Gandhi
All I know is that for like the last, I dunno, 5 or 6 years I/we haven't had to deal with awkwardness and weirdness and confrontation and... all that. (with the odd mother/daughter BS excepted) It was like 5 or 6 years of simple coasting along with no rocking of the boat. OK with one exception: when I quit my job at JKA and the "J" himself got all psycho and yelly and screamy and viciousy and personal-attacky at me because I was leaving. I remember not sleeping well and obsessing over it and feeling horrible for the weeks surrounding that. When was that? OK that must've been 2004. Right, so the last aggro in my life was in 2004. 4 years of smooth sailing.
With what started as the Great Ma P. Debacle in July (June?) and ended up with me wincing my way through the months that followed with that, as well as the DIFFICULT PERSONALITY (x 2) (we'll call them DPs since I don't want to propagate more evilness by going into what I would REALLY have normally wrote) that we have to deal with on the Animal People committee (it's a volunteer organization here people, come ON!) and other assorted related confrontations, it just makes me wonder: HUH?!
WTF!? What is WITH this year??? Is it ME??? Do I attract this stuff??? (But I went for the last 4 years with no aggro??) OK, well then if it's not me, then WTF!??!
Especially when The Mr. gets it, too. I mean HOW can ANYONE get a case of the aggros with The Mr.? Now this is really making me seethe. Could you not get a more agreeable, more sweet, more non-aggro type of guy than the Mr??? He's so "Winky from 'Best in Show' "!!
Ugh, this Animal People DP really bothers me. On the board, The Mr. is the Treasurer, he is devoting his time, his *very rare free time* to doing all their financials, balancing books, paying salaries, organizing monies, paying bills, depositing checks, counting spare change (by the ton), etc etc etc, and this DP is criticizing the way he does it (this person used to do it all, so obviously has control issues), harping on him, demanding financial breakdowns from him on a moment's notice... and then at the same time This Person is plaguing his work email address with more harping and banging on and demands and what-what-what... it's insane. The worst part is that it makes him so angry that he fires rebuttal emails back to This Person in anger and then the whole thing just snowballs into a big load of aggro that keeps him wound up and uncomfortable.
I had to stop him today from sending This Person a snarky email telling This Person that They are welcome to take over his job if they think they could do so much better. Yikes. So he toned it down and sent it without that line but This Person still sent back a snarky email anyway very much loaded with "How dare yous" and "I'm right and you're wrongs!" AGH! Aggro!!
Not a good spin to put on a cause (the animal peeps) that is close to your heart and that you're doing voluntarily because you believe in it. It's this kind of crap that makes people act stand-offish and reluctant to do anything worthwhile for nothing. I know, because I'm getting it too, from the other DP on the committee who's a control freak and won't let me do my job! The other night at the meeting I even said something I regretted (and I'm paying attention these days before I open my mouth) which may not be a big deal in the pit of aggro circumstances that it happened in, but for me and my new goals of being a better person, it was just a big backslide that I totally didn't need on my conscience. Uggggghh. If the universe is really out to get me, what I said (and regretted) will spread like wildfire through the flames of local gossip and then *I'll* look like an a-hole, rather than the real cluprits. We'll just have to wait and see on that one.
Being a non-confrontational personality (OK not in this blog, per se, but in real life), I'm just desperate to scream out "CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG??!?!?!"
Heck I'm even working on it in this blog - now THAT'S progress. I notice my own cuss rate is down at least a few percent. And as for my new positive vs. negative ratio, I think I'm way up. Which makes me happy. What does NOT make me happy is AGGRO!!!! ESPECIALLY when it drags the Mr. into it's nasty clutches. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr........
We are both trying SO HARD these days for self-improvement. Which is why I don't understand the timing of all these confrontational difficulties. Perhaps it's all just a great big test, giving us practice for out in the great big real world, for when we achieve our self improvement goals? I do notice a wee difference in my behaviour, however. That means progress. Where I would've in the past recommended him to "give That Person a verbal ass kicking!! Go on, baby, rip That Person a new ass hole!! That Person deserves no tolerance!!! Here, write what you just screamed out & I'll even proofread it for you when you're done!!" now I'm telling him "Hmmmmm... this might start something worse. Maybe you should just take that last part out?" You know, big picture stuff. -sigh- it's hard. But I'm going to pinch SK's latest quote from her blog which has always been a favourite of mine, but I'm only really grasping it in my personal life over the last couple months, which unfortunately speaks volumes about the "old me" (oops!)
"Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words. Keep your words positive because your words become your behaviors. Keep your behaviors positive because your behaviors become your habits. Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values. Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny."
–Mahatma Mohandas Gandhi
Labels: aggro, animal peeps, QSI, The Mr.
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