Checking Out (Mindfully)
0 Comments Published by Oh Wayward One on 04 November 2009 at 11/04/2009 03:05:00 pm.
Good grief I have gotten a lot of work done in the last 3 weeks. It hasn't been fun but I made progress. And THANK GOD I've been doing this mindfulness class all the while, or I really would've lost my mind! I don't even know how to explain it, not that it matters as I know it's only interesting to me, but somehow I managed to do it all, and it's a real chicken-and-egg thing because focussing my mind has helped get things done, and getting things done helps focussing the mind. I'm just happy to be alive, after what I've managed to get through!
Wow. I kinda checked out of life there in order to TCB, but I highly recommend mindfulness, extra coffee, dropping out, and generally wandering through life in a self-hypnosis cloud for 3 weeks. I just realized the other day, I *AM* Peter Gibbons in "Office Space" right now. That scene where he comes to - in the hypnotist's office after the fat Dr. has keeled over from a heart attack, and looks blankly at his own hands, smiles, and Hawaiian music starts playing in the background....? That is totally me! There's no other way to explain it! It's amazing! The answering machine is blowing up and I don't notice... the girlfriend is screaming profanities and I don't hear.... I'm strolling into meetings late and in shorts... "I don't really like my job, and I don't think I'm gonna go anymore!" That's me!
Luckily I had the Mr. to pick up some slack when I needed, but it's amazing, I somehow feel like I didn't actually leave behind that much slack! Nuts. This is something I've been trying to master for the last however many years, and I feel like I finally got it. At first I started out feeling lonely because I haven't had any fun with anyone else, while writing papers and swimming through research up to my eyeballs, but that's what I mean about "checking out". Drop off the key at the front desk and get sucked out the revolving door into a vaccuum. I mean why not? No one gives a rat's ass about whether I'm "in" really, anyway, when it comes right down to it. So, I limited myself to (per week): 1 hash + 1 gym workout + 1 mindfulness class (just to not forget what humans look like) + 1 big liberating "F you!"email blocker on all Animal Peeps issues + 0 hours practicing musical instruments + minimal music listening and about 1 tv show. That, in turn, yeilded: 1 developed thesis proposal + 1 critical essay for Research Methods + 1 draft assignment on diabetics in the emergency services + 1 clean conscience at work + 0 social-related drama + a very low phone bill. Not a bad outcome.
I'll admit at first I was sad about missing things like the Farmers' Market and the animal peeps' Bowls Day, but you get numb to it after awhile.
If I can just make it through til 8 December, when my exams are over and my 3 final assignments are turned in, I'm gonna have one hell of a party, and enjoy it mindfully, but still get really, really, freakin smashed.
Wow. I kinda checked out of life there in order to TCB, but I highly recommend mindfulness, extra coffee, dropping out, and generally wandering through life in a self-hypnosis cloud for 3 weeks. I just realized the other day, I *AM* Peter Gibbons in "Office Space" right now. That scene where he comes to - in the hypnotist's office after the fat Dr. has keeled over from a heart attack, and looks blankly at his own hands, smiles, and Hawaiian music starts playing in the background....? That is totally me! There's no other way to explain it! It's amazing! The answering machine is blowing up and I don't notice... the girlfriend is screaming profanities and I don't hear.... I'm strolling into meetings late and in shorts... "I don't really like my job, and I don't think I'm gonna go anymore!" That's me!
Luckily I had the Mr. to pick up some slack when I needed, but it's amazing, I somehow feel like I didn't actually leave behind that much slack! Nuts. This is something I've been trying to master for the last however many years, and I feel like I finally got it. At first I started out feeling lonely because I haven't had any fun with anyone else, while writing papers and swimming through research up to my eyeballs, but that's what I mean about "checking out". Drop off the key at the front desk and get sucked out the revolving door into a vaccuum. I mean why not? No one gives a rat's ass about whether I'm "in" really, anyway, when it comes right down to it. So, I limited myself to (per week): 1 hash + 1 gym workout + 1 mindfulness class (just to not forget what humans look like) + 1 big liberating "F you!"email blocker on all Animal Peeps issues + 0 hours practicing musical instruments + minimal music listening and about 1 tv show. That, in turn, yeilded: 1 developed thesis proposal + 1 critical essay for Research Methods + 1 draft assignment on diabetics in the emergency services + 1 clean conscience at work + 0 social-related drama + a very low phone bill. Not a bad outcome.
I'll admit at first I was sad about missing things like the Farmers' Market and the animal peeps' Bowls Day, but you get numb to it after awhile.
If I can just make it through til 8 December, when my exams are over and my 3 final assignments are turned in, I'm gonna have one hell of a party, and enjoy it mindfully, but still get really, really, freakin smashed.
0 Responses to “Checking Out (Mindfully)”
Post a Comment