My Year of Meaningful (2011)

Everyone is gone!
Well except for me, The Mr. and The Joo and The Pups.

One thing I'm going to attempt this year (2010) is to put one of the classic "mom rules" into place, and I highly encourage everyone else out there to do the same.  That old adage is:  "if you can't say anything nice, PUT A FRICKIN SOCK IN IT!"     After spending the last 2 weeks with someone who is (in my humble opinion) the dead opposite of the eternal optimist (what would that be?  "temporary pessimist"?), I can see how one's negativity and constant half-empty attitude can weigh on those around us.  Lesson learned.  And I don't want this to be a pot-kettle thing, I'm saying it's something that *I* can use work on too.  It's too easy to just break the silence with a complaint or a negative judgement of something.   It's easier to say "OMG I HATE the idea of going back to work tomorrow" (which believe me, has been sitting on the tip of my tounge for days now) than it is to actually take on the mental task of searching for something optimistic or complimentary to say....  not necessarily about work or the end of the holidays or anything, but even something as arbitrary as "Damn! I sure do love me some cherry tomatoes!" would work, and it doesn't color everybody else's atmosphere BLACK.

I'm just realizing this is going back to my favourite Gandhi quote that I've blogged about before, dammit, it's so easy to slip: "Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words. Keep your words positive because your words become your behaviors. Keep your behaviors positive because your behaviors become your habits. Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values. Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny!"

Here are some alternatives I have encountered just in the last 24 hours where I could see that this would've come in handy (heard throughout the house - not just attributed to me or any other one person):
"I dont want to go to work tomorrow"
"I just feel so out of shape and lame"
"Don't you think she's ugly?"
"You'll never be able to pull that off"
"It'll probably all just go to shit anyway"
"I hate gardening"

OK I'm sure it all depends on context, and I realize that in the right situation/circumstances, any one of the above could've been a perfectly pleasant conversation starter or totally relevant and lovely.  But I know the context(s) here, and trust me, it was all doom & gloom & moan & groan.  And the main point:  TOTALLY UNNECESSARY!  Bringing no quality to the room, atmosphere, etc.  Seriously, I mean what value?

Anyway, just an observation and room for improvement.
I just discussed the above (after I had written it, and before finishing) with Brandon and realize that it is not a solution to the root cause of general unhappiness - for that, you have to work on the deep stuff - but what my point is, is that it's a quantifyable "doable" way to combat general negativity.  That by simply self-censoring 3 sentences a day (such as the above), you automatically subtract the general amount of negativity in the universe by 3.  It's the first step on the path to Gandhi's mantra.  And how is that a bad thing?  It's a good thing, it's something do-able.  Right, so I'm at least making an attempt.

Labels: 2010