How *NOT* to do it, 2010-style.
1 Comments Published by Oh Wayward One on 12 January 2010 at 1/12/2010 03:49:00 pm.
OK fer real.
File this one under "are you serious?"
This is an excerpt from a "Christmas letter" (you know the ones.... the big long 20 paragraph jobs that you write and then print off 30 copies of and address to everyone you know) that we got from our old ex-neighbours (at the old house, here), who also happen to be in the bird club with us.
I should've known to steer clear when The Mr., who forwarded it to me from our work email, wrote in the message: "Warning: it is a pretty negative letter, reading page 3 just made me annoyed and angry, we do not need these type of letters / people / comments around us in 2010!" But eventually after 3 weeks of ignoring it in my inbox, I gave in and had to give it a look-see.
This is just an excerpt - the first 1/2 of it was mainly "our grandchildren are doing this, our kids are doing that, we've been travelling here and there, and what what what"...
Warning: Break out whatever brand of humor therapy you choose, for immediate antecdote usage, after reading.
----------------
The world stays mad. Imagine awarding the Nobel Peace prize to the President of the most aggressive nation in the world. How can Marie Theresa be compared with the leader of the world’s largest terrorist organisation? The mind boggles. So what lies ahead for 2010? Do you think that the problems with the US$ and the PIGS (Portugal, Ireland, Greece and Spain) are going to disappear and we will live happily ever after? Going by Chinese astrology, the year of the 'Yellow Metal Tiger' begins on February 13, 2010. The yellow metal has not done too badly over the last ten years, but you “aint seen nuttin yet”. The Chinese mind is hugely superstitious.... so watch its effect on gold. Or even better, act before they do and be positioned for the trade of the century. Is inflation coming or is inflation coming? Is the dollar going to crash much lower? Watch this spot.
One of the most frustrating things in our lives has been power failures on a regular basis. Our power corporation is USELESS, much like Escom and the South African authorities who inherited a first class organisation, (Interjection by me: yes, this is a veiled reference to "post-apartheid" and what "they" have "inherited") but refused to maintain and increase production levels to satisfy demand. What a combined bunch of bozos, or better still, idiots, whose incompetence will be with us for a long time! Maintenance has never been a strong feature of African culture. We have regular power outages in the mornings and evenings, so we go to bed early just like the old days....... But it has been detrimental to the baking of Christmas goodies, cakes and puddings. With no power we have no computer and no phone and no water and no TV and no oven. Candles are so useful these days.
Security where we live our idyllic retirement, has been a big issue and cause of stress. To those of you who are enthralled by the writings of Alexander McCall Smith concerning the wonderful No 1 Ladies Detective Agency and harmony in Botswana, this is akin to Alice in Wonderland. Crime prevention and case solving simply don’t exist in our community. As bad as the Botswana Power Corporation and telecommunications are, the police force is worse still. A gang of four thugs has been terrorising the neighbourhood for six months. We, us, the authors of this letter, had prowlers or break-ins on five occasions this last year. There have been two break-ins a night on average in this neighbourhood. Guess how many arrests have been made? A big fat zero. H. is now self-appointed head of security in the area and we have instituted several initiatives to combat crime, but do not expect the police to do anything, although they express keen interest in sorting out the situation.
Botswana was supposed to have been the model state of Africa. Sorry, it does not exist. We are surrounded by incompetence and ineptitude at every turn. The most depressing thing is that we have tried so hard over the years to improve the lot of competent locals. The place is shambolic. The power and security situations epitomise the whole catastrophe. And it is probably going to get worse. Our trip to the Congo this year to visit A. and R. gave us a glimpse of what could lie ahead for Botswana and SA. The only thing which has set Botswana apart is the lack of wholesale corruption. But we think incompetence will drown the nation instead. Please don’t get us wrong. There are Batswana who are intelligent, bright, with drive and ambition. Sadly there are not enough to go round.
Some of these problems are insoluble and we cannot see what to do about them. But there is much material for my evening prayers as I ask for forgiveness for my trespasses and evil thoughts and try to forgive those who trespass against me.
And now we have to write a Christmas letter of good cheer, and love thy neighbour as thyself. That is another thing. There is absolutely no hope for Africa.... (then some more stuff about family and blah blah blah)
--------------------
Riiiiight!!!
And a Merry Frickin Christmas to you, too! O - M - G.
Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeez, like why don't you send me the gun to shoot myself with, in that little holiday envelope of goodies, hmmm?
File this one under "are you serious?"
This is an excerpt from a "Christmas letter" (you know the ones.... the big long 20 paragraph jobs that you write and then print off 30 copies of and address to everyone you know) that we got from our old ex-neighbours (at the old house, here), who also happen to be in the bird club with us.
I should've known to steer clear when The Mr., who forwarded it to me from our work email, wrote in the message: "Warning: it is a pretty negative letter, reading page 3 just made me annoyed and angry, we do not need these type of letters / people / comments around us in 2010!" But eventually after 3 weeks of ignoring it in my inbox, I gave in and had to give it a look-see.
This is just an excerpt - the first 1/2 of it was mainly "our grandchildren are doing this, our kids are doing that, we've been travelling here and there, and what what what"...
Warning: Break out whatever brand of humor therapy you choose, for immediate antecdote usage, after reading.
----------------
The world stays mad. Imagine awarding the Nobel Peace prize to the President of the most aggressive nation in the world. How can Marie Theresa be compared with the leader of the world’s largest terrorist organisation? The mind boggles. So what lies ahead for 2010? Do you think that the problems with the US$ and the PIGS (Portugal, Ireland, Greece and Spain) are going to disappear and we will live happily ever after? Going by Chinese astrology, the year of the 'Yellow Metal Tiger' begins on February 13, 2010. The yellow metal has not done too badly over the last ten years, but you “aint seen nuttin yet”. The Chinese mind is hugely superstitious.... so watch its effect on gold. Or even better, act before they do and be positioned for the trade of the century. Is inflation coming or is inflation coming? Is the dollar going to crash much lower? Watch this spot.
One of the most frustrating things in our lives has been power failures on a regular basis. Our power corporation is USELESS, much like Escom and the South African authorities who inherited a first class organisation, (Interjection by me: yes, this is a veiled reference to "post-apartheid" and what "they" have "inherited") but refused to maintain and increase production levels to satisfy demand. What a combined bunch of bozos, or better still, idiots, whose incompetence will be with us for a long time! Maintenance has never been a strong feature of African culture. We have regular power outages in the mornings and evenings, so we go to bed early just like the old days....... But it has been detrimental to the baking of Christmas goodies, cakes and puddings. With no power we have no computer and no phone and no water and no TV and no oven. Candles are so useful these days.
Security where we live our idyllic retirement, has been a big issue and cause of stress. To those of you who are enthralled by the writings of Alexander McCall Smith concerning the wonderful No 1 Ladies Detective Agency and harmony in Botswana, this is akin to Alice in Wonderland. Crime prevention and case solving simply don’t exist in our community. As bad as the Botswana Power Corporation and telecommunications are, the police force is worse still. A gang of four thugs has been terrorising the neighbourhood for six months. We, us, the authors of this letter, had prowlers or break-ins on five occasions this last year. There have been two break-ins a night on average in this neighbourhood. Guess how many arrests have been made? A big fat zero. H. is now self-appointed head of security in the area and we have instituted several initiatives to combat crime, but do not expect the police to do anything, although they express keen interest in sorting out the situation.
Botswana was supposed to have been the model state of Africa. Sorry, it does not exist. We are surrounded by incompetence and ineptitude at every turn. The most depressing thing is that we have tried so hard over the years to improve the lot of competent locals. The place is shambolic. The power and security situations epitomise the whole catastrophe. And it is probably going to get worse. Our trip to the Congo this year to visit A. and R. gave us a glimpse of what could lie ahead for Botswana and SA. The only thing which has set Botswana apart is the lack of wholesale corruption. But we think incompetence will drown the nation instead. Please don’t get us wrong. There are Batswana who are intelligent, bright, with drive and ambition. Sadly there are not enough to go round.
Some of these problems are insoluble and we cannot see what to do about them. But there is much material for my evening prayers as I ask for forgiveness for my trespasses and evil thoughts and try to forgive those who trespass against me.
And now we have to write a Christmas letter of good cheer, and love thy neighbour as thyself. That is another thing. There is absolutely no hope for Africa.... (then some more stuff about family and blah blah blah)
--------------------
Riiiiight!!!
And a Merry Frickin Christmas to you, too! O - M - G.
Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeez, like why don't you send me the gun to shoot myself with, in that little holiday envelope of goodies, hmmm?
..........UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.....