Oh my GRIEF. And stress before travelling.
0 Comments Published by Oh Wayward One on 11 February 2010 at 2/11/2010 12:47:00 pm.
Joy of owning a small business No. 436:
Finding PORN on the office printer and having to detective out WHOSE IT IS....
Luckily, after the obligatory group-beatdown, the culprit confessed. I will spare their image in the eyes of my 2 friends who read this, and keep their identity a secret but FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PEOPLE.... COME ON!!!! GET IT TOGETHER!!!! IF YOUR MARRIAGE IS SUFFERING DUE TO LACK OF SEXUAL EXPERIENCE, DON'T DO YOUR DO-IT-YOURSELF RESEARCH ON YOUR OFFICE PC AND THEN CANCEL THE PRINTJOB HALFWAY THROUGH!!!
Luckily we're talking instructural manual-type-stuff here, and not.... but still.
So yes, the culprit confessed, The Mr. served up the confrontory talk with "this person", ending it on the "we're going to have to decide what we're going to do about this" note, mentioning that now his & my trip to Cape Town is probably going to have to be the venue for this debate on how to handle the situation (guilt!), and left it at that.
I will give my speech this afternoon or on Tuesday when I'm back in the office.
It will go something to the effect of:
"SINCE IT HAS BEEN MADE OBVIOUS TO THE DIRECTORS OF THIS COMPANY THAT REGARDLESS OF HOW MUCH WE *THOUGHT* WE COULD TRUST EVEN THE MOST TRUSTWORTHY EMPLOYEE OF THIS OFFICE, YOU PEOPLE STILL WANT TO BEHAVE LIKE GOVERNMENT EMPLOYEES..... WELL, IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT, THEN PREPARE TO BE TREATED LIKE GOVERNMENT EMPLOYEES FROM THIS POINT FORWARD."
"FROM NOW ON WE WILL CARRY OUT SPOT CHECKS ON INTERNET HISTORIES, EMAILS IN AND OUT, AS WELL AS DELETED MATERIALS. SHOULD WE FIND THAT HISTORIES HAVE BEEN CLEARED, RECYCLE BINS EMPTIED, OR OTHER COVERUP METHODS USED, WE WILL ASSUME YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO HIDE, AND WILL HANDLE YOUR ACTIONS ACCORDINGLY. MY CO-DIRECTOR AND I WILL BE INSTALLING PRINT COUNTERS ON ALL PRINTERS, AND CALL MONITORS ON THE TELEPHONE. YOU WILL BE CHARGED EVERY CENT OWED TO THIS COMPANY FOR EVERY LAST SHRED OF PAPER OR DROP OF INK USED FOR YOUR PERSONAL INTERESTS. AT PRESENT, I AM TEMPTED TO CHARGE EACH ONE OF YOU FOR AN EXTRA COLOUR INK CARTRIDGE FOR THE LASER JET PRINTER, SEEING AS IT HAS OBVIOUSLY BEEN MISUNDERSTOOD THAT OUR EQUIPMENT IS HERE FOR YOUR PERSONAL USE."
"ADDITIONALLY, SINCE YOU WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE GOVERNMENT WORKERS, IT IS OBVIOUS THAT MANAGEMENT MUST BE PRESENT AT ALL TIMES TO BABYSIT YOU DURING THE HOURS THAT YOU 'REQUIRE' TO STAY LATE OR START EARLY IN ORDER TO 'FINISH YOUR WORK'. BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY WE CAN NOT TRUST WHAT GOES ON HERE IN THIS OFFICE DURING THE TIMES THAT WE ARE NOT AROUND. THIS RESULTS IN AN EMBARGO ON ANY OVERTIME YOU HOPE TO ACCOMPLISH, MEANING IF YOU DO NOT GET YOUR WORK DONE BETWEEN THE HOURS THAT YOU ARE SCHEDULED TO BE HERE, YOU ARE FROM THIS POINT FORWARD, IN DEBT TO THIS COMPANY AND WILL BE ASKED TO MAKE UP YOUR WORKING TIME AT THE DISGRESSION OF THE DIRECTORS, WHEN AND WHERE THEY INSTRUCT YOU TO DO SO. IT APPEARS THAT WE NOW MUST ALSO ALTER *OUR* SCHEDULES, TO ENSURE THAT ONE OF US IS HERE AT 7:30AM EVERY MORNING, TO BABYSIT YOU. THANKS. WE REALLY APPRECIATE THAT."
"I AM SO DISGUSTED WITH WHAT IS OBVIOUSLY GOING ON HERE IN MY (OUR) ABSENCE, THAT I AM TEMPTED TO PUNISH YOU ALL BY CANCELLING OUR CHRISTMAS DINNER IN MARCH. HOWEVER, I REALIZE THAT THE CULPRIT HAS APOLOGIZED TO THE REST OF YOU, AND AM SURE THAT I SHOULD REFRAIN FROM PUNISHING THE GROUP FURTHER, DUE TO THIS PERSON'S STUPIDITY. HOWEVER! LET ME REMIND YOU THAT THE FIRST PERSON WHO SO MUCH AS EVEN *THINKS* ABOUT MAKING ONE PERSONAL PHONE CALL, PRINTING OUT ONE SINGLE PHOTOGRAPH ON ANY PRINTER IN HERE, OR OPENING UP ONE SINGLE NON-WORK RELATED WEBSITE ON ONE OF THESE COMPUTERS, WILL FIND THEMSELVES NOT ONLY IN POSSESSION OF AN INVOICE ON BEHALF OF THIS COMPANY FOR RESOURCES SQUANDERED, BUT ALSO FOR TIME WASTED AS BILLABLE HOURS ON TOP OF THAT. A WRITTEN WARNING WILL ALSO BE INCLUDED. AS YOU KNOW, DUE TO LABOUR LAWS IN THIS COUNTRY, TERMINATION IS ACCEPTABLE AFTER 2 WRITTEN WARNINGS. WE WILL NOT HESITATE TO DO SO."
"SO IN CONCLUSION! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. WE ARE NOT MESSING AROUND ANYMORE. PREPARE TO EXPERIENCE A SHIFT IN ATTITUDE TOWARDS PERSONAL FREEDOMES AROUND THIS OFFICE, IN THE FUTURE. IF THIS UPSETS YOU, YOU ALL KNOW WHO TO THANK. THAT IS ALL. *GOOD DAY, SIRS!!*"
I think that pretty much sums it up.... We probably wouldn't be so furious if it hadn't happened the way it happened. How? Welllll.... The Mr. and R. (visiting biofuels expert consultant, working on The Mr.'s project that he is running) both sent print jobs to the color printer this morning. They were standing around said printer having a chat, when 10 pages of nekkit lovers start flowing out (again - picture kama sutra type stuff here... nothing twisted or XXX rated or anything)... LUCKILY, The Mr. catches the papers and R. doesn't see anything because he's *just* moved away from the machine. CAN YOU IMAGINE!??
As The Mr. explained to Culprit during their man-to-man about this, not only would this have embarassed us as a company in front of this highly respected visitor, who knows what kind of viruses he is bringing into our network, what kind of kiddie or animal or whatever type filth he could've clicked on that would've sent red flags up in Big Brother's House and sent the internet cops after us?? Not to mention that our internet service provider, who is a FRIEND OF OURS can monitor every page visited from their end??? WTF!??!
Anyway, it's been an interesting day so far.
Not to mention I'm supposed to be getting ready for our trip tomorrow morning!!!
But now, The Mr. tells me we all have to go over to this rich Indian guy's house for a big fat dinner tonight, because he's hosting The Mr.'s research team and everyone HAS to go. Including me & the JuJu Lady. And it STARTS at 8:30pm. GREAT. I've gotta get paperwork ready, I've gotta pack, I've gotta do a bunch of CRAP and now I've got no time to do it in!! AGH!
But I have to support The Mr. here. He has done a great job this week of hosting a conference/workshop, a bunch of visiting experts, and shuffling them all around, lecturing, demonstrating, presenting, writing, and just generally TCB for this huge project that he has landed us all by himself. He is a management machine this week. True, I haven't seen him at all this week because of it. True, it's so stressful he can't sleep at night. True, I ended up entertaining 5 visiting scientists from India & Swaziland on my verandah last night drinking my beer and eating my peanuts at 8pm because of it. And now, it looks like I've gotta mobilize our family for our trip all by myself between the hours of what, midnight and 2am this evening?? Because of a dinner?? But whatever. I can do it. I'm not a hundred years old or something. I'm just gonna need some luck and some super-organized lists.
In the meantime, I'm just looking forward to seeing the ocean out my hotel window while eating room service food in bed, sometime within the next 48 hours. ahhh bliss.
Finding PORN on the office printer and having to detective out WHOSE IT IS....
Luckily, after the obligatory group-beatdown, the culprit confessed. I will spare their image in the eyes of my 2 friends who read this, and keep their identity a secret but FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PEOPLE.... COME ON!!!! GET IT TOGETHER!!!! IF YOUR MARRIAGE IS SUFFERING DUE TO LACK OF SEXUAL EXPERIENCE, DON'T DO YOUR DO-IT-YOURSELF RESEARCH ON YOUR OFFICE PC AND THEN CANCEL THE PRINTJOB HALFWAY THROUGH!!!
Luckily we're talking instructural manual-type-stuff here, and not.... but still.
So yes, the culprit confessed, The Mr. served up the confrontory talk with "this person", ending it on the "we're going to have to decide what we're going to do about this" note, mentioning that now his & my trip to Cape Town is probably going to have to be the venue for this debate on how to handle the situation (guilt!), and left it at that.
I will give my speech this afternoon or on Tuesday when I'm back in the office.
It will go something to the effect of:
"SINCE IT HAS BEEN MADE OBVIOUS TO THE DIRECTORS OF THIS COMPANY THAT REGARDLESS OF HOW MUCH WE *THOUGHT* WE COULD TRUST EVEN THE MOST TRUSTWORTHY EMPLOYEE OF THIS OFFICE, YOU PEOPLE STILL WANT TO BEHAVE LIKE GOVERNMENT EMPLOYEES..... WELL, IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT, THEN PREPARE TO BE TREATED LIKE GOVERNMENT EMPLOYEES FROM THIS POINT FORWARD."
"FROM NOW ON WE WILL CARRY OUT SPOT CHECKS ON INTERNET HISTORIES, EMAILS IN AND OUT, AS WELL AS DELETED MATERIALS. SHOULD WE FIND THAT HISTORIES HAVE BEEN CLEARED, RECYCLE BINS EMPTIED, OR OTHER COVERUP METHODS USED, WE WILL ASSUME YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO HIDE, AND WILL HANDLE YOUR ACTIONS ACCORDINGLY. MY CO-DIRECTOR AND I WILL BE INSTALLING PRINT COUNTERS ON ALL PRINTERS, AND CALL MONITORS ON THE TELEPHONE. YOU WILL BE CHARGED EVERY CENT OWED TO THIS COMPANY FOR EVERY LAST SHRED OF PAPER OR DROP OF INK USED FOR YOUR PERSONAL INTERESTS. AT PRESENT, I AM TEMPTED TO CHARGE EACH ONE OF YOU FOR AN EXTRA COLOUR INK CARTRIDGE FOR THE LASER JET PRINTER, SEEING AS IT HAS OBVIOUSLY BEEN MISUNDERSTOOD THAT OUR EQUIPMENT IS HERE FOR YOUR PERSONAL USE."
"ADDITIONALLY, SINCE YOU WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE GOVERNMENT WORKERS, IT IS OBVIOUS THAT MANAGEMENT MUST BE PRESENT AT ALL TIMES TO BABYSIT YOU DURING THE HOURS THAT YOU 'REQUIRE' TO STAY LATE OR START EARLY IN ORDER TO 'FINISH YOUR WORK'. BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY WE CAN NOT TRUST WHAT GOES ON HERE IN THIS OFFICE DURING THE TIMES THAT WE ARE NOT AROUND. THIS RESULTS IN AN EMBARGO ON ANY OVERTIME YOU HOPE TO ACCOMPLISH, MEANING IF YOU DO NOT GET YOUR WORK DONE BETWEEN THE HOURS THAT YOU ARE SCHEDULED TO BE HERE, YOU ARE FROM THIS POINT FORWARD, IN DEBT TO THIS COMPANY AND WILL BE ASKED TO MAKE UP YOUR WORKING TIME AT THE DISGRESSION OF THE DIRECTORS, WHEN AND WHERE THEY INSTRUCT YOU TO DO SO. IT APPEARS THAT WE NOW MUST ALSO ALTER *OUR* SCHEDULES, TO ENSURE THAT ONE OF US IS HERE AT 7:30AM EVERY MORNING, TO BABYSIT YOU. THANKS. WE REALLY APPRECIATE THAT."
"I AM SO DISGUSTED WITH WHAT IS OBVIOUSLY GOING ON HERE IN MY (OUR) ABSENCE, THAT I AM TEMPTED TO PUNISH YOU ALL BY CANCELLING OUR CHRISTMAS DINNER IN MARCH. HOWEVER, I REALIZE THAT THE CULPRIT HAS APOLOGIZED TO THE REST OF YOU, AND AM SURE THAT I SHOULD REFRAIN FROM PUNISHING THE GROUP FURTHER, DUE TO THIS PERSON'S STUPIDITY. HOWEVER!
"SO IN CONCLUSION! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. WE ARE NOT MESSING AROUND ANYMORE. PREPARE TO EXPERIENCE A SHIFT IN ATTITUDE TOWARDS PERSONAL FREEDOMES AROUND THIS OFFICE, IN THE FUTURE. IF THIS UPSETS YOU, YOU ALL KNOW WHO TO THANK. THAT IS ALL. *GOOD DAY, SIRS!!*"
I think that pretty much sums it up.... We probably wouldn't be so furious if it hadn't happened the way it happened. How? Welllll.... The Mr. and R. (visiting biofuels expert consultant, working on The Mr.'s project that he is running) both sent print jobs to the color printer this morning. They were standing around said printer having a chat, when 10 pages of nekkit lovers start flowing out (again - picture kama sutra type stuff here... nothing twisted or XXX rated or anything)... LUCKILY, The Mr. catches the papers and R. doesn't see anything because he's *just* moved away from the machine. CAN YOU IMAGINE!??
As The Mr. explained to Culprit during their man-to-man about this, not only would this have embarassed us as a company in front of this highly respected visitor, who knows what kind of viruses he is bringing into our network, what kind of kiddie or animal or whatever type filth he could've clicked on that would've sent red flags up in Big Brother's House and sent the internet cops after us?? Not to mention that our internet service provider, who is a FRIEND OF OURS can monitor every page visited from their end??? WTF!??!
Anyway, it's been an interesting day so far.
Not to mention I'm supposed to be getting ready for our trip tomorrow morning!!!
But now, The Mr. tells me we all have to go over to this rich Indian guy's house for a big fat dinner tonight, because he's hosting The Mr.'s research team and everyone HAS to go. Including me & the JuJu Lady. And it STARTS at 8:30pm. GREAT. I've gotta get paperwork ready, I've gotta pack, I've gotta do a bunch of CRAP and now I've got no time to do it in!! AGH!
But I have to support The Mr. here. He has done a great job this week of hosting a conference/workshop, a bunch of visiting experts, and shuffling them all around, lecturing, demonstrating, presenting, writing, and just generally TCB for this huge project that he has landed us all by himself. He is a management machine this week. True, I haven't seen him at all this week because of it. True, it's so stressful he can't sleep at night. True, I ended up entertaining 5 visiting scientists from India & Swaziland on my verandah last night drinking my beer and eating my peanuts at 8pm because of it. And now, it looks like I've gotta mobilize our family for our trip all by myself between the hours of what, midnight and 2am this evening?? Because of a dinner?? But whatever. I can do it. I'm not a hundred years old or something. I'm just gonna need some luck and some super-organized lists.
In the meantime, I'm just looking forward to seeing the ocean out my hotel window while eating room service food in bed, sometime within the next 48 hours. ahhh bliss.
Labels: trip planning, work
0 Responses to “Oh my GRIEF. And stress before travelling.”
Post a Comment