"And it takes five cups of coffee...
0 Comments Published by Oh Wayward One on 18 November 2010 at 11/18/2010 11:42:00 am.
...to calm down/before I sleep!"
Honestly, if this is the way everything is going to be after finally digging myself out of that academia hole, I might as well just get back down there in the hole and stay there. At least then I had an excuse to close my eyes and ears to everything going on around me and say "I'll think about it in November!"
So even after doing DOUBLE workouts yesterday (exercise class at lunch and then yoga after work), I STILL end up wide awake at 4am, staring at the ceiling and stressing out about the world around me. THIS, man, is why it often SUCKS to be a Pisces. This NEVER happened when the only thing I was worrying about was the degree of external validity of my thesis construct, triangulation of data, and the relevance of my literature review and whether or not the outcome would be frowned upon by a bunch of hard-asses in the UK. For some reason, no matter how afraid of failing I was, I could still sleep at night!!!! AGGHHHH!!!!
And the worst part is that I need sleep SO BAD, I have been cramming too much into too little time over the last couple weeks... This was the first night of the week that I was actually ABLE to get in bed on time! And then I just lie there and simmer!
Aside from the weekend finishing on a high note, it was a really "time to be over" kinda weekend. Those weird friends of ours (we'll call 'em the Bizarros) and their high-maintenance non-sleeping 16-month-old were here, as I mentioned before. WHY is Mr. Bizarro so WEIRD? He always tries to get out of sharing any bills, which I know is because they're strapped for cash but only because of HIS bad financial decisions. He also manages to not only mooch, but literally "accidentally" walk off with things like LJJ's lotion, or a watermelon, or contacts from work (he's in our field and his company down south has been poking around for work up here). Case in point - Mrs B (who is NOT weird, but still married a weirdo) gave LJJ a book that another friend had hand-me-downed to their boy. It was a snow white book. She clearly gave it to LJJ in front of Mr Bizarro. As we were helping them load up their car to go home, I see him take it back from LJJ and bury it in the back of their car... ? WTF? And Tuesday, when our house alarm started acting all funny and going off randomly because it appeared to be out of battery.... what did we discover about a day later? That the base to said alarm, which happens to be in the guest room, had been completely and totally disconnected and unplugged!!! Along with every other electronic device in the room! Lamps, utilities, everything. WHY!?!?!??! African plugs have an "off" switch at the base that you can just turn OFF if you don't want any power on.... you dont have to go around unplugging everything!?!?!? And our HOUSE ALARM?!
It's just the little things that make a difference when you have houseguests.... the odd offer to wash some dishes or something. Nevermind nothing like that happened, but he also goes and invites my LEAST favorite mutual acquaintence of ours over for dinner at MY house on Saturday night. OK this one can also be co-blamed on the Mr., but still. Then wouldn't you especially offer to supplement some of the responsibility/food/hosting duties, etc?
THEY ARE SO BIZARRE!!! Not to mention no WONDER the kid doesn't sleep through the night (yet another reason I have been so sleep-deprived this week - it all started out with a bad weekend of sleeplesness due to screaming child in the room below), they're still giving him two naps a day and entertaining him/giving him bottles in the middle of the night! Of COURSE he's gonna want to wake up 20 times to have fun & games & drinks all night long! Gah!
Monday was crazy at the office but was also our first monday hash of the summer. Which was FUN! A short 6km run in really nice, cloudy evening weather. Doc & Mrs Doc's friends from DC were in town visiting so they were there and we showed 'em a good time and stuck around for a few rounds after it was over and had a laugh. But got home late and had to argue about a bunch of work stuff that I wont go into. Bad end to a day.
Tuesday was likewise crazy at the office - meetings, yelling, lots of aggro, but I still managed a trip to the gym at lunch, thank goodness. Then Doc & Mrs Doc and their visiting mates wanted to do thai food at the secret underground lair-restaurant in the ghetto so of course we had to do that after work. Then they came back to our place to drop some stuff off and ended up staying for a nightcap that went TOO LATE but at the same time, was bittersweetly TOO much FUN.
Then last night, again, what else? More craziness at the office, more files missing, more aggro, more yelling, more stomp-stomp-stomp, only to be broken up by a pretty lame and unispiring workout class at lunch (I'm having second thoughts about this new gym in our office park - i'm only going because of it's location but you can only do classes and unfortunately these seem to be drawing a few old ladies who can only do low-impact. ugh) and then more of the same. Then off to yoga where, upon receiving bad news right and left all day, all I could do was ruminate and chew on the cud of bad mojo and frustration that I managed to build up all day! AGH!
Today I had to go BACK into the office (notice I have not yet had one work-at-home day this week, which I realize now more than ever that I NEED just to maintain my sanity) for a meeting that someone never showed up for and about 12 I just said screw this I'm going home so I'm working from home the rest of today. If I'm LUCKY, I might be able to tomorrow too.
Aside from work nonsense, now that I'm back in the real world and can actually have friends again, make the odd phone call again, have the odd gchat or FB chat or whatever again, I'm realizing that while I was out of service the damn world lost its damn mind!!!! What is it, the change in the weather? My worthless brother moved in with this girl that he neither genuinely loves nor even respects and I am pretty sure he's feeding her all sorts of lies about marriage and babies (which she's desperate for). My favorite boyfriend-in-law is about to get dumped for reasons that make me want to poke my eyeballs out, Uncle A. keeps me on gchat for 2 hours begging my advice on three topics that appear to be matters of life and death only to log off and do the EXACT OPPOSITE of what we all know he should do... half my friends are dating people I want to instruct to take a long walk into oncoming traffic, and on top of everything, the cooking club I mentioned before of us gals around here is at my place in 2 weeks so I planned EVERYTHING and all the assignments and now 33% have dropped out (coincidentally all the ones who insisted we move the date to a LESS-convienient one for me!!!) and I am pissed!
The only light on the horizon was Saturday, when my gluten-free gal, S., had organized a spa day for me and 3 other of her amigas. Massage, facial, mani/pedi, sauna, etc etc for half a day. Bliss. But of course she sends an email today that the Power Company has informed the spa that their power will be cut between 9am and 2pm (the EXACT hours we were booked in for) which means we can still come, but no sauna or steamer.... ~sigh~. Not the end of the world, i know, but just bloody appropos for the week. Hell who cares, I just need a massage so bad I'll be willing to take one out in the street. My arms & shoulders were KILLING me all day yesterday and today. The pushup/weights/yoga combo has been extremely intense lately. Not to mention all the hours I've logged behind a keyboard over the last 6 months (which hasnt stopped yet, what with all the deadlines i've come up against in just the last 10 days, for work).
Pep talk time.
Ahem.
"Self, listen up and listen good.
There are many things that you can't control in this life and what your friends/family/collegues/whatever decide to do, who they decide to go out with, who they decide to break up with, promise to have babies with, have secret babies with, string along, let-be-strung-along-by, travel to other countries for, or what they decide to blow 50,000 dollars on, or when they decide to get up off their asses and join the real world, or what nonsense ludicris bullshit they choose to let come out of their mouths, etc. is all part of that which you cannot control nor should allow to keep you awake at night. You need sleep, self. If you don't get sleep, you'll look older faster and get more wrinkles than you already have. You'll keep the love of your life awake with all your bloody tossing and turning. You'll never be able to calmly address the rest of your colleagues nor stay physically fit. Come on, dammit, turn the damn brain off and learn how to tune out the white noise of other peoples' problems that ultimately have nothing to do with you."
Segue into "what makes me happy", for a change....
ahem.
WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY! :-)
- Watching "Modern Family" and "Cougar Town".
- My 2010 arm & shoulder muscles!
- My new yellow pup who follows me around like a shadow and is SO sweet
- Knowing that the new Keith Richards autobio is almost downloaded on my iTunes
- The thought of having xmas break for 2 weeks, in a little cabin in the forest
- Bob Dylan
- Winning pretty much every Words With Friends game that I play on my iPhone
- The Hash
- The thought of getting a massage on saturday
- Discovering "The Punch Brothers" on David Letterman the other night
- Nelson Demille books
- LJJ behaving at restaurants & singing/dancing/making people laugh
Honestly, if this is the way everything is going to be after finally digging myself out of that academia hole, I might as well just get back down there in the hole and stay there. At least then I had an excuse to close my eyes and ears to everything going on around me and say "I'll think about it in November!"
So even after doing DOUBLE workouts yesterday (exercise class at lunch and then yoga after work), I STILL end up wide awake at 4am, staring at the ceiling and stressing out about the world around me. THIS, man, is why it often SUCKS to be a Pisces. This NEVER happened when the only thing I was worrying about was the degree of external validity of my thesis construct, triangulation of data, and the relevance of my literature review and whether or not the outcome would be frowned upon by a bunch of hard-asses in the UK. For some reason, no matter how afraid of failing I was, I could still sleep at night!!!! AGGHHHH!!!!
And the worst part is that I need sleep SO BAD, I have been cramming too much into too little time over the last couple weeks... This was the first night of the week that I was actually ABLE to get in bed on time! And then I just lie there and simmer!
Aside from the weekend finishing on a high note, it was a really "time to be over" kinda weekend. Those weird friends of ours (we'll call 'em the Bizarros) and their high-maintenance non-sleeping 16-month-old were here, as I mentioned before. WHY is Mr. Bizarro so WEIRD? He always tries to get out of sharing any bills, which I know is because they're strapped for cash but only because of HIS bad financial decisions. He also manages to not only mooch, but literally "accidentally" walk off with things like LJJ's lotion, or a watermelon, or contacts from work (he's in our field and his company down south has been poking around for work up here). Case in point - Mrs B (who is NOT weird, but still married a weirdo) gave LJJ a book that another friend had hand-me-downed to their boy. It was a snow white book. She clearly gave it to LJJ in front of Mr Bizarro. As we were helping them load up their car to go home, I see him take it back from LJJ and bury it in the back of their car... ? WTF? And Tuesday, when our house alarm started acting all funny and going off randomly because it appeared to be out of battery.... what did we discover about a day later? That the base to said alarm, which happens to be in the guest room, had been completely and totally disconnected and unplugged!!! Along with every other electronic device in the room! Lamps, utilities, everything. WHY!?!?!??! African plugs have an "off" switch at the base that you can just turn OFF if you don't want any power on.... you dont have to go around unplugging everything!?!?!? And our HOUSE ALARM?!
It's just the little things that make a difference when you have houseguests.... the odd offer to wash some dishes or something. Nevermind nothing like that happened, but he also goes and invites my LEAST favorite mutual acquaintence of ours over for dinner at MY house on Saturday night. OK this one can also be co-blamed on the Mr., but still. Then wouldn't you especially offer to supplement some of the responsibility/food/hosting duties, etc?
THEY ARE SO BIZARRE!!! Not to mention no WONDER the kid doesn't sleep through the night (yet another reason I have been so sleep-deprived this week - it all started out with a bad weekend of sleeplesness due to screaming child in the room below), they're still giving him two naps a day and entertaining him/giving him bottles in the middle of the night! Of COURSE he's gonna want to wake up 20 times to have fun & games & drinks all night long! Gah!
Monday was crazy at the office but was also our first monday hash of the summer. Which was FUN! A short 6km run in really nice, cloudy evening weather. Doc & Mrs Doc's friends from DC were in town visiting so they were there and we showed 'em a good time and stuck around for a few rounds after it was over and had a laugh. But got home late and had to argue about a bunch of work stuff that I wont go into. Bad end to a day.
Tuesday was likewise crazy at the office - meetings, yelling, lots of aggro, but I still managed a trip to the gym at lunch, thank goodness. Then Doc & Mrs Doc and their visiting mates wanted to do thai food at the secret underground lair-restaurant in the ghetto so of course we had to do that after work. Then they came back to our place to drop some stuff off and ended up staying for a nightcap that went TOO LATE but at the same time, was bittersweetly TOO much FUN.
Then last night, again, what else? More craziness at the office, more files missing, more aggro, more yelling, more stomp-stomp-stomp, only to be broken up by a pretty lame and unispiring workout class at lunch (I'm having second thoughts about this new gym in our office park - i'm only going because of it's location but you can only do classes and unfortunately these seem to be drawing a few old ladies who can only do low-impact. ugh) and then more of the same. Then off to yoga where, upon receiving bad news right and left all day, all I could do was ruminate and chew on the cud of bad mojo and frustration that I managed to build up all day! AGH!
Today I had to go BACK into the office (notice I have not yet had one work-at-home day this week, which I realize now more than ever that I NEED just to maintain my sanity) for a meeting that someone never showed up for and about 12 I just said screw this I'm going home so I'm working from home the rest of today. If I'm LUCKY, I might be able to tomorrow too.
Aside from work nonsense, now that I'm back in the real world and can actually have friends again, make the odd phone call again, have the odd gchat or FB chat or whatever again, I'm realizing that while I was out of service the damn world lost its damn mind!!!! What is it, the change in the weather? My worthless brother moved in with this girl that he neither genuinely loves nor even respects and I am pretty sure he's feeding her all sorts of lies about marriage and babies (which she's desperate for). My favorite boyfriend-in-law is about to get dumped for reasons that make me want to poke my eyeballs out, Uncle A. keeps me on gchat for 2 hours begging my advice on three topics that appear to be matters of life and death only to log off and do the EXACT OPPOSITE of what we all know he should do... half my friends are dating people I want to instruct to take a long walk into oncoming traffic, and on top of everything, the cooking club I mentioned before of us gals around here is at my place in 2 weeks so I planned EVERYTHING and all the assignments and now 33% have dropped out (coincidentally all the ones who insisted we move the date to a LESS-convienient one for me!!!) and I am pissed!
The only light on the horizon was Saturday, when my gluten-free gal, S., had organized a spa day for me and 3 other of her amigas. Massage, facial, mani/pedi, sauna, etc etc for half a day. Bliss. But of course she sends an email today that the Power Company has informed the spa that their power will be cut between 9am and 2pm (the EXACT hours we were booked in for) which means we can still come, but no sauna or steamer.... ~sigh~. Not the end of the world, i know, but just bloody appropos for the week. Hell who cares, I just need a massage so bad I'll be willing to take one out in the street. My arms & shoulders were KILLING me all day yesterday and today. The pushup/weights/yoga combo has been extremely intense lately. Not to mention all the hours I've logged behind a keyboard over the last 6 months (which hasnt stopped yet, what with all the deadlines i've come up against in just the last 10 days, for work).
Pep talk time.
Ahem.
"Self, listen up and listen good.
There are many things that you can't control in this life and what your friends/family/collegues/whatever decide to do, who they decide to go out with, who they decide to break up with, promise to have babies with, have secret babies with, string along, let-be-strung-along-by, travel to other countries for, or what they decide to blow 50,000 dollars on, or when they decide to get up off their asses and join the real world, or what nonsense ludicris bullshit they choose to let come out of their mouths, etc. is all part of that which you cannot control nor should allow to keep you awake at night. You need sleep, self. If you don't get sleep, you'll look older faster and get more wrinkles than you already have. You'll keep the love of your life awake with all your bloody tossing and turning. You'll never be able to calmly address the rest of your colleagues nor stay physically fit. Come on, dammit, turn the damn brain off and learn how to tune out the white noise of other peoples' problems that ultimately have nothing to do with you."
Segue into "what makes me happy", for a change....
ahem.
WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY! :-)
- Watching "Modern Family" and "Cougar Town".
- My 2010 arm & shoulder muscles!
- My new yellow pup who follows me around like a shadow and is SO sweet
- Knowing that the new Keith Richards autobio is almost downloaded on my iTunes
- The thought of having xmas break for 2 weeks, in a little cabin in the forest
- Bob Dylan
- Winning pretty much every Words With Friends game that I play on my iPhone
- The Hash
- The thought of getting a massage on saturday
- Discovering "The Punch Brothers" on David Letterman the other night
- Nelson Demille books
- LJJ behaving at restaurants & singing/dancing/making people laugh
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