I'm kind of in mourning these days, after we got the news that Doc & Mrs Doc are leaving us in May instead of September. Upon banging my head up against a wall several times in a state of "not knowing what's meaningful again, dammit!" I realized that this is something that is on my mind a lot, making me sad a lot, and what what what, so again - something meaningful must be lying in there waiting to be extracted & appreciated.
And it is! The Mr. and I haven't had good friends like this in our midst for so long. I mean sure we have great friends, all over the world, great friends, yay, great, what have you. But the ones that you REALLY click with, and at the same time that are a daily part of your lives and therefore you get the most value out of - hey it's been a long time.
Back in our life in Australia, we used to have our own version of the Cul-de-Sac-Krewe (my moniker for our 2 sets of neighbour couples that we always hang out with who all lived within a kilometre or 2 distance of us at the time) in SPH & A, and Ad & TJ. The feeling where you just know that each weekend you're probably going to do at least *something* together, and it isn't weird to just lounge around in each other's living rooms drinking wine or watching something on TV... not everything is a planned "event", something you have to dress up for, it's just comfortable hanging-out-time. The regularity of it all (helped out by being in the same neighbourhood and therefore just a minute away at all times) fosters extra comfortableness between you, where you get to know way more about each other in much shorter of a timespan than when you're talking about someone you only see once a month or something. Then the close proximity of your locations makes quick drop-ins, or unannounced visits or even simple stuff like "we made too much chilli, do you want some?" so much easier than when you're across town... which means that the casualness is increased and therefore you don't have to feel like you're "on" every time you see each other.
Ever since we met Doc & Mrs Doc, and convinced them to move into our neighbourhood The Mr. and I find ourselves saying incredibly touching things like "wow, we're really lucky to have those guys down the road". Or, "I love that we can hang out with a couple who we have so much in common with". And once he even said to me "Ever since they moved in, I feel like our social life is back to where it used to be in Melbourne"!! And it's true. It's so hard to find people where you BOTH click with BOTH of them - not just the dude (like our situation with Jac & Mar, the other third of our C-d-S-K) or the girl (like our situation with Soo & Mx). For example, sometimes it's Doc that calls me about what to do on friday night, sometimes it's Mrs Doc calling The Mr. and vice versa. We feel exactly the same about both of them and to be honest, I'm not even sure whose number I'm dialling when I phone, because it really doesn't matter (literally, I have them both in my directory under "Mrs Doc" anyway).
Then there's the part about genuineness. There's nothing worth hiding from them due to feelings of skeletons in the closet or anything like that - there's no pretense, and this is on all levels, from being able to talk to them about ANYTHING, to not even attempting to clean up the place when they come over, if it's not convenient.
And then just plain and simple "good personnness". Their enthusiasm about everything is infectious and inspiring - from every time we suggest cooking something bizarre to planning hiking trips or camping. Everything with them is "awesome!" and "fantastic idea!" and you just really genuinely look forward to doing it together. Stuff that a lot of our other friends would complain about or just not even have the slightest bit of motivation for if you just suggest it on a whim ("let's build cornehole boards!" "let's walk for 20km!" "let's make a neti pot out of an ice tea bottle and squirt baking soda and water up my nose!" "let's see if we can make tamales!"). They're really like genuinely gung-ho people which is what you need around these parts when so many things really get you down about daily life and frustrations related to living in a developing country and dealing with complicated & difficult people all the time. I think that must be directly related to their profession, when they're surrounded by a lot of tragedy in the ER and death and illness and 24-hour-shifts and what not. Whatever it is, it's infectious and extremely valuable.
And the stuff we have in common is probably one of the most valuable aspects - when you're an immigrant and you hang out with a variety of locals & expatriates, you generally have a mix of people that you're either just friends with because of work, or because of some club or something or other. It's not because you grew up together and your lives intertwined for a number of years and you have all sorts of life events & interests in common. It's not because you shared experiences over the years and lived through good times & bad together. It's just a lot of "relationships of convenience". With them though, it's like we brought our own friends over with us from "back home" (wherever that is) or something. We all love food, we all love the outdoors, we all do sports, run, etc., we all have the same sense of humour, we all like (generally) the same style of music, we all like the same personality types of people, we're all animal people, we're all adventurous, etc.... and the majority of things we DISLIKE are exactly the same too. Made to order!
So yes, in conclusion, my quality of life and happiness is about to take an incredible nose dive, as these 2 have recently been laid off by the floundering, bankrupt hospital that brought them over here for what was supposed to be a fixed year-long contract. Come May, both me & the Mr. are about to be 2 EXTREMELY sad puppies. However. The meaningful bit is that like SPH&A and TJ&Ad, at least I know that the friendship will last over decades, and that we'll make the effort to see them again no matter where life takes us. I guess that should make me feel better, knowing that what developed was of such Quality that it will stick. It's just going to be really hard to be going it alone again, or I don't know if it's even worse or not - sticking it out with friends who just don't quite measure up. Sometimes I think it's almost better to be lonely than to have average or less-than-average friends around you. That's depressing, I know, but these are the thoughts you have when you have to say goodbye to your besties forever (well, "forever" as in they'll never be your neighbours again - that chapter is OVER).
At least we have (most of) March and April.
And it is! The Mr. and I haven't had good friends like this in our midst for so long. I mean sure we have great friends, all over the world, great friends, yay, great, what have you. But the ones that you REALLY click with, and at the same time that are a daily part of your lives and therefore you get the most value out of - hey it's been a long time.
Back in our life in Australia, we used to have our own version of the Cul-de-Sac-Krewe (my moniker for our 2 sets of neighbour couples that we always hang out with who all lived within a kilometre or 2 distance of us at the time) in SPH & A, and Ad & TJ. The feeling where you just know that each weekend you're probably going to do at least *something* together, and it isn't weird to just lounge around in each other's living rooms drinking wine or watching something on TV... not everything is a planned "event", something you have to dress up for, it's just comfortable hanging-out-time. The regularity of it all (helped out by being in the same neighbourhood and therefore just a minute away at all times) fosters extra comfortableness between you, where you get to know way more about each other in much shorter of a timespan than when you're talking about someone you only see once a month or something. Then the close proximity of your locations makes quick drop-ins, or unannounced visits or even simple stuff like "we made too much chilli, do you want some?" so much easier than when you're across town... which means that the casualness is increased and therefore you don't have to feel like you're "on" every time you see each other.
Ever since we met Doc & Mrs Doc, and convinced them to move into our neighbourhood The Mr. and I find ourselves saying incredibly touching things like "wow, we're really lucky to have those guys down the road". Or, "I love that we can hang out with a couple who we have so much in common with". And once he even said to me "Ever since they moved in, I feel like our social life is back to where it used to be in Melbourne"!! And it's true. It's so hard to find people where you BOTH click with BOTH of them - not just the dude (like our situation with Jac & Mar, the other third of our C-d-S-K) or the girl (like our situation with Soo & Mx). For example, sometimes it's Doc that calls me about what to do on friday night, sometimes it's Mrs Doc calling The Mr. and vice versa. We feel exactly the same about both of them and to be honest, I'm not even sure whose number I'm dialling when I phone, because it really doesn't matter (literally, I have them both in my directory under "Mrs Doc" anyway).
Then there's the part about genuineness. There's nothing worth hiding from them due to feelings of skeletons in the closet or anything like that - there's no pretense, and this is on all levels, from being able to talk to them about ANYTHING, to not even attempting to clean up the place when they come over, if it's not convenient.
And then just plain and simple "good personnness". Their enthusiasm about everything is infectious and inspiring - from every time we suggest cooking something bizarre to planning hiking trips or camping. Everything with them is "awesome!" and "fantastic idea!" and you just really genuinely look forward to doing it together. Stuff that a lot of our other friends would complain about or just not even have the slightest bit of motivation for if you just suggest it on a whim ("let's build cornehole boards!" "let's walk for 20km!" "let's make a neti pot out of an ice tea bottle and squirt baking soda and water up my nose!" "let's see if we can make tamales!"). They're really like genuinely gung-ho people which is what you need around these parts when so many things really get you down about daily life and frustrations related to living in a developing country and dealing with complicated & difficult people all the time. I think that must be directly related to their profession, when they're surrounded by a lot of tragedy in the ER and death and illness and 24-hour-shifts and what not. Whatever it is, it's infectious and extremely valuable.
And the stuff we have in common is probably one of the most valuable aspects - when you're an immigrant and you hang out with a variety of locals & expatriates, you generally have a mix of people that you're either just friends with because of work, or because of some club or something or other. It's not because you grew up together and your lives intertwined for a number of years and you have all sorts of life events & interests in common. It's not because you shared experiences over the years and lived through good times & bad together. It's just a lot of "relationships of convenience". With them though, it's like we brought our own friends over with us from "back home" (wherever that is) or something. We all love food, we all love the outdoors, we all do sports, run, etc., we all have the same sense of humour, we all like (generally) the same style of music, we all like the same personality types of people, we're all animal people, we're all adventurous, etc.... and the majority of things we DISLIKE are exactly the same too. Made to order!
So yes, in conclusion, my quality of life and happiness is about to take an incredible nose dive, as these 2 have recently been laid off by the floundering, bankrupt hospital that brought them over here for what was supposed to be a fixed year-long contract. Come May, both me & the Mr. are about to be 2 EXTREMELY sad puppies. However. The meaningful bit is that like SPH&A and TJ&Ad, at least I know that the friendship will last over decades, and that we'll make the effort to see them again no matter where life takes us. I guess that should make me feel better, knowing that what developed was of such Quality that it will stick. It's just going to be really hard to be going it alone again, or I don't know if it's even worse or not - sticking it out with friends who just don't quite measure up. Sometimes I think it's almost better to be lonely than to have average or less-than-average friends around you. That's depressing, I know, but these are the thoughts you have when you have to say goodbye to your besties forever (well, "forever" as in they'll never be your neighbours again - that chapter is OVER).
At least we have (most of) March and April.
Labels: Meaningful, mis amigos
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