Ready for a comeback...
0 Comments Published by Oh Wayward One on 06 July 2011 at 7/06/2011 02:12:00 pm.
Well, here I go again (on my owwwwn....)
I don't know why it's been so hard to identify meaningful things in my life over the last month. Probably because I have not been in the most optimistic, positive frame of mind. No reason in particular, I like to think of it as just a brief trough in the sine curve of life. The blues. No outlet, no laughter therapy, no real inspiration or motivation to give a rat's ass. In these circumstances, you don't see the meaningful, because you've just got your damn eyes closed. Trust me, I'm now even MORE certain that happiness is a decision that you have to make and then push through the brick wall in order to get out of your rut. Ain't nobody else gonna fix your ass for you, and you're lucky if you even have anyone try and give you a hand to help you out.
However, I let myself wallow and now it's time to pull the socks up and get back on the horse and stop living like a Scandinavian... although the iceberg temps we've got going on here in G-city the last couple weeks don't help that. Friday was a real eye-opener, a real reality check in terms of defining meaningful and appreciating it. It kinda went like this:
So The Mr. and I haven't had a lot of time alone recently, what with No. 1 Babysitting Team Doc & Mrs Doc being permanently removed from our lives (still in mourning, probably one of the major bummers at play in all this). Jac & Mar are still ready and always willing to sit on the choddler whenever we ask, but I just hate exploiting their services too much, especially since I always have this guilty complex of reciprocity and sometimes I feel the payback more than I enjoy the service!
But nevermind that, the fact is, we had the day off LAST Friday (SSK holiday) and used it to take them up on their permanent-standing offer. Dumped LJJ at their place in the late morning, and took the motorcycles out for a beautiful ride. The winter is cold, but that time of day it's warm enough that you're not physically shaking by the time you've ridden 3 miles. So we motored on over to the new mall in town (woo hoo!! 10 shops!! 1 restaurant!) and did a lovely, leisurely Chinese lunch at the one restaurant. It was freakin' blissful, that's all I can think to say about it. I really miss spending time with him, especially since work has been so busy and a lot of free time has turned into work time over the past couple months. It's like, work work work and then collapse in a coma at home and wake up and do it all over again.
After lunch we strolled through the new grocery store there and rode back home. So bloody boring and simplistic, but totally worth it. Probably the best day I've had in 4 months. And totally meaningful. I don't know if it was the subconscious symbolism of the fact it was a weekday and we were totally work-free and unshackled to anything, or if it was just that we really enjoyed each other's company without anyone else around (usually if we're MINUS LJJ, that means we're PLUS other friends - not just alone). Throwing the motorcycle riding in was also euphoric, as I'm still enjoying that more and more and can't get enough. But riding together is also sensational. I just want to do it more and more and more and more. Addictive, indeed.
Anyway, I don't know if it'll ever happen again or if it was just the perfect day which can never be repeated - and I've still done a crap job of explaining WHY exactly it just felt so great. Hey, I dont even understand that myself. All I know is that I keep repeating the memory in my head and going over it and over it, whenever I feel like slipping back into the bummers. It also gave me the inspiration to suck it up and put my best food forward for the rest of the winter. It's freezing f*cking cold, dark as hell all the time, but there's stuff to get happy about. Like our trip to Zimbabwe in a week's time. And the big USA Holiday in September/October. But until then, I'll just use this "last friday memory" to keep me going.
I don't know why it's been so hard to identify meaningful things in my life over the last month. Probably because I have not been in the most optimistic, positive frame of mind. No reason in particular, I like to think of it as just a brief trough in the sine curve of life. The blues. No outlet, no laughter therapy, no real inspiration or motivation to give a rat's ass. In these circumstances, you don't see the meaningful, because you've just got your damn eyes closed. Trust me, I'm now even MORE certain that happiness is a decision that you have to make and then push through the brick wall in order to get out of your rut. Ain't nobody else gonna fix your ass for you, and you're lucky if you even have anyone try and give you a hand to help you out.
However, I let myself wallow and now it's time to pull the socks up and get back on the horse and stop living like a Scandinavian... although the iceberg temps we've got going on here in G-city the last couple weeks don't help that. Friday was a real eye-opener, a real reality check in terms of defining meaningful and appreciating it. It kinda went like this:
So The Mr. and I haven't had a lot of time alone recently, what with No. 1 Babysitting Team Doc & Mrs Doc being permanently removed from our lives (still in mourning, probably one of the major bummers at play in all this). Jac & Mar are still ready and always willing to sit on the choddler whenever we ask, but I just hate exploiting their services too much, especially since I always have this guilty complex of reciprocity and sometimes I feel the payback more than I enjoy the service!
But nevermind that, the fact is, we had the day off LAST Friday (SSK holiday) and used it to take them up on their permanent-standing offer. Dumped LJJ at their place in the late morning, and took the motorcycles out for a beautiful ride. The winter is cold, but that time of day it's warm enough that you're not physically shaking by the time you've ridden 3 miles. So we motored on over to the new mall in town (woo hoo!! 10 shops!! 1 restaurant!) and did a lovely, leisurely Chinese lunch at the one restaurant. It was freakin' blissful, that's all I can think to say about it. I really miss spending time with him, especially since work has been so busy and a lot of free time has turned into work time over the past couple months. It's like, work work work and then collapse in a coma at home and wake up and do it all over again.
After lunch we strolled through the new grocery store there and rode back home. So bloody boring and simplistic, but totally worth it. Probably the best day I've had in 4 months. And totally meaningful. I don't know if it was the subconscious symbolism of the fact it was a weekday and we were totally work-free and unshackled to anything, or if it was just that we really enjoyed each other's company without anyone else around (usually if we're MINUS LJJ, that means we're PLUS other friends - not just alone). Throwing the motorcycle riding in was also euphoric, as I'm still enjoying that more and more and can't get enough. But riding together is also sensational. I just want to do it more and more and more and more. Addictive, indeed.
Anyway, I don't know if it'll ever happen again or if it was just the perfect day which can never be repeated - and I've still done a crap job of explaining WHY exactly it just felt so great. Hey, I dont even understand that myself. All I know is that I keep repeating the memory in my head and going over it and over it, whenever I feel like slipping back into the bummers. It also gave me the inspiration to suck it up and put my best food forward for the rest of the winter. It's freezing f*cking cold, dark as hell all the time, but there's stuff to get happy about. Like our trip to Zimbabwe in a week's time. And the big USA Holiday in September/October. But until then, I'll just use this "last friday memory" to keep me going.
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