Now it's time to put the pedal to the metal
1 Comments Published by Oh Wayward One on 02 September 2010 at 9/02/2010 03:00:00 pm.
So the next 3 months are going to be a whirlwind and I'll probably have to minimize my extra-cirricular typing activities cuz it's about to git biz-zay.
My last, ultimate, eternally-permanent-forever-final university semester began yesterday. I got my due dates for thesis drafts and it looks like I need to have something considered "draft-worthy" by the first week of October (yikes!) and then the finalamente finale in mid-November. With any luck I will then be a Master-Master by the end of 2010. I don't even want to think about that because I'm still in the dark as to whether or not my proposed study will be accepted. But I've pushed that boat out into the lake now, and there ain't no turning back. Too many numbers are being crunched and too many thousands of words have already been written. So I'm just crossing my fingers.
The Kid is getting to be a handful. Let me just say that babyhood has been easy for us. And no that is NOT because we were BLESSED by a magically flawless creature. (I'm going to rip the face off the next person who tells me how "lucky" we are. Yeah, i'll tell you where to take your freakin "luck" and go. And it aint gonna be Vegas). Through hard work and an extremely dedicated joint-force task team (i.e. The Mr. & I) we have now successfully enjoyed the babyhood and came out on the other side with a pretty good kid. Worth at LEAST 10 bucks, I tell ya. However, now it is over. Now it is Toddler Time and all I can say is BOY HOWDY, HOW DO SOME PEOPLE DO THIS ON THEIR OWN!? I mean, DAMN! I'm not just talking about having another newly-mobile person in the house. I'm talking all the extra pee and poo that comes out of these things. And you gotta take 'em to the potty all the time. What's up with that? Every 15 minutes you're taking em to the damn potty. I waste half my days next to that damn potty. In babyhood, you just let 'em crap themselves and if you're really lazy you use disposable diapers so you don't even have to spray the things out with the hose. And then there's the extra food that needs to go into 'em when they're this size (which you gotta cook now, no more bottles and quick-mix-porridge, as well as cognitive "stuff" like now having to watch your mouths all the time and literally be TEACHING all. the. dang. time. every. minute. of. every. day. Sponges, I tell you, sponges. Oh, and that whole dealing-with-that-new-thing-they're-developing called a "temper"..... Santa Maria! Not only do you have to be uber vigilant on the reprimanding & follow-through, but you've also gotta keep your OWN temper in check. Holy Balls!
Anyhoo, LJJ is going to preschool in January so we've been out checking them out. All the options. All the crap. All the fees. All the pros & cons. I'm sorry but I'm (we're) not driving 45 minutes out of my (our) way every single day just because one school offers Kindermusik and the other one doesn't. Or because one has a more culturally diverse clientele than the other. Or an apple orchard. Ugh. Ultimately my philosophy is that The Kid is going to be learning as much if not more from ME than whatever 5 hours she spends on somebody else's watch anyway and whatever we feel she's not getting from nursery school, I'm pretty sure we can supplement at home. Frankly it's just gotta tick as many boxes as possible, including boxes that belong to Mom & Pops too, mmkay?
Speaking of family matters and Mom & Pops, in the TMI segment (I know at least 1 someone who will be interested in this if for no other reason than a certain madey-uppy band name that it refers to), The Mr. has his first appointment for his snip-snip consultation coming up. Woo hoo! Much to the dismay of our families and apparently every other human we know, we will officially not have "procreation" to add to our list of cares in the world in a few short months!! hee hee! My mate Soo keeps asking "are you SURE? are you SURE?" and I think now at least that the appointments are made, she'll finally believe us. Now when all the nosy, rude, ballsy inappropriate assholes hit us up with the "can you not HAVE children of your OWN?" bit, I can just go "Nope! We are officially vas defrens-less!!! Ta daaaaaaa!!!" ba-dump-CHING!!!
I think the trip back home in July and the time spent with all the insanity-inducing black eyes and sibling-induced temper tantrums and mulitple-carseats and "we dont go anywhere anymore" management issues we got caught up in with some of our friends/family of mulitples (Disclaimer: clearly this doesn't mean ALL of them, of course!!!), our whole desire to be parents of a singleton was cemented with a phone call to the private hospital. And since we've already got a lifetime ahead of us with dealing with the whole "your kid looks different than you" world of issues, we might as well face the judgemental dickhead mentality of people who have no problem announcing to you that "your child will be spoiled and stupid if you do not give it a sibling!".
Right. Love that one. It's so innocent and justified, isn't it. Because YOU know one kid who's an only child and they act like a brat, that's how MY kid is going to turn out. Classy. That's a flat out judgement of MY parenting abilities you just passed. WTF, I'm the mother who denied her child a freakin PACIFIER throughout infanthood and gives her ONE. FROZEN. PEA as a "special treat". Spoiled my ass. Let's do a follow up in 10 years and see how your 5 yelling, screaming, sister-hitting brats are so above and beyond the benchmark for "plays well with others" than mine. And IF you don't mind, I've seen my fair share of self-absorbed bratty one-of-two/three/four/five/six'es. Not to mention I haven't met an older child (or "ex-only child" as I like to call them) who wasn't better behaved and LESS spoiled than the younger one(s) so there's MY two cents. Oh, and ye who come to me with the whole "only children can't socialize well" thing? Well, that myth has been debunked by science over and over again (including in the book I'm reading right now which is FASCINATING, by the way - if anything, it says, Singletons are far more willing to adapt to others, solve social problems creatively, etc, so as to not fall out with their friends and other "worthy adversaries", whereas multiples have the whole "I'm sentenced to you for life" mentality when it comes to siblings, "so I can just beat the crap out of you and treat you like poo as much as I want - you aint goin nowhere".) so I'm gonna go ahead and go with real data instead of that old cliche that you heard 20 times in your playgroup of moms with 6 kids each and no jobs.
Ugh. Yes, there's a bit of ranting I've had stored up for a few days after a certain recent encounter. Whew. Good to get that out. Every parent needs a screw-you! blog.
But for the record (and post-rant), The Mr. and I both come from a long line of multiple siblings who were all pretty much a waste of time as far as "besty-friendy" sib-relationships go, and although we know they're out there (with my luck, that accounts for 100% of the 2 people reading this), it never really happened for us. Lucikly for our relationship, both of us, as "oldests" are on the same page about the issue. For every besty-friendy sibling set we know, we also know (or are related to) another bunch who either hate, resent, fell out with, or couldnt give a shit about each other. So, that in tandem with our enviro-nazi beliefs and attempt to fractionally-neutralize our own immediate families' carbon footprints (HA!) no touchy-feely crap at stake on that topic here.
I hear the sound of snipping!! Chuckle.
I have been so busy lately that I have been too exhausted to do Jack Shyte in the evenings. Seriously, it's insane. However, this means that in a few of my random acts of couch-flopping from exhaustion, I have managed to catch yet another Hi-Larry funny-ass show on the boob toob - "Modern Family". HA! Speak of the devil. Anyhoo, I saw it was nom'ed for a bunch of Emmys so I thought I'd give it a whirl and it was terribly funny (in sort of a "Best In Show' and "Spinal Tap" way, which makes sense then that I"d like it since those are 2 of my favorite movies). I'm still using "Cougar Town" and "HIMYM" for belly laughs too lately, both of which never fail to disappoint.
Oh crap I am so behind. Toodles.
My last, ultimate, eternally-permanent-forever-final university semester began yesterday. I got my due dates for thesis drafts and it looks like I need to have something considered "draft-worthy" by the first week of October (yikes!) and then the finalamente finale in mid-November. With any luck I will then be a Master-Master by the end of 2010. I don't even want to think about that because I'm still in the dark as to whether or not my proposed study will be accepted. But I've pushed that boat out into the lake now, and there ain't no turning back. Too many numbers are being crunched and too many thousands of words have already been written. So I'm just crossing my fingers.
The Kid is getting to be a handful. Let me just say that babyhood has been easy for us. And no that is NOT because we were BLESSED by a magically flawless creature. (I'm going to rip the face off the next person who tells me how "lucky" we are. Yeah, i'll tell you where to take your freakin "luck" and go. And it aint gonna be Vegas). Through hard work and an extremely dedicated joint-force task team (i.e. The Mr. & I) we have now successfully enjoyed the babyhood and came out on the other side with a pretty good kid. Worth at LEAST 10 bucks, I tell ya. However, now it is over. Now it is Toddler Time and all I can say is BOY HOWDY, HOW DO SOME PEOPLE DO THIS ON THEIR OWN!? I mean, DAMN! I'm not just talking about having another newly-mobile person in the house. I'm talking all the extra pee and poo that comes out of these things. And you gotta take 'em to the potty all the time. What's up with that? Every 15 minutes you're taking em to the damn potty. I waste half my days next to that damn potty. In babyhood, you just let 'em crap themselves and if you're really lazy you use disposable diapers so you don't even have to spray the things out with the hose. And then there's the extra food that needs to go into 'em when they're this size (which you gotta cook now, no more bottles and quick-mix-porridge, as well as cognitive "stuff" like now having to watch your mouths all the time and literally be TEACHING all. the. dang. time. every. minute. of. every. day. Sponges, I tell you, sponges. Oh, and that whole dealing-with-that-new-thing-they're-developing called a "temper"..... Santa Maria! Not only do you have to be uber vigilant on the reprimanding & follow-through, but you've also gotta keep your OWN temper in check. Holy Balls!
Anyhoo, LJJ is going to preschool in January so we've been out checking them out. All the options. All the crap. All the fees. All the pros & cons. I'm sorry but I'm (we're) not driving 45 minutes out of my (our) way every single day just because one school offers Kindermusik and the other one doesn't. Or because one has a more culturally diverse clientele than the other. Or an apple orchard. Ugh. Ultimately my philosophy is that The Kid is going to be learning as much if not more from ME than whatever 5 hours she spends on somebody else's watch anyway and whatever we feel she's not getting from nursery school, I'm pretty sure we can supplement at home. Frankly it's just gotta tick as many boxes as possible, including boxes that belong to Mom & Pops too, mmkay?
Speaking of family matters and Mom & Pops, in the TMI segment (I know at least 1 someone who will be interested in this if for no other reason than a certain madey-uppy band name that it refers to), The Mr. has his first appointment for his snip-snip consultation coming up. Woo hoo! Much to the dismay of our families and apparently every other human we know, we will officially not have "procreation" to add to our list of cares in the world in a few short months!! hee hee! My mate Soo keeps asking "are you SURE? are you SURE?" and I think now at least that the appointments are made, she'll finally believe us. Now when all the nosy, rude, ballsy inappropriate assholes hit us up with the "can you not HAVE children of your OWN?" bit, I can just go "Nope! We are officially vas defrens-less!!! Ta daaaaaaa!!!" ba-dump-CHING!!!
I think the trip back home in July and the time spent with all the insanity-inducing black eyes and sibling-induced temper tantrums and mulitple-carseats and "we dont go anywhere anymore" management issues we got caught up in with some of our friends/family of mulitples (Disclaimer: clearly this doesn't mean ALL of them, of course!!!), our whole desire to be parents of a singleton was cemented with a phone call to the private hospital. And since we've already got a lifetime ahead of us with dealing with the whole "your kid looks different than you" world of issues, we might as well face the judgemental dickhead mentality of people who have no problem announcing to you that "your child will be spoiled and stupid if you do not give it a sibling!".
Right. Love that one. It's so innocent and justified, isn't it. Because YOU know one kid who's an only child and they act like a brat, that's how MY kid is going to turn out. Classy. That's a flat out judgement of MY parenting abilities you just passed. WTF, I'm the mother who denied her child a freakin PACIFIER throughout infanthood and gives her ONE. FROZEN. PEA as a "special treat". Spoiled my ass. Let's do a follow up in 10 years and see how your 5 yelling, screaming, sister-hitting brats are so above and beyond the benchmark for "plays well with others" than mine. And IF you don't mind, I've seen my fair share of self-absorbed bratty one-of-two/three/four/five/six'es. Not to mention I haven't met an older child (or "ex-only child" as I like to call them) who wasn't better behaved and LESS spoiled than the younger one(s) so there's MY two cents. Oh, and ye who come to me with the whole "only children can't socialize well" thing? Well, that myth has been debunked by science over and over again (including in the book I'm reading right now which is FASCINATING, by the way - if anything, it says, Singletons are far more willing to adapt to others, solve social problems creatively, etc, so as to not fall out with their friends and other "worthy adversaries", whereas multiples have the whole "I'm sentenced to you for life" mentality when it comes to siblings, "so I can just beat the crap out of you and treat you like poo as much as I want - you aint goin nowhere".) so I'm gonna go ahead and go with real data instead of that old cliche that you heard 20 times in your playgroup of moms with 6 kids each and no jobs.
Ugh. Yes, there's a bit of ranting I've had stored up for a few days after a certain recent encounter. Whew. Good to get that out. Every parent needs a screw-you! blog.
But for the record (and post-rant), The Mr. and I both come from a long line of multiple siblings who were all pretty much a waste of time as far as "besty-friendy" sib-relationships go, and although we know they're out there (with my luck, that accounts for 100% of the 2 people reading this), it never really happened for us. Lucikly for our relationship, both of us, as "oldests" are on the same page about the issue. For every besty-friendy sibling set we know, we also know (or are related to) another bunch who either hate, resent, fell out with, or couldnt give a shit about each other. So, that in tandem with our enviro-nazi beliefs and attempt to fractionally-neutralize our own immediate families' carbon footprints (HA!) no touchy-feely crap at stake on that topic here.
I hear the sound of snipping!! Chuckle.
I have been so busy lately that I have been too exhausted to do Jack Shyte in the evenings. Seriously, it's insane. However, this means that in a few of my random acts of couch-flopping from exhaustion, I have managed to catch yet another Hi-Larry funny-ass show on the boob toob - "Modern Family". HA! Speak of the devil. Anyhoo, I saw it was nom'ed for a bunch of Emmys so I thought I'd give it a whirl and it was terribly funny (in sort of a "Best In Show' and "Spinal Tap" way, which makes sense then that I"d like it since those are 2 of my favorite movies). I'm still using "Cougar Town" and "HIMYM" for belly laughs too lately, both of which never fail to disappoint.
Oh crap I am so behind. Toodles.
Labels: The Kid Files
"Botswana Vasectomy"! LMAO!!! HL! (Hi-Larry!)
Yes ma'am, welcome to toddlerville with a cold bucket of ice water to the face. Remember--I got my kid when she had just turned 3 and it is work work work and vigilance vigilance vigilance and pay attention to me pay attention to me pay attention to me and play with me play with me play with me. Good luck! Have fun! And tell J3 her Auntie Adela says hi!