My Year of Meaningful (2011)

Wait! Wait!!! 2010!!! come back!!!!

I feel like this holiday has gone so fast and I'm not READY. I haven't had any quality time to spend in my brain and just think about any New Year's Intentions or where to go from here. I'm almost kind of depressed because we've been so busy that it's all slid past me and I didn't get to *enjoy* the last week and a half... and I'm starting to feel anxiety about going back down to the bottom of the earth in just a few days.... shiiiiiiit!!!!

While having a few hours off from the craziness just now, using the excuse that LJJ has to take a nap & isn't feeling well (which she's not, she's a sick little puppy) I am grabbing a few hours to myself in our little housey to rest and just process it all while The Mr runs some errands & for once... NOBODY IS VISITING. I clicked over to my blog from NY's day a year ago to see what was going through my mind then and it says this (reminder that I was suffering a case of blood-poisoning at the time):

"So on to this year - I can't really be bothered making new years resolutions because I'm kinda draggin', but I've heard The Mr. say it several times over: the year of positivity, the year of happy, the year of casting negative vibes out the door. So with that I must pick up my ill and melancholy self, a little bit annoyed at some of the last days of 2009 and thoroughly annoyed with the last 3-4 months of 2009, and dust it off and do the C'mon Get Happy dance.

Good things to look forward to this year:
Cape in Feb.
Aus at Easter
World Cup Football 2010 South Africa
USA in July (?) - which, I've decided, with ample planning and effort CAN be as good as Xmas 2008!
Finishing my thesis and becoming Master Master
Being mindful
Being at peak fitness and finding a road race to train for
Being part of the Hash, a group of folks I have grown enamoured with & look forward to seeing each week
Seeing friends, seeing friends, seeing friends!!
Making time to talk to friends either online or on the phone
Harvesting the biggest buttload of home grown veggies out of my own garden, all year
Xmas 2010 in NL, which, with ample planning and effort CAN be *almost* as good as Xmas 2008!"

I notice that I was really fixated on Xmas 2008 which is when we went to the states and had a brilliant xmas and new years with friends, friends, friends including a semi-pleasant family christmas for the first time ever as well as hanging with the hometown crowd including bwuddaman, and did the fun New Orleans trip with Bella and Brandone and the fantastic cross-country drive with Jean and discovered that we really liked the mid-atlantic region...?
I don't really know how that makes me feel, upon reflection... I can remember writing those things as if it was just yesterday, so it's not surprising or weird or anything, and in general, yeah, that pretty much was 2010 for me. I guess I have no feeling whatsoever towards it. I will say that today I am heaving a sigh of satisfaction and relief that I *DID* manage to make 2010 the year of the pushups. In fact I'm going to go do my last ones for the year right after this. I'm not really sure what I have to say about that - I got massive triceps out of it, doing it everyday makes me feel good and I'm satisfied with the amount of time out of my life that it required and am satisfied with it being the most successful NY's resolution I've ever made and stuck to. But now what? Do I still do these things every day? If I don't, will my muscles dissolve? Is there ever any lifestyle change you can do "sort of"??? I wanted to think about these things, dammit, and the last 2 weeks have been so damn busy and frantic that I haven't gotten any quiet time in my head to do so!!!

I wanted to make a list of NY resolutions but again I don't feel like I've really had enough time to refine the list to make it just "the right" combination of "doable" and "worth resolving to do"-ish. If I learned anything from friends' lists of resolutions last year it's that you don't want to overshoot the moon or you'll just end up depressed over not being superhuman and achieving feats of greatness in 1 year. And, another thing: if 2010 was the year of the pushups, should 2011 be the year of the situps? Leg lifts? What do I do about the things I wanted to do last year that didn't materialize? agh! So I guess just to see it in writing here are my options that I am thinking about :
- everyday exercise (i.e. the daily 1-minute workout i'm already doing, but something different)
- train for Cape Town 2-Oceans 1/2 marathon in April
- the year of husbandly romance!
- the year of bluegrass and other music?
- attitude towards work... but what?
- write the LJJ storybook
- put more effort into looking presentable?

Obviously there are some plain old "givens" that I need to concentrate on in terms of self-improvement. Working harder at the office, being a better friend, having more acceptance, patience & tolerance for things I can't control.... being a better friend WITH more acceptance, patience & tolerance for things I can't control.... keeping the positive attitude moving UPWARDS and not backwards. jeez, adulthood is hard. Living in the human community and not being a jackass is hard. It takes WORK, I learned this over the last couple years and I don't LIKE it. I guess the good thing is that New Years gives you the starting line that you need to take the deep breath and say "ok, HERE is where I'm going to kickstart it". I practiced some of the acceptance thing last night when Little Bwudda I.L. (in law) stayed back at our house after the "family drinks night" that we hosted here in our temporary digs for The Mr's family. He let lose some really intense fambly drama problems that he's working through at the moment and really wanted our "outside" perspective on it. God knows The Mr & I are always willing to give our opinions on this sort of thing but I made sure I really drove home the whole "I can talk to you about this forever, but just remember it's only one outlook on the situation and you have to do whatever it is that YOU want to do and only go by YOUR gut feeling, not anybody else's point". I tried really hard not to convince him to do what me & The Mr. would do, but rather just give him a lot of "here's how I/We feel, but don't forget we're all different people" reminders between every answer he solicited from us. Which is easy to forget to do when you're trying to "help". I had to remind The Mr a lot of times too because he is REALLY passionate about some of the topics that came up and some of the problems on the table being that it's his family. He has a tendency to emulate his father much more than he'd like to by doing a lot of (really loud) "this is how it is, and trust me because I'm right" advising when he gets swept up in the current. I suppose we all do including myself so therein is an area for improvement. -sigh- dually noted.

anyway, I'm not really feeling that comfortable in my own brain right now - so I should perhaps stop stressing about the year 2011 here in the last hours of 2010 and just let go of everything and wait to see what "2011" actually "feels like" before I turn into a "idiot" who puts too much "emphasis" on the "new year" and ends up going "air quote crazy" in their sentences.

I'll tell you one thing that is really ruining my concentration right now, though, is this DAMN trash-can-lid-blowing-up thing that is a really freakin' annoying New Year's tradition here in the countryside of The Netherest of Lands.... damn rednecks who fill garbage bins up with explosives and blow the lid off of them. driving me nuts. BANG!!! BANG!!!! BANG!!!! It's so loud you can hear it for kilometers around. While the Mr. and I were peacefully enjoying some speed skating (now THAT's another story all together!) in the beautiful peaceful snowy forest yesterday the local redneck teenagers were going crazy with the explosions. One thing is for certain is that if you're trying speed skates for the first time ever and you have to concentrate, this is NOT handy. And now it's not handy for sick 20-month-olds that are trying to sleep. ugh! arseholes!

LJJ has been a real trooper the past couple weeks. so much so that now she's sick. Lots of kissing funny relatives, lots of crazy kids running around, lots of dutch speaking (she's using her first dutch words though, so that's a good step), lots of being off-schedule, and thankfully lots of SLEEPING. The poor thing is so exhausted every day she's been sleeping from between 8 & 9 pm to between 9 & 10 am every day. She's just so over-stimulated by all the action and new people and people who want to love her and snuggle her and play with her that she's just knackered all the time. And the freezing bloody cold - this is the girl who doesn't own a coat and never wears shoes, let alone has to get packed into 3 layers and hand-constraining mittens and suffocating scarves every time we go out the door. No wonder she's under the weather now.

We have been seeing a LOT of people this trip. All the Mr's friends have come to visit us, even those who had to drive a few hours to do it, which is really nice. A lot of them have REALLY changed, some of them not so much. Most all of them have kids, some of them on the way. They range in behaviour levels from "totally out of control and jumping on the couch" to "really sweet and well-behaved". LJJ has a tendency to watch some of the WWE-style kids with her jaw on the ground and eyes as big as dinner plates, from the safety of the couch and NOT get involved. I really hope she doesn't pick up any violent and crazy traits. But then again what she doesnt pick up here she's probably going to bring home from nursery school with her come January, so I suppose I just better cross my fingers.

In the Friends WithOUT Kids Department, I think the highlight of the trip so far has been Marco & Corne's visit (& Jean's) on account of the massive amount of humor therapy that they brought with them. I really needed the 3 nights of non-family-obligations that were associated with those few days, and the Skip-Bo marathons that deteriorated into slap-happyness and gut-wrenching belly laughs. I really still feel kinda empty now that they're gone, even a couple days later.

In the Family department, I really enjoyed Little Bwudda I.L.'s strangely bizarre and spontaneous 2:00a.m. deep & meaningful heart-to-heart with The Mr and I last night after everyone left. That particular L.B.I.L. was the one that we have never really gotten along with and who is the one with the loudest mouth and the most outrageous cold and unemotional opinions and outlook on the world. Turns out after last night I have a lot of empathy for him that I didn't before and I can see why he acts like such a douche sometimes. I think the truth is he does have a tiny little bit of humanity deep in his heart, he just is completely incapable of knowing what to do with it and how to act towards other people. Turns out he's also just very very nervous about change and new, different experiences. What I took from the whole experience last night was that he really does have feelings for us and that he values our opinions enough that when he's found himself in this really jacked-up pickle, he genuinely wanted to come to us to talk. That feels weird and yet endears us to him because we always thought he was just a big, cold jerk with no emotions or even fibre of softness in his body.

From the 3rd of Jan., The Mr & I are heading off to the island of Texel for 2 days by ourselves. ahhhh. salt water, posh hotel, no baby & NO EXPLODING TRASH CANS!!!! AGGGGHHHH

I guess if "The Year of Romance" is a good idea for me to do for 2011, that's where it should probably kick off. But I need benchmarks and small goals. What are romantical benchmarks and goals anyway? What would those be? Something to ponder. And what would the "year of bluegrass and other music" be? How do I realize that? How do I get that done?

Oh, and finally, I am reading "Freedom" by Jonathan Franzen right now and it is REALLY good.

I guess now is as good a time as any to go do those last pushups of 2010. Onwards. Breathe.

Labels: holiday recap, mi familia, The spirit of 2010

There is something to be said for "killing 'em with kindness", I reckon. If the first 3 months of 2010 have taught me anything, it's slowly coming to this.


So after telling Adelly that her most recent encounter with an unreasonable cow (not too far off in nature from my unreasonable cow in the Aus high commission) would've been far more 2010 if it had involved pretending said cow didn't exist rather than reacting and wasting her breath, blood pressure, and time of day, it got me thinking - MAN I've changed! WTF!! But I feel it's for the better - if nothing else, my new shock tactic of remaining mindful and turning the other cheek when necessary, (not because I LIKE TO, but more because it's so new and different that it's almost like going out of the house in disguise or something) has really taken a lot of my typical nemeses by surprise and left them corn-fused and slack-jawed and I'll be damned if that isn't just a wee bit of a cherry on top of the personal improvement!

My point here is that the results are back in - LJJ's passport arrived WITH Aussie visa neatly pasted inside, so even if I second, third, and fourth-guessed myself about ripping Mrs. Nasty Nosey Cow in Visitors' Visas a new arse-hole, it turns out that the few-deep-breaths option won out over the protest option. And everybody wins, because I'm STILL going to write that nasty-ass letter when we get back and they can't do anything to me anymore. On top of that, Mr. Arrogant-Doesnt-Like-My-Research Professor got a confounding email from me (after he wrote me some horribly rude email about how I need to "just get on with it" and stop being so needy! Shock! Horror!) where *I* actually apologized for bothering him and all sorts of really nice stuff that I'm sure made him go "HUH?! WTF?!", because I immediately got a really kiss-ass response back from him that you would've thought was coming from my biggest fan. I rubbed my hands together and laughed. It's almost entertaining. Although the initial blow-to-the-ego part is still difficult. But really - Patience. Virtue. Kill with kindness. All that stuff. It's entertaining if nothing else.

Anyhoo, I haven't had the time to do crap lately because I've got the pedal to the metal in terms of getting this draft of my Stage 1 Thesis development in, prior to us leaving. That and I gotta finish up MY LAST MAGAZINE for the Animal Peeps as editor HOT DIGGITY!! Before we leave too.

And we leave Saturday.

And boy am I excited!!! Just wish me luck that LJJ hangs in there and doesnt let the jetlag turn her into a baby monster. I can't believe it will be her 1st birthday while we are away. She doesn't seem BIG enough to be 1, but hey, them's the facts, Jack. She was hanging out with a 9-month old the other day at her play group and I swear he dwarfed her. Well, he *was* a sturdy old breast-fed German boy, I guess. But still, even our Ecologist at work's 5-month old is bigger than her. dude. talk about taking after your mamma!

Right, so as far as trip plans, my activities are as follows, for the remainder of the week:

• Book Sydney hotel, going for the highest amount of stars for the lowest price in the CBD by strategically stalking lastminute.com
• Figure out how to pack for 2 weeks and about 3 different seasons in nothing but 1 backpack (I am determined to go lighter or at least as-light as Cape Town - wish me luck)
• Submit draft to Prof. Jackass
• Wrap up particular work issue that has been dangling
• Hand over my Grand Mattress duties to the Assistant GM
• Lose 1kg

Now I have to stop writing because I gots to get on the shizzle.

Labels: The spirit of 2010, trip planning

Well, the inevitable happened and lo and behold The Mr. and I have found ourselves on another committee!!  Although this time I can live with the committee, being that there are no monthly meetings, no fund raisers, no PR events.... altogether a relatively obligation-free responsibility.  While I feel honored to have been "elected" into what is apparently the bigwig position of the Hash, I'm just nervous that I will suck at it, and what were these people thinking?!?!    Pete was soooooooo good as Grand Master.... he's funny, witty, can command respect, and is one of those outgoing types who makes people just WANT to do what he says.  And at that hash that usually means sitting on a block of ice while you get serenaded with drinking songs due to some transgression or another that you've been found guilty of.... or hanging a big piece of rhino shit on a rope, around your neck for some other reason, etc.  At any rate, here goes.  I just need to learn to throw my voice because

The Mr., on the other hand, has a great job.  He got elected Braumeister, and is now in charge of mixing the most horrific, nasty-tasting, nuclear-colored drinks he can dream up, for those guilty of their hash crimes. And he has to house the hash beer fridge for the duration of his tenure, and ensure that all hash beverages make it from point A to point B on time and in an icy cold manner.

Otherwise, the last couple weeks have been interesting, as it just so happened that I got in touch with more than one "long-losty" as seems to be happening more and more in the day and age of FB.  Anyway, that was really great.  Especially one in particular, someone who was my real BFF during one of the major parts of my most life-changing years.  In the spirit of 2010, I'm not going to complain about it, but may I just say it is WORTH NOTING that I have had to have the same conversation at least 3 times during all these cyber reunions and that is:  "but you SWORE that you were NEVER going to have KIDS!"   Since the arrival of LJJ on the scene, I've had this conv. about a bizillion times now, and it just goes to show that what you SAY and what people HEAR can be completely confounded by the likes of one or two little words that can go either way.

Let's start with the facts: 
1. I may not be a lot of things, but one thing I definitely AM, is a gal of the "never say never" mind.  You tell me you'll "never" go back to smoking or that girl or that job or eating death by chocolate for breakfast, and I'll say "HEY watch it, stranger things have happened!"  or "HEY never say never!"  I know, because it's true!
2. I have said a lot of things in the anti-offspring department, absolutely.  Yes.  100% correct.  But ALWAYS in the back of my mind there was a door open somewhere, I just had to figure out down which corridor it was located.  Therefore.... "never say never!"

So as I have recently found myself explaining (x 10), I would like to clear up the things that could easily have been interpreted as me saying something as CATAGORICAL and BLACK AND WHITE as "Me. Child. Never. Forever."

10 Things I probably said:
1.  Kids?  Not a fan.   (as in.... "of other peoples!"  or, "poorly behaved ones!")
2.  Us? Kids?  I don't see it happening any time soon (as in.... "soon could be anywhere between 2 days and 10 years")
3.  Not really interested at the moment  (as in, see above)
4.  "Eeeewwww!!!"  (as in, "eeewww!  child birth!!!"... again, strictly related to child-getting methodology)
5.  Not even on the radar right now (see No.s  2, 3)
6.  Why don't you go and have yours first and then we'll see  (as in.... I'm not in a hurry, k?)
7.  My husband's & my outrageous, radical enviro-nazi, anti-populationist beliefs prevent us from breeding more humans for the earth to absorb when there's already clearly a population crisis stemming from 18 year old poverty stricken African mothers of 5 in this country to wealthy high-impact, high-CO2 footprint mormon families in Utah or Catholics in Ireland thumbing their noses at the concept of Replacement Rate, overall resulting in too many babies that already exist  (as in.... I still don't believe in personally contributing to population issues).
8.  Uhhhhh.... I dunno....   (as in....  "I.  Don't.  Know."  but anything's possible!)
9.  I've got dogs.  Aren't my dogs GREAT???!!!   (as in.... "not ready yet!!"... but still, anything's possible!!), and finally,
10. But I love The Mr. sooo much, I don't think I would want to share him with anyone else!!  (absolutely, totally true!  But not a categorical denial of 100% of any possibility for eternity!!)

And yes, there's probably a wealth of others - I'm sure I'll be reminded of 4,000 of them after writing this, but still.... I know in my own BRAIN that I never believed it would be smart to say "uh-uh, NEVER!", because hey, it was always a possibility.  Hell, I'm the one who never wanted to put my old copy of "Goodnight Moon" in our family's numerous garage sales because I always wanted to hand it down!  But ultimately The Mr. & I both just had to get to a point where we could figure out how and when we could both live with doing it.  Sure I'm probably writing all this now because my BUDDIES out there try to make me feel guilty for alluding to one thing and doing another,  especially b/c LJJ is such a cutie pants and they get a kick out of saying "now see, aren't you glad you CHANGED YOUR MIND??"  but I still firmly believe it comes down to splitting hairs semantically.  Because I know what was, and wasn't, actually on my/our life-and-family-planning agenda, regardless of what other people want to hear when I utter the nonsense that comes out of my mouth!!

Anyhoo, if nothing else the lesson learned from all this, here, is still that I stand by my conviction that it's silly to make black and white statements that use the word "never" in them, and I still maintain that I try not to do it!  (see how I said that without using the words "I never do it"??) And!  even when you are creative with your sematics (like I try to be!) to avoid making gross generalizations or statements of concrete... be careful because people still read into the words you say and will ride your ass about what they heard, for years to come!  And in the Spirit of 2010 it's just unhealthy to use qualifiers in the negative anyway, so there!

In other Year of Positivity news, I'm hitting this whole "relationship building" with the parents thing head-on. I resolved to say at least 10 supportive and positive things about the Ma & Pa last night at the hash, to everyone who will be meeting them next week, in preparation for not falling into that whole "uhhhhnnnnn, my parents are coming.... uhhhnnnnnn.... they're gonna drive me nuts & they're so annnoooyyyying" trap that I have been really bad at propogating over the last, what, 16 years of my life???    So now, everyone at the hash is looking forward to meeting them and has given me all sorts of positive vibes about how we are going to have such a nice time, and how special it will be for them to meet their first grand-offspring, etc etc etc and I really believe that it is genuinely helping get me in the right head space for their impending arrival.  The power of this whole verbalizing-the-right-things-and-they-will-come-true is truly impressive!  I heartily recommend it!

Labels: HHH, The Kid Files, The spirit of 2010

(hours in the day, that is)

How is it possible that when both me and The Mr. work until 6:30pm nearly every day, that we are supposed to be able to run this ship effectively???

Here is a sample schedule of what I'm up against (note: as we alternate days working from home, this is strictly for the one of us who's on office duty):

- 6:30pm - lock up, drive home
- 7:00pm - arrive home (if not required to stop by grocery store or other some such)
- 7 to 8 - help out spouse with baby dinner/adult dinner/bath/feed dogs/adult sanity check/relief baby duty, etc
- 8:00pm - throw baby in bed
- 8:10pm - eat dinner
- 8:30pm - finish dinner
<  1.5="" hour="" key="" magical="" period!!="" time="">
- 10:00pm- read
- 10:30pm - sleep or extra reading
- 11:00pm - sleep

OMG! It's like that key magical 1.5hr time period is all there is for either watching tv, communicating with friends online, taking a swim, or a shower, playing the banjo or viola, teaching the husband his gee-tar lesson, or tidying up or having a glass of wine with your dearly beloved or playing with the pups or making a phone call or reading the newspaper or whatever!   And don't even get me started on if I am really going to be able to write my thesis this year...AGHH!

I refuse to deprive myself of the valuable nighttime sleep that enables me to get through my already hectic work day, so I'm not going to all of a sudden start screwing myself out of sleep & reading.... although I have acquired a guilty pleasure of watching syndicated episodes of "Medium" which is now on weeknights between 10-11, which has on occaision been known to nix my reading time in favor of mind-numbing television.

But ALL that stuff that happens between the crazy-ass hour of 7-8 is just out of control.  I leave the office most days in a tizzy, only to come home to the even greater tizzy that is 7-8.  eish. 

However, I see where this is headed (the land of complaint and moaning) so I'm gonna stop right here and call for a re-focus on finding my 2010 hat!!

People are slipping, all around me!  Seriously, what's up with that!  Just because it's February and no longer "the new year", doesn't mean we get to go back to the same tired old negative jive.  Suck it up and get it together, people!  Focus!   Is this 2010 or 200-Moan!!??   Positive shit, NOW!  Move it!!

Cue Mitigation Mode:

Here is a Top 10 Most Excellent Things About My Daily Routine List:

10. I can go to the gym at lunch whenever I want
9. We always have good coffee in the office. DAMN good coffee.
8. I don't have a boss
7. I AM the boss
6. I like my co-workers & they like me
5. Four Words: Billy the Office Dog
4. The kiddo stays up til 8 so I get to see her
3. My husband typically has dinner nearly ready at night
2. The kiddo sleeps like a rock, 100% reliably, meaning so do I
1. There are WEEKENDS,  EVERY WEEK, and they're never more than 5 days away!!!

Yeah just think of all those janitors out there, or even worse, the folks with jobs where they're away from home all the time or don't know if they'll even HAVE a job this time next week or next month or next year.  Try maintaining stability and sanity with that kinda routine.

OK.... negativity crisis averted.

In other good fitness news I am consistantly maintaining 51kg in weight and up to 40 crunches and 20 pushups (proper ones) in my daily morning routine.  I wanted to see how it would work so January was kind of a trial month.... every morning before coming downstairs I did 10 pushups and 30 crunches.  With the goal of adding on an extra 10 (to each) per month.  So near the end of January I added an extra 5 pushups, and the extra crunches were no problem because I'm pretty good at those from all that gymming...  So this first week of February has been the new total, which I struggled a little with (the pushups not the situps) during the first few days but now it's all good. Albeit sore.  But that's how I like it.

And I am pleasantly surprised with my abdominal definition - something I've been chasing for oh, about a hundred years now, but never managed to get.  I realize now it's because I was never working my abs daily, and was only doing them at whatever interval I was going to the gym or yoga.  Which can be sporadic and often as little as once a week, depending on my schedule.  Once I started the 7 days a week thing it was just like - bang! results!  AND it only takes 5 minutes or less.  So regardless of my taking this many years to finaly delegate 5 minutes of my morning to this little experiment, I've settled in to it now and have come to the realization that it IS actually quite manageable despite my acute bad attitude toward mornings and everything they stand for.  I am absolutely fascinated by the idea that by the end of the year, if I CAN actually keep adding an extra 10 per month.... I could be doing as many as what, 100+ pushups???  That would be one hell of an accomplishment for me, anyway.  Especially since I'm not talking about the girly kind of pushups here.  I believe yes, I would probably feel like quite the badass if I can get that one nailed.

Labels: The spirit of 2010, weight

Seriously, how far do we go with the positivity sentiment of 2010?

My goal pretty much lies on the "if you can't say something nice, put a sock in it" side, and stays there.  But here's a doozy of a contentious issue in which I'm tempted to not say something nice, but putting a sock in it could have equal adverse impacts on a friendship...

Allow me to explain:

I should've saved the email, but it was just bugging me too much, seeing the subject title in my inbox.
Right, so like a week ago, my friend Crazy E of DC sends out this mass email (personally that already annoyed me), subject headed:  "Urgent, Please reply, Your cooperation is needed" or something like that.  Then in mass email lingo it was pretty much like (I'm paraphrasing here, since I deleted it) "if you're receiving this email it's because I want to re-enter the fed govt after my contract here is up, and you or someone you know is not a US citizen.  I am required to turn over this information for all non-citizens that I am linked to so that they can check that you are not a terrorist or on some watch list.  So, can you please send me the following information:
- full name
- address
-country of citizenship
- employers name
-address
-date of birth
etc
etc
etc

I can't remember the whole list.  But anyway then the "personal p.s.es" were at the bottom.  It was like an addendum in bullet points:

• Bob, can you send me this info for Sue
• Joe, can you send me this info for Liz
• Leroy can you send me this info for Bubba
• Oh wayward one, can you send me this info for The Mr.

etc etc  (obviously the list of names were those of us who are lucky enough to be married to, or related to, or WHATEVER to non-citizens).

OK this just annoys me on so many levels.  Nevermind the fact that I have some outrageous libertarian political beliefs but quite frankly I'm just uncomfortable with this!!  But just for the record, here are JUST A FEW of the levels that I'm uncomfortable with this on:

1. Mass, impersonal email asking ME for a favor... um HELLO, am I the only one who is picking up a twitch or facial tick whilst reading this?  OK I realize you know a lot of international people and sending each of them this email would be cumbersome for you, but come on, a little sneaky cut n' pasting instead of MASS MAIL wouldnt kill you, right?
2. Obviously, *I* am a US citizen, so since you don't need this info from me, and rather for my husband, would it not be prudent to email me asking for HIS email address instead of assuming I am his private secretary?
3. The SUBJECT HEADER of this email is like "drop everything you're doing, 'cuz it's ME TIME!!"
4. I really REALLY hate the idea of Big Brother harvesting personal details of those who are not its citizens under the guise of "your friend is relying on you giving him/her this info for their carreer". I don't believe in it, and it SUCKS.
5. Not once in the email is there any sort of "opt out" option, and that really pisses me off.

OK so there are 5 (out of many more) things that annoyed me the first time I received the email.... (yes, wait for it...)  and while I was spending a few days hashing out my ethics and my capacity to live The Spirit of 2010 and my beliefs, I receive a 2nd email from Crazy E of DC.  (again, this is paraphrased because I deleted it)
"Oh Wayward One can I ask you AGAIN to PLEASE hurry up and send me this info for The Mr.? I've already gotten 47 of my required responses and am waiting on you"...

No, that is NOT the exact wording, and there were no capital letters involved, but since I can't go back and cut/paste, that's just me re-visiting the sentiment of it.  (and yes, the number of responses returned was mentioned, and was 47).

OK so now I'm REALLY annoyed.  I'm starting to think of it less like "it's not the end of the world and this person is my friend so I should help them and just do it", and more like "OY! WTF! If I was a devout muslim and I came to your house for dinner and you were serving non-halaal meat, I would NOT EAT IT!"  As in, this really offends my Anti-big-brother beliefs and my outrageous belief in privacy protection!!  And I still haven't come up with an admirable way to deal with it that A) is in the spirit of 2010 (i.e. not zipping back with a "Screw you and your damn potential job!" or just "Homie don't play dat!")  and B) doesn't screw my friend out of a job and C) doesn't piss them off.

So I leave it for 2 days and stew. 

But then I realize I'm stewing.

And stewing is DEFINITELY not in the Spirit of 2010.

Because the more I stew, the more the negative thoughts wrap themself around my brain and start squeezing. The more I wake up in the middle of the night writhing in sheer pissed-off'edness.

So today I decided my plan of attack (inappropriate wording, I know) would be a passive email and an "option D: none of the above".   So I wrote this:
-------------------------------------
You can ask him yourself
mailto:Mr@whatever%20dot%20com

I don't believe in harvesting personal details for big brother's spying purposes!

(Sorry for the delay in response - my iPhone wasnt cooperating with my gmail and I haven't been in the office for ages).

-me
-----------------------------------

OK so there it is.  Passive, brief, sock-in-it, and topped off with a little white lie that says "I wasn't trying to be a beeyatch, it was out of my control".  -sigh-

So ultimately, there's my attempt at compromise: I've opened a door so that the info needed can be got (through the channel that SHOULD have been used the first time, IMHO), but I'm not compromising my own convictions in the process, since I still WANT to be a good friend, and yes, I know, a good friend does favors even when not over the moon about it.  And yes, I know a good friend does not do the Little White (Lie) Band-Aid thing...

ugh, I'm not good at this.  It's easier just to be a jerk.

But let it be known.... about 5 days have passed, and there has been no response - not to me OR The Mr.
Hmmm.

But I haven't been stewing anymore.  Maybe that's because the in-laws were here and I'm just too busy (& sick) to stew?  I don't know!

Labels: The spirit of 2010